Mario Buatta’s House of Treasures

Sotheby’s really set the scene for the two-day auction of decorator Mario Buatta’s “stuff” (and there’s a lot of it) this week (Thursday, January 23, 2020, and Friday, January 24). There are 922 lots, many containing more than one object. There’s already online bidding, and the live auction begin at 10am on Thursday.

I WAS LIKE the proverbial kid in the candy store. That was last Thursday as I wandered through Sotheby’s auction house in New York to view items from the estate of decorator Mario Buatta:

There, over there on that wall painted acid green, were some of the Cavalier King Charles spaniel portraits that featured so prominently in Mario’s interiors! Oh, that 18th-century Venetian rococo child’s chair! At least eight pagoda-shape hanging

Two touches of Mario:
LEFT: One lot is four enormous blue silk ribbons from which the decorator would hang paintings from ceiling almost to floor.
RIGHT: A small but splashy touch in the right room, a Venetian Rococo polychrome child’s chair.

lanterns? Seems like a lot, but they were outnumbered by . . . 49 ceramic vases and ice-cups in the shape of tulips, and how many asparagus serving “boxes”? And pieces of an early-19th-century Coalport dessert set? And don’t forget the dog statues. And pillows embroidered with cheeky sayings. The esteemed, even beloved, designer died in October 2018, and it has taken this while to sort through some 5,000 fabulous decorative objects he owned.

Yes, in addition to being funny, charming and talented, Mario was . . . a hoarder! He had his Manhattan apartment chock-a-block with objets, plus a house in Connecticut that friends and colleagues say was little more than a storehouse. According to industry statistics, one in every 11 Americans has a storage unit; well, Mario had five. Actually, reflecting on how much stuff he had, I guess this sale was pulled together at lightning speed. And it contains only about 1,000 of Mario’s belongings; lesser items will be sold elsewhere.

Sotheby’s has gone all out to inject the public exhibition of Mario’s possessions with the designer’s decorative flair. While

The scene at Sotheby’s on the first day of public viewing before the Mario Buatta auction. Several people pointed out that Mario himself would have loved to see his precious objects displayed in such abundance, something he couldn’t do because most of his things were kept in storage. Note in rear left and right, the use of the blue ribbons to hang paintings. One design expert pointed out that Mario “was the master at the ‘hang.’ ” / MyLittleBird photo.

auction viewings generally have glass vitrines lined up and filled with the items for sale, or paintings hung shoulder to shoulder, in this case the auction house set up housekeeping, Mario Buatta-style: Separate “rooms,” complete with prewar crown and wall moldings and high ceilings and Mario’s paint colors, embraced and showed off the extraordinary wares Mario bought for himself, sometimes with potential clients in mind.

Wandering through the rooms was like walking into pages from Architectural Digest magazine or, even better, World of

No kidding: Mario had a thing for dogs! Both of these doggie items–a wooden pooch to hold your house keys and a cast-iron greyhound door stop–are in one lot, with a pre-auction estimate of $600 to $900. / MyLittleBird photo.

Interiors, and discovering that everything you find tempting is . . . for sale! To the highest bidder! And, yes, therein lies the rub: Items in celebrity auctions such as this tend to sell for more than their estimates and often way above their “true” value.

However, it costs nothing to stroll through the room settings and vignettes in the days running up to the two-day auction itself and fantasize where you might use, say, a kind-of lived-in-looking little 19th-century pagoda-form black-and-gold japanned étagère (estimated to sell between $2,000 and $3,000, but as of Sunday night, online bidding had already taken it to $3,500). Or a knee-high wood sculpture of a poodle (or perhaps English sheepdog, hard to tell) that holds a wood salver to take your house keys when you walk in the door (twinned with a cast-iron greyhound doorstop, the two of them with an estimate of between $600 and $900).

Back in the 1980s, when the English country house look was all in vogue (or at least in decorating magazines), Mario was known as the Prince of Chintz; he’s now being touted by Sotheby’s as the Prince of Interiors. Maybe that reflects the way this lush, layered style of interior decoration has taken a back seat to more streamlined visions. Or maybe it’s that just one touch of Mario, one item from this glorious hoard, would enhance any interior anywhere.

—Nancy McKeon

Mario Buatta: Prince of Interiors, Sotheby’s, 1334 York Avenue, New York, NY 10021; 212-606-7000, sothebys.com (where the auction lots can also be viewed). Auction, Thursday and Friday, January 23 and 24, 2020; public viewing of the items, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, January 20-22, 2020, 10am to 5pm.

One of many dog portraits in the Mario Buatta auction is this Spaniel in an Interior, by a 19th-century English School artist, with a $1,000-to-$1,500 pre-auction estimate.

A Winter Treat

SIX YEARS AGO (but who’s counting?) I wrote about this incredible (and easy to make) Salt-Crusted Currant Rye Bread, from Patrick O’Connell of The Inn at Little Washington. My reason then was the dreary, drizzly early-spring weather. But LittleBird Janet suggests that the wintry blast forecast for this weekend might be just as good a reason to light the oven.

Now, as then, here are some tips: Before you decamp to the kitchen, first a quick trip to the supermarket, unless you already have rye flour, currants, caraway seeds and pecans in the pantry. And yeast! Don’t forget to buy yeast! Try to get the caraway seeds at a place that sells them in bulk: Otherwise those precious little jars will run you a fortune because you’ll probably want two of them.

Assemble, mix, let rise (only about an hour), form long, slim loaves, bake and then make sure the butter is out of the fridge because a sheen of butter on a slim slice of this party-size rye bread is going to make your weekend a whole lot brighter.

You can find Chef O’Connell’s recipe here. And if you’d like to discover that, yes, you really can make Rabbit Braised in Apple Cider or Miniature Caramelized Onion Tartlets, you can buy his book—the one I keep going back to—here.

—Nancy McKeon

MyLittleBird often includes links to products we write about. Our editorial choices are made independently; nonetheless, a purchase made through such a link can sometimes result in MyLittleBird receiving a commission on the sale, whether through a retailer, an online store or Amazon.com.

Green Acre #179: Seasonal Whiplash

So much to contemplate in winter, even for the granddog of “Stephanie Gardens,” Tallula. / Photo by Monica Cavanaugh Weddle.

I’M SITTING on the back porch, toes wriggling in my flip-flops, staring at the wood pile, stacked here for easy access to the living-room fireplace. For the wood we’ll have no use, this week at least.

It’s January 12th.

While the rest of the country reels from blizzards and tornadoes, here the buds on the cherry tree in my backyard are already beginning to swell, the daffs in the beds are poking up to taste the air. Washington DC is suffering with another ridiculously early spring, or maybe it’s an extended fall.

On the one hand this is pleasant, I think, wriggling my toes again in the warmth. On the other hand I fear for my hydrangeas: Margot, Phyllis, Alice, and the trio named Monica. The girls depend on a steady descent of winter chill that lasts until the return of sustained warmth for their flowering. Schizophrenic weather with dizzying swoops between cold and warm can mean blossoms nipped and no flowering at all. This has happened.

Interlude.

For various reasons, I was glad to leave New York for Washington. Not the least were the frigid winters. I suppose temperatures in Minnesota are far worse, and they probably don’t call Chicago the windy city for nothing. I’d rather not find out. New York was bad enough, the wind whipping around 20-, 30-, 100-story buildings, barreling down narrow side streets, piercing the warmest of cold-weather gear—which one really didn’t want to wear, it’s so hideously unfashionable, instead one walked about with knees as red as a baboon’s rump.

Sometimes I’d stop dead on the sidewalk, tears flooding my eyes and freezing on my cheeks, and silently scream, GOD, TAKE ME NOW.

It was that painful. What a relief to move even these few hours south, despite the absence of bagels and having to drive, which I’ve yet to do well (this was 40 years ago). For me this has always been the perfect climate.

In normal times the temperature usually plunges to the 30s for three or four weeks, most often at night when I’m at home, nose to book, anyway. Sometimes there’s snow. Sometimes that snow piles upon pile and the kids can sled on the Capitol grounds (if the Capitol police are feeling kindly). People mob the markets, buying milk, toilet paper and potatoes. (I never understand the potatoes, but this is an actual fact. At the first hint of snow, the potato bins are emptied.) As quickly as it comes, the snow melts, which is handy if you don’t like shoveling.

The perfect winter. Shiver for a brief bit, drink Irish coffee, take steaming baths, light fires, and then it is all over.

You’ve had just enough chill to appreciate spring, which comes suddenly and lavishly, sometimes with everything in bloom at once, roses and wisteria, honeysuckle and tulips.

And the hydrangeas. Oh, please!

Update: They say winter will arrive this weekend. But then, they’ve said this before.

—Stephanie Cavanaugh

LittleBird “Stephanie Gardens” gardens, except when she has her nose in a book.

Green Acre #178: Bring the Spring and Summer Indoors

IT’S WHIPLASH SEASON. As I write this, the icy wind blows, snow showers, and we shiver our timbers, whatever that means. This weekend, they say, it will touch 70 degrees in Washington DC, the air conjuring a whiff of spring, warm and moist with what feels like the last linger of cold air—though frozen tundra season will return, in hours or days.

Wouldn’t it be lovely to spend the winter in a garden that you don’t have to water, prune or fertilize? To sit surrounded by greenery, in a space lushly tropical or in the hush of a forest or a field of poppies with Oz hovering emerald in the background? Not wallpaper, as we’re used to, but a panorama, an encompassing scene. The perfect garden of your fantasy.

You could hire an artist to paint the walls. Time was, impoverished artists roamed the country painting murals—it was cheaper than paper. My grandfather had a fine one of a farmstead painted in the kitchen. It might have been Poland or Kansas or maybe the Bronx—that was 100 years ago or so. The artist was likely paid with room and board.

Today a mural could run into the stratosphere—though you might find a starving artist at an art school. There was, until recently, a delightful French restaurant in Washington’s Adams Morgan neighborhood, La Fourchette, with a wonderful mural of a dining room on the wall that was painted in bits and daubs over a decade in exchange for meals.

Then there are glorious wallpaper murals. Flipping through the January issue of Veranda magazine, there’s a dining room covered in a paper depicting the Napoleonic campaigns in Egypt, or so the caption says. It’s a lush landscape of palm trees and hills with a stone balcony overlooking a pool, no bloody bodies or dead horses in sight. Another home, another mural, this one by artist Florence Girette, of the Tuileries Garden in Paris, as if viewed through a driving rainstorm.

These papers wrap the room, with the occasional doorway or windows punctuating the space. But a single wall would be smashing, like a window on another world.

Bird editor Nancy McKeon, who recently moved back to her New York hometown from Washington, has embellished her apartment foyer with a style of paper known as chinoiserie, depictions of Chinese gardens or townscapes. Hers is a delicate scene of flowering trees and fluttering birds that embraces the room above the wainscoting. As real chinoiserie, like the splendid hand-painted papers from Gracie Studio or de Gournay can easily top $20,000, she found a digital version for about 10% of that from Tempaper, one of a number of companies that offer such classic styles. “It’s removable, like a high-end Contact paper,” she says.) It may be frankly faux, but it will still make you feel like Jean Harlow—just add a gin fizz and negligee.

John Brown has a gaspingly lovely paper in his eponymous jewel box of a home-furnishings store, J. Brown & Co. Home, on King Street in Old Town Alexandria, Virginia. The paper, which he specially commissioned from some woman in Italy, I think—I didn’t write down her name—is $4,000 for a 9-by-16-foot panel. The price I did write down. It perfectly frames the silver and flowers and exquisite china on offer. (By the way, while this is an intimidating place to browse, particularly when carrying a bulging shopping bag, Brown is delighted if you buy a candle. His front window and sidewalk floral displays are beyond fabulous and alone worth a detour—and all of his fantastic Christmas ornaments are now on sale).

That is all far beyond the reach of me, as I appear to have misplaced my mural-painting talent and never possessed such a generous wallet.

What I do have are photos. Wonderful photos of places I’ve been—and would like to return to, some that I’m sorry I ever left.

There’s the street where we briefly lived in Havana, a place with bare electrical wires tangled across the shower and a balcony overlooking the Caribbean, which sprayed over the seawall a block away, sometimes flooding the street. There are the gardens of the Villa d’Este in Tivoli, outside Rome, where fountains burble and water tumbles into dazzling pools surrounded by magnificent trees and topiary. There’s a café in a garden in Paris, where I wouldn’t mind lingering over an eternal café and croissant . . .

You get the picture?

Throwing a dart at the Internet I find Photowall, which is one of several companies that will create murals from your photographs. For around $400 they can enlarge a photo to 15 x 8 feet, the size of my dining-room wall.

Select a high-resolution photo, upload it to their website, give them dimensions and they’ll ship in a couple of days, wallpaper paste included. The reviews for their papers are excellent.

If you haven’t been anywhere, or don’t trust your photographic talent, you can select from stock murals of jungles and gardens from numerous sources besides Photowall. Now all you need is someone to hang the paper.*

Happy New Year!

—Stephanie Cavanaugh

*WARNING: DO NOT HANG WALLPAPER WITH YOUR SPOUSE IF YOU WISH TO REMAIN MARRIED.

LittleBird “Stephanie Gardens” likes to surround herself with plant life even if it’s only on paper. (Fewer plants to water.)

Secondhand, not Second Place

YOU SAY CONSIGNMENT, recycle, thrift, charity or secondhand. I say therapy.

That’s said with some trepidation since one person’s idea of therapy is another person’s pain. But shopping for “gently used” apparel can offer emotional as well as economic rewards.

It’s the pride that comes with the thrill of finding a steal. That on your own, against the odds, you have discovered a favorite brand item marked down enough to convince yourself you can afford it.

It’s hearing people praise your savvy at spotting such a gem.

It’s the congeniality that springs up between strangers trading opinions and helping one another in and out of crowded fitting rooms.

This unusual striped jacket by Issey Miyake is a departure from contributor Ann Geracimos’s usual palette and gray and black. But as a consignment find, why not take a chance, she thought. / MyLittleBird photo.

It’s because your conscience is involved, being in touch with today’s environmental concerns by rescuing clothing that might otherwise end up in the dreaded landfill. Dressed in “pre-loved” fashion marks you as a “cool” citizen of the world.

The market is a multibillion-dollar-a-year industry, with fashion resale alone said to be growing 21 times faster than traditional retail. The stigma once associated with pop-ups and stores dealing in recycled goods is long gone. Smaller, more selective, boutiques thrive as well as lower-end thrift outlets. Consigning has become an art form, donating (“decluttering”), a necessity.

Not that the process is easy. The search takes time and talent, with many pitfalls along the way.

Not long ago, visiting my local consignment store on a whim, I spotted a colorful wool candy-striped Issey Miyake jacket displayed among other designer offerings on a top shelf. It is now a trophy item. I usually loathe stripes; had absolutely no need of a winter jacket; prefer long to short lengths; found its cut unsettling on my frame. But, reader, I was tired of a safe gray-and-black wardrobe; this “outside the box” garment seemed to fill a need I didn’t know I had. Maybe I needed to prove I could take a chance and not mind losing.

ClothesEncountersDC at Washington DC’s Eastern Market, has cultivated a family-friendly atmosphere over the years, building loyalty to make up in warmth what it lacks in physical space. Shopping there is a communal experience. Frequent customers are known by their first name.

Staff watches over toddlers in strollers so moms and nannies can browse. Dogs (and men) are cheerfully accommodated (standing room only). When a longtime customer who loves Edith Piaf stops by, the owner puts on the singer’s music. Clothes left over from seasonal sales are donated to a church pop-up operation that gives them away free to the less fortunate.

“People who have sensory-overload issues can’t stand it here,” says owner Gail Stern, whose professional background is marketing. “They want predictability—to see a style in different sizes. They find variety confusing.” She advises maintaining a love and knowledge of brands to understand when you are getting a bargain; to check how well a garment is finished on the inside if you are unsure. Quality determines price.

“Go not for need but for the game and go often,” urges Charly Shrewsbury, a twentysomething ad hoc buyer and seller in the greater Washington area. “Stake out those stores when you know turnover is greatest, such as a large Goodwill in a relatively upscale neighborhood. Find out when they restock, often the beginning of a week. And look for deal days. Sometimes there are discounts for seniors, or bargains for garments in different colors. Don’t be afraid to offer less than the tag price if you see an item has been on the racks a long time. Small stores need to clear space.”

“Don’t neglect hospital thrift shops and special-event sales. Relatives of the newly deceased may want to empty closets in a hurry,” adds her mentor mother Kate Shrewsbury of Culpeper, Virginia, a veteran retailer of vintage goods whose website, shopeveronward.com, advertises flannel and denim shirts “repurposed” with clever distinctive designs.

Both as buyer and seller, she keeps an eye out for large annual events such as the Annual Ladies Board Rummage Sale that takes place for two days each fall in a horse barn in Leesburg, Virginia, to benefit INOVA Loudoun Hospital and the Ladies Board Nursing Scholarship Fund. Donations begin early in the spring.

Larger for-profit stores as well as non-profit organizations usually have explicit instructions—often online—about how they work. It goes without saying that none deal in anything damaged or stained. Value Village, a self-described global thrift retailer whose slogan is “Shop, Reuse, Reimagine,” even publishes “rules for shopping habits.” Crossroads Trading, a national chain, pledges to pay 30 percent in cash upfront or 50 percent in trade on the spot. Goodwill’s Donation Guidelines list in detail the goods they do not accept.

Secondi, upstairs near Washington DC’s Dupont Circle, requires appointments for consignors and routinely lowers prices each month on unsold items, usually by a third. “Never come on a weekend if you expect any kind of personal service,” says a sales clerk. “Don’t hesitate too long. Quality items tend to go fast.”

It’s a game of chance every time.

—Ann Geracimos

Very-Last-Minute Gifts!

IT’S THE DAY BEFORE Christmas Eve, or the first full day of Hanukkah, with Kwanzaa waiting in the wings. And—true story here—you just now discovered that your sister’s step-daughter’s son’s new mother-in-law will be joining the family around the Christmas tree. Really!? You know nothing about her but her first name.

Or, alternatively, an on-again-off-again relative has suddenly decided to join the festivities.

In either case, one rule applies: Every pair of hands should have at least one gift, no matter how small, to open.

What follows, then, is the challenge: what kind of gift, in what amount of time, with how much information available?

Before we mention specifics, here are some general thoughts. Please feel free to pile on with your own ideas—they could help someone else (or, dare we suggest it, us?).

Tiffany’s, especially if you need to impress someone. It’s not the super-high-end store it used to be, but everyone still lights up at the sight of one of those blue boxes. Be aware, through, that the mother ship on Fifth Avenue and some of the branches we checked will be closing early on Christmas Eve.
Big supermarkets. Chains such as Kings, Whole Foods and Harris Teeter offer far more than food. And many of the candies, fancy hostess napkins, potted plants and other gift ideas are charmingly packaged and eminently presentable.
Williams Sonoma has made a splash for years with “giftable” candies and foodstuffs (in handsome tins and boxes), plus all those gorgeous utensils you would love to indulge in, if only as a gift. (And who can resist that peppermint bark?) Under the Williams Sonoma umbrella, West Elm and Pottery Barn, modern and more traditional, respectively, offer plenty of items in home decor and accessories.
Like Williams Sonoma, Target, the stylish big-box store, and Trader Joe’s also have plenty of spiffily packaged foods and candies and the like. And don’t worry that the price is lower for the gifts from those at these two places: Each of these specialty chains has its own cachet and fervid following.
Liquor stores of a certain size will have a selection of gift sets that will allow you to present a bottle of booze trimmed out with glassware or bar tools or some other gift item. Some on your gift list really want a bottle of that expensive single malt, but others will be happy to fill out their bar with things they might not think to buy.
Drugstores. CVS, Walgreens, in New York Duane Reade—all, like supermarkets, have a wide range of things, especially healthy and beauty gift packages. Great for those you don’t know well.
The uber-focused Container Store is set on organizing and decluttering our lives with everything from makeup organizers to items for clever closet storage.
Even stationery stores can be counted on for things like gift-wrapped notecards and, sometimes, fancy soaps. They won’t necessarily stay open late, though.
Hardware stores! Who can resist them? In the DC area, Strosniders stores are the one-stop shopping spots. On Manhattan’s Upper East Side, it’s Rainbow Hardware. Locally owned Ace and True Value hardware stores are tucked into many neighborhoods all around the country. Housewares, garden stuff, carving sets, candles, wineglasses, tree ornaments—surely if you (or your giftee) need it, they have it.

ABOVE: People you may never see the rest of the year seem to drop in for drinks and munchies this time of year. Reason enough to gift this set of four 3-inch stoneware dishes with cute winter birds clad in multi-colored hats and scarves to be a much-appreciated gift. They’re $4 each at DC’s beloved Periwinkle (3815 Livingston Street NW, 202-364-3076), which is open 10am-6pm Monday, December 23, and Tuesday, December 24.

ABOVE LEFT: The two-year-old, Robert M. Stern-designed Museum of the American Revolution (101 South Third Street, Philadelphia, 215-253-673) is a must-see. And the gift shop has a motherlode of gift items, such as this 8-inch-tall felt ornament of George Washington ($19.99). Choose an appreciative recipient. The museum is open on Monday, December 23, 10am-5pm and on Christmas Eve from 10am to 3 pm.

ABOVE RIGHT: Downtown Philadelphia’s Omoi Zakka (the name means thoughtful, useful sundry goods) has two locations (41 S. Third St. and 1608 Pine St.) in downtown Philadelphia. Whoever receives one (or three) of these ballpoint “I Am A Great Writer” pens ($12 each) will be flattered and inspired. Both stores are open December 23 11am-7pm and Christmas Eve 10am-4pm.

ABOVE: Ah, the little blue box. It can contain diamonds, and it can contain less-pricey things such as, left, this charming silver Return to Tiffany bead bracelet with heart charm enameled in, of course, Tiffany blue. It’s $165. On the right, Tiffany’s Everyday Objects include this pair of coffee-shop “paper cups” in bone china. The gift-boxed pair is $110. Remember, Tiffany’s on Fifth Avenue is open only till 5pm on Christmas Eve; check other stores before heading out.

ABOVE LEFT: Oversize and very impressive-looking, Crayola’s Kids@Work building blocks can be found—surely a few are left—at CVS stores, among other places. It’s hard to land on a price because there seems to be a almost infinite range of sizes—80 blocks, 70 blocks, 40 blocks. Whatever you find will look cheerful and bright.

ABOVE RIGHT: Right up there in the scrumptious category with Williams Sonoma’s Peppermint Bark is its Classic Hot Chocolate ($19.95 for a 12-ounce tin), made from Guittard bittersweet chocolate. Perfect for consuming in cold weather to come. Check the company website for hours of the stores closest to you.

ABOVE: The names of famous novels of the 19th and 20th centuries, along with cookbooks and books like Silent Spring and 1984 cover the the white surface of Ideal Bookshelf’s literary mugs. Gift it to your friend who’s an avid reader or coffee/tea drinker. Each is $14 and available at Politics & Prose in DC (open from 9am to 10pm on Monday, December 23, and 9am to 6pm on Christmas Eve) and Kards Unlimited in Pittsburgh (open from 9:30am to 9pm on December 23, check hours for Christmas Eve.)

ABOVE: These glass and decoupage Dapper Animal Coasters (four for $19.20) will lighten up the cocktail conversation. They’ll also protect surfaces from spills. If you can bear to give them away, the designated giftee will be delighted. Call your local West Elm for availability.

LEFT: Sephora is a cool place for beauty stuff no matter the personality of your recipient. Those who appreciate the tongue-in-well-rouged-cheek may giggle at this gift set of Fresh Couture fragrance from sly fellow Moschino. Two mini eau de toilettes and little spray bottles make a great package, $16 at Sephora stores. (You have to call your local store to learn the holiday hours.)

CENTER: Three mini masks from Fresh stack up to make a wonderful gift. For $25 at Bluemercury shops, you get a Sugar Face Polish, Rose Face Mask and Umbrian Clay Mask. Every Bluemercury store seems to keep its own hours, so call first.

RIGHT: Everyone should wear sunscreen, right? I’ve also heard from a very particular guy that this Shiseido Clear Stick ($28, Sephora) keeps his sensitive skin well protected. Call your local store for hours for December 24.

—Nancy McKeon and Janet Kelly

P.S. I just ran across a hilarious gift that went viral. It’s the Fisher-Price Snack Set for Two, basically a charcuterie board with “cheese,” “salami” to slice, “crackers,” pull-apart “grapes” and faux marble board and plates and a “knife.” The two napkins are apparently made of cloth: One declares “You’re Grape,” the other “Let it Brie.” One online commenter wanted to know “What kind of fancy ass child” has this kind of taste—apparently it’s those “little foodies” on the box, the little boy wearing a bowtie and a little girl gussied up with a beret. The list price is about $20, but for a while it was less on Amazon and more on eBay. I’m not getting it for little kids but for in-laws’ in-laws: I’ll mix in real cheese, salami and maybe a bottle of Bordeaux with the funny faux stuff. Should provide at least a few giggles.

Green Acre #177: Mother Nature Has a Gift for Everyone

DESMOND AND AZALEA von Thistle have invited you to cruise the Caribbean for the holidays. Their boat, a 360-foot custom Lürssen is .89 feet shorter than one built for some Russian oligarch, which irritates them so—but that is neither here nor there.

What on Earth to get them for Christmas?

And, as this year Hanukkah intersects with Christmas, which it does from time to time, Azalea (née Levy) is expecting eight nights of gifts. Oy.

It’s the perennial question, right? What to give those who seem to have everything or, looked at another way, seem to need nothing.

You know, Mother Nature is never at a loss for gifting.

LEFT: Self-watering pots from the MoMA Design Store.
RIGHT: An Alula LED-lighted bonsai from Amazon.

MoMA’s Design Store has these cunning self-watering terracotta pots, which sit in glass containers and allow the jasmines and calamondins to sip at their leisure while you and your hosts bask in St. Barts. $34 to $74.

LEFT: Snowstorm on demand, with a projector from Amazon.
RIGHT: One of several little trees–calamondin, lime, lemon, olive–available from Terrain.

No calamondin? Terrain has miniature bitter-orange trees; the fruit is divine in a whiskey sour. If the von Thistles prefer martinis, a little olive tree will keep them well supplied. Terrain also offers a lime tree for the margaritas and, for a truly knock-their-cashmere-socks-off gift, a pink lemon tree, with fuchsia blooms and pink meat. All of these trees have blossoms so highly scented you could pass out at a sniff. $94 each.

LEFT: Bottle-garden kits from Uncommon Goods. RIGHT: Curly willow branches from Williams Sonoma.

Speaking of drinking. Good lord, their empty champagne bottles do get out of hand, don’t they? Fill them with water and plug the necks with bottle stoppers and seeds from Uncommongoods.com, set them in a sunny spot and grow either a combo of edible Cosmos, Marigold and Zinnia, or a Sweet Basil, Dill, and Parsley combo. $22 per kit, bottle not included.

Orchids are, of course, orchids. Pick one or several full-blown beauties at Trader Joe’s on your Two Buck Chuck run (now $2.99). Desmond and Azalea will never know you dropped less than $30, including a perfectly respectable pot, as they never set foot in a grocery store, except for the occasional slumming in Paris at Fauchon.

Believe it or not, these KFC fire logs, which give your living room the holiday smell of . . . fried chicken, may be sold out already. Exclusive to Walmart.

Show me someone who doesn’t like paperwhite narcissus and I’ll show you someone without a nose. Available at just about any garden center or hardware store, these bulbs are stupidly simple to grow: Put them in a bowl of pebbles, add a little water, and done. (I just stick them in a pot of dirt.) A couple of weeks in a window and they burst into honeyed bloom.

For a bit of unkillable faux twinkle, consider an ALULA Lighted Tree from Amazon. It’s a battery-operated bit of bonsai (you could throw in the batteries) with 108 itty-bitty bulbs on the silvery stems. It would look spectacular on the von Thistles’ buffet table. $17.99; they can ship it to the ship, one supposes. Jeff Bezos not included.

And what’s Christmastime without snow? Amp up the dazzle with an LED snowstorm, also from Amazon. This dazzling, whirling winter storm flurries indoors or out from a tiny projector. $42.99.

Curly willow branches are available in red and green—and natural, like these from Williams Sonoma—usually cut in three-foot lengths. They’re dramatic enough when dried (and will last that way for years), but they’re really spectacular when allowed to leaf out: Just pop a dozen in a vase of water, give them a week or so and poof—a willow tree grows in the yacht’s saloon. Some people manage to root them and keep them alive, but don’t count on it.

Of course, Desmond and Azalea have a fireplace aboard and air conditioning blasting to combat the tropical heat. You could, of course, order them some lovely-smelling logs of cherrywood or hickory, but for a truly rarefied treat, check out the 11 Herbs & Spices Fire Log. Sold exclusively by Walmart (with limited availability), the log fills the air with the delicate scent of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Really. $18.99.

Happy sailing!

—Stephanie Cavanaugh

LittleBird “Stephanie Gardens” thinks everyone, even those on the water, should have plants.

Trim the Tree With Meaning

I LOVE ALMOST all Christmas tree ornaments, even the tackiest of them. That said, I don’t add a lot to my little collection because just buying generic “balls” (unless I have some cockeyed theme in mind) just doesn’t make sense to me. Like most people, I assume, I like to occasionally add something that means something, at least to me or my family.

So this year, to mark my move back to New York, I’m adding the little resin “stack of library books” ornament I found on the New York Public Library site (the Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh offers a onesie that reads #PGHREADS, but I can’t hang that on my tree). And I’m (wishful) thinking that if enough of us hang a Ruth Bader Ginsburg ornament on our trees, or anywhere for that matter, it’ll keep her going.

Here then are some tree ornaments—maybe one of them will have meaning for you.

—Nancy McKeon

TOP LEFT: Chicago enthusiasts, and our numbers are legion, will surely recognize Anish Kapoor’s silvery “coffee bean” sculpture (okay, it’s really called Cloud Gate), large enough to walk under and mirror-y enough to reflect part of the city that surrounds it. The hand-painted “Chicago Bean Daytime Scene” ornament would be a great addition to your favorite Chicagoan’s tree. It’s $25.95 at ornamentshop.com.

BOTTOM LEFT: If you just can’t kick the Starbucks habit you may as well hang these where the world can see. There are a whole bunch of the coffee giant’s ornaments on eBay and Poshmark and elsewhere. In addition, Walmart has mini Starbucks cocoa ornaments, and each little cup contains an ounce of Starbucks cocoa mix. The set of six cups is $14.98 at Walmart.

RIGHT: We do not yet have Harriet Tubman on our currency; doesn’t mean we can’t have her on our tree. The shop at Mount Vernon offers her carrying her lantern to light the way. It’s $14.95 at shops.mountvernon.org.

LEFT: Patience (or is that Fortitude?) has been guarding the Main Reading Room of the New York Public Library since 1911 (though the lions’ nickames have changed several times over the years). The resin Library Lion Ornament can guard your tree for $16, at the library’s site.

RIGHT: More generically bookish (for your book club friends?) is this resin Book Stack Ornament. It’s $9.95, also at the New York Public Library shop’s site.

LEFT: Anyone who has sat in a Paris park or café will recognize the contours of this not-terribly-comfortable but useful Bistro Chair. This one celebrates NewYork’s Bryant Park (behind the main library), is silver-plated metal and is $30 at the park’s shopping site.

RIGHT: Similarly, anyone who has lived in an old house or apartment will no doubt recognize this stamped-metal Steam Heat Ornament, commemorating radiator heat (radiant heat still being the best, most consistent system out there). It’s $19.99 at the shop at New York’s Tenement Museum on the Lower East Side (a terrific place to visit and learn about earlier immigration to this country).

Maybe in reaction to all those craft-beer people out there, I’m thinking how cool your basic Bud is.

LEFT: One of Budweiser’s iconic Clydesdales in parade dress can high-step it across your tree. This fine fellow is $15.98 at Walmart.com.

RIGHT: There’s a ton of Budweiser ornaments out there, but this Kurt Adler company version is officially licensed and has its own fake Christmas lights. It’s made of plastic and is $9.88 on Amazon. Go on, drive your craft-brew friends nuts!

LEFT: This is great: The Boston Pops Orchestra is repurposing old 45rpm vinyl records as tree ornaments. You can support the orchestra, trim the tree and serve up some nostalgia, all at the same time. Each is $8 at the Boston Pops site.

RIGHT: Opera productions have always been expensive, so I guess it stands to reason that the Metropolitan Opera’s silver-plated (over brass) ornament, based on the Opera House’s famous “sputnik” chandeliers, is a bit pricy as well. Four inches across, the sparkle produced by cubic zirconia, the Starburst Chandelier Ornament is on sale for $99.99 at the Opera’s site.

LEFT: Yes, there are RBG action figures and mugs and a documentary, but now RBG fans can have their own Supreme Court Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg Christmas tree ornament. The message? Hang in there! The hand-blown glass ornament is $19.95 at Paper Source.

RIGHT: Angela Lansbury is another stalwart female who deserves space on everyone’s tree. This glass ornament is part of the Broadway Legends series and shows her as Mame (as in “Auntie Mame,” but let’s not forget her dozen TV years as Jessica in “Murder, She Wrote”) and is $65 at the Playbill store. Proceeds benefit Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS.

TOP CENTER: Kaps for Kids upcycles beer-bottle caps into several things, including tree ornaments, and donates 10% of sales to children’s charities. I found ornaments for more than five dozen breweries on the Kaps4Kids.com site, including the Dogfish Head beer ornament shown on the front of MyLittleBird. The one seen above celebrates the Yuengling Brewery, the oldest in the US (established in 1829), and is $24.

LEFT: If you finally managed to see “Hamilton” it may be time to celebrate. Some ornaments feature the Playbill’s cover logo with the silhouetted Hamilton atop the star, and others, like these, have some of the more iconic lyrics from the show. Take a look at everything out there, but know that “I am not throwing away my shot,” as in this glitter ball ($23 in silver glitter), is also written on some very cute shot glasses (get it?).

RIGHT: The goddess Diana, the sculpture by Augustus Saint-Gaudens, surveys the Philadelphia Museum of Art from her perch at the top of the Great Stair Hall. To be used as a tree ornament or a bookmark, the Diana Bookmark Ornament is made of brass plated with gold and is $24 at the museum’s online shop.

LEFT: Surely there’s a wine lover in your life whose bucket list resembles this one: wine and glasses and an ice bucket. Here’s the ornament for him or her. This Noble Gems Glass Red Wine ornament is from the Kurt Adler company (there are many variations out there, though; some include a corkscrew in the list!) and is $14.34 at Amazon.

RIGHT: The official White House Historical Association Christmas ornament for 2019 is this three-dimensional gold-plated-brass helicopter, commemorating President Dwight D. Eisenhower, the first in office to travel this way, in 1957; of course, it’s been a staple of White House life ever since. It’s $22.95 at the Historical Association site.

Yes, there are many Mount Vernon ornaments out there, but this one is amazing. Like a locket, the Mount Vernon Dollhouse Ornament opens to give a fair rendition of the interior of George Washington’s home and is $18.95 at the Mount Vernon online site.

Icons all, from one of my favorite museums, the mighty Met.

LEFT: The unicorn, of course, is from the famous series of 15th-century Unicorn in Captivity tapestries at the Cloisters, part of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Cast in resin, it’s $28 at the Met’s online shop.

CENTER: Then there’s William, the Egyptian hippo, who is something of a mascot for the Met. He’s $28 from the Met shop.

RIGHT: Edgar Degas’s Little Fourteen-Year-Old Dancer is now a resin ornament for the tree, $28 at the Met shop. The museum’s bronze casting is 38 inches tall, and the ornament only 4 inches, and the tutu is resin not fabric . . . but still.

Green Acre #176: Holidays? What Holidays?

O! WHERE ARE those fabulous magazine holiday displays of yesteryear: the towering trees that need to be hoisted into penthouse living rooms; linen-draped dining tables laden with crystal and silver and bunches of holly; fir-festooned railings; fireplace mantels lined with glittery bowls of paperwhite narcissus; indoor gardens of poinsettias; doors, terraces and gardens all jolly with wreaths and lights?

Despite the December dates of this month’s high-end shelter magazines, surprisingly little was holiday driven—a few shiny balls in bowls, sprigs of red berries. So very subtle. This is the time, if ever there is one, to go over the top. It certainly is in my house.

Flipping through these glossy journals you’d think the most wonderful time of the year was, maybe, September.

On House Beautiful’s cover is a kitchen. Veranda presents an overstuffed living room suitable for Sherlock Holmes; just add a pipe. Despite a nod to the season with “Home for the Holidays” splashed across the cover, inside Elle Décor the topic is completely ignored. And Architectural Digest devotes its cover to a dreary, moody-looking living room with a few clutches of inconspicuous white roses.

There are some gift suggestions, though they’re nearly hidden within the pages, as if ashamed of their blatant extravagance. Veranda’s “sunroom bar” features accessories that include a $2,500 Breville espresso machine and a $2,799 sleek stainless faucet for what they call “sparkling tap water,” which is . . . I know not what. Architectural Digest is predictably packed with Things You Do Not Need, such as a $27,560 mattress from Savoirbeds.com, an exceedingly ugly table lamp by Mattia Bonetti for $26,000 and a set of four vintage Chanel tennis balls for $950.

Well, Bah Humbug on that—but that said . . . there does appear to be a heartening backlash to homes devoid of personality, and—dare I say—a welcoming sprinkling of clutter.

Tell me how a home can have personality without . . . things.

The December issue of Veranda heralds, “The Refined Return of Maximalism, Luxe Rooms With Major Personality.” Amen to that.

I am particularly enthralled by their story of a sunroom, walls and ceiling lacquered British racing green, right up to the cunning cupola. This was turned into a wet bar and extra entertaining area for large parties, as it opens off the living room, thus combining two of my favorite things: winter gardens and drinking.

Meanwhile, House Beautiful features the New York apartment of home-furnishings impresario John Rosselli. The flat, in a 19th-century building several blocks from the home he shares with his wife, designer Bunny Williams, is where he stores his collections, a trove that includes “everything from 19th-century Chinese porcelain, to animal-head walking sticks, to miniature landscapes.”

Talk about maximalism: He needed a second apartment for his overflow.

The photographs show layer upon layer of stuff, played against a backdrop that might make many sneeze but fills me with (you should pardon the expression) joy. Of course I was instantly smitten, as we share a taste for such items as antique crewel curtains and leopard-velvet-cushioned dining chairs. Not to mention mountains of books.

Also featured in the issue is the Wyoming home of Christian Burch and his partner John Frechette, inveterate scavengers, who’ve packed their home with finds from rummaging across country (selling the excess at three local shops). It’s an . . . interesting . . . combination of fine art mixed with curiosities such as an antique bank vault and a truly ghastly 1950s mustard-yellow crushed-velvet sofa. Burch never frets about his buying whims “. . . if I like it it’s going to work.” Well . . . work for him anyway.

If you’ve already given away the Baccarat flutes, the grandma’s silver service for 12 and the Sèvres custard pots, it’s time for some shopping. Maybe Burch picked them up on his last swing to the East.

Chins up! Next month spring will be just around the corner and we can once again devote ourselves to tulips and blackspot.

Meanwhile, we’re on our own for holiday decorating.

—Stephanie Cavanaugh

LittleBird “Stephanie Gardens” finds inspiration where she can and complains when she can’t. Fair enough.

Lights, Camera . . . More Lights!

‘TIS THE SEASON to decide between tasteful and trashy. Trashy often wins, cuz, well, it’s just a month, right? Okay, counting back to Halloween, it’s more like three months . . . but who’s counting? Why decorate with the ever-so-subtle white-light tree when you can blast LEDs in all colors around the room?

But public venues and their deep-pocketed corporate sponsors have taken up the burden of Christmas overkill, in all its wondrous wonder. So if we don’t feel the obligation to glam up our own houses/apartments/pickup trucks/front and back yards (unlike our beloved LittleBird “Stephanie Gardens,” she of the peacock feathers and glitter), we can rely on such entities as Bank of America (BofA Winter Village at New York’s Bryant Park) and MassMutual Pittsburgh (Ice Rink at PPG Plaza—there’s a twofer for you).

Installations we wrote about last year—the Pittsburgh ice rink, the Phipps Conservatory gardens, Longwood Gardens’ light extravaganza, Philadelphia’s BlueCross RiverRink Winterfest and DC’s Georgetown Glow—are up and running again this year. But we thought an update was in order, so we found a few more places worth sharing, including a few on the quieter side.

Shopping malls try to rise to the occasion, conjuring shows like “Ice!” at Gaylord National on the Potomac River in Maryland, wherein they haul ice carvers from Harbin, China, to illustrate, this year, the Dr. Seuss story “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas,” because who wouldn’t want to relive the story’s charm at a chilly (okay, freezing!) 9 degrees? (Not a typo.)

New Yorkers have long relied on major retailers to mark the hols—a lot of people stumble and call the annual Thanksgiving parade “the Macy’s Day Parade.” Lord & Taylor, which many years ago started the Christmas display-window competition with its charming animated holiday scenes, closed its Fifth Avenue mothership last year, ceding the (very expensive) battle for eyeballs to others. Bergdorf Goodman has always veered toward glamour and sophistication, not warm hearths with Ma and Pa in their nightclothes, and has produced a video to show the care and artisanship that go into their windows. (You can find it on Youtube.) Saks Fifth Avenue opened its “Frozen 2”-theme windows by virtually painting the facade of its Fifth Avenue HQ with LED lights that awed the opening-night crowds (but you can wander past at any time and see them).

DC Georgetown Glow

Just another shout-out to this free exhibit in its sixth year on display around the Georgetown neighborhood of Washington DC. A lot more restrained than some of the holiday extravaganzas out there, it’s more an artistic light installation than a kiddie delight. But there’s wit and wonder here too. The Georgetown Business Improvement District, which presents the Glow, offers addresses and a downloadable map on its site.

The lights will glow every night from 5 to 10pm through January 5, 2020. Various locations throughout Georgetown, Washington DC.

Philadelphia Zoo “LumiNature”

While you’re wandering around the extravagant lighting displays of LumiNature, presented by Chase, with Hilton as a partner, the zoo’s inhabitants are tucked away asleep in their dens and lairs. Which allows a 21-foot lighted snake, a 35-foot-tall polar bear and a whole bunch of pink flamingoes (and other exhibits) to take over and dazzle. This is a timed ticketed event, open from 4:30pm till 10:30pm, with the last entry at 8:30pm. Tickets range from $19 to $24, with kids under 2 being free. Through January 5, 2020.

Philadelphia Zoo, 3400 West Girard Avenue, Philadelphia 19104; philadelphiazoo.org.

Bank of America Winter Village in Philadelphia

Winter Village touts its appeal as an authentic German Christmas market, so the Love Park event is open only through Christmas Eve. There are more than 80 vendors selling all manner of European festival foods plus crafts and ornaments and gifts. The event is presented by Bank of America, but the Philadelphia Museum of Art, the Franklin Institute and the center-city parks council, along with others, are also sponsors and partners.

Christmas Village 2019, Love Park, 1500 Arch Street, Center City Philadelphia 19102; philachristmas.com. From 11am through 7 or 8pm, depending on the day, until 5pm on Christmas Eve.

Bank of America Winter Village at Bryant Park in New York

These corporate sponsors ain’t shy: They often put their name first. The Winter Village behind the main branch of the New York Public Library isn’t really about lights. But it is about skating for free, most nights up until 11pm, at the only “free admission ice skating rink” in the city (if you don’t have your own skates, you can pay to rent theirs). Remember that you have to reserve your time slot. It’s also about shopping—the same European foods, as in Philadelphia and Baltimore, plus handcrafts and other gifts. The shops are there through January 5, 2020. The skating rink is open through March 1, 2020.

Note: There is also a Christmas Village in Baltimore, 501 Light Street, Baltimore; same hours as Philadelphia and also through Christmas Eve.

Green Acre #175: ‘Tis the Season to Be Glittery

DECORATING THE HOUSE for the holidays was a debate this year, as Baby and her Personal Prince Pete are cooking my grandbaby, a boy they say, though they haven’t divulged the name—leave them one surprise, they say. Rocky, as we’re temporarily calling him, is due December 28, which is rather disruptive, and may mean a premature dash to Raleigh, North Carolina, where they live—just out of the immediate clutches of family.

The day after Thanksgiving, My Prince levitated to the attic, which is reached via a hatch in the bathroom closet and involves climbing the shelves and stepping on the towels. From there he dropped box after box of ornaments down to my eager hands.

I am thankful, in particular, for the abundance of glitter stems, feathers, bird, and butterfly ornaments we’ve managed to amass over the years. There are silvery stems that resemble feathers, coils that look like sea urchins, strands that fan out and others that spring about like curly noodles. Some are silver, some are gold.

Last year Baby added an 8-foot boa of ostrich and peacock feathers to top the mantel—we’d seen one on a trip to New Orleans and she managed to find the maker. Birds with dazzling plumage perch here and there, glittery butterflies flit about, and tea lights hide in small lanterns. Tiny white lights, the size of mouse droppings, flicker amid the feathers.

In this house, the Christmas tree, which must graze the nine-foot ceiling, does double duty as a Hanukkah bush and so is topped with a red-and-gold jester waving a marotte*. This is a 37-year bone of contention between my goy-toy and me, as he insists a star should top the tree, but that is neither here nor there.

We also employ mountains of greenery and lights for tabletops, vases, the banister and the window boxes, for which the Prince is trundled off to the local hardware emporium and seasonal Christmas tree purveyor. There he scavenges cut branches that were trimmed from the bottoms of the fir and pine trees being bound up for buyers. Such places are happy to load you down with them—free—as I discovered some years ago, considering it all trash.

But floral wire, ribbons and secateurs are all that are needed to turn those branches into swags and wreaths and such—have you priced a garland recently?

Anyway, he hauled home enormous fans of greenery, which are particularly fabulous in the window boxes, nearly spanning the width of the five boxes that fill our front windows, three upstairs and two down.

Just one fan was needed to dangle down the front of each box and a second to stand in the rear, creating a dramatic backdrop for glittering stems popped here and there among the existing ornamental cabbages and pansies. Wired to each is a big purple satin bow to match the front door.

(There is no reason to abandon window boxes for the winter; there’s always something jolly you can plonk in to fill the dirt).

It cost not a dime to deck the house for the holiday season. Well, I take that back. As always, there were several sets of tasteful white lights that mysteriously died in their cartons in the attic and needed replacement. I do not know why this happens.

And there was a 50-yard roll of glittery turquoise ribbon stamped with a pattern of gilded peacock feathers that I just had to have.

* Says Wikipedia, a marotte, a fine word I’ve just learned, “is a prop stick or scepter with a carved head on it. Jesters usually used a marotte. The word is borrowed from the French, where it signifies either a fool’s (literal) “bauble,” or a fad/craze.”

LittleBird “Stephanie Gardens” will use any excuse to scatter glittery stuff around. And who can blame her?