Lifestyle & Culture

More Stuff

November 28, 2019



JEFF BEZOS is the richest man in the world because everyone buys stuff from Amazon, which he owns. That means that Jeff gets a cut of every purchase. Let’s say it’s just a penny or two. There are so many people buying so much stuff, it adds up to billions and billions before you can say “nobody needs all this stuff.”

A recent New York Times reported on the growing problem of Amazon package deliveries in Manhattan. The UPS and FedEX trucks are clogging the streets, clogging midtown and slowing traffic in some highly residential areas to  a crawl, even slower than an overweight jogger can jog. Sidewalks are being used as loading docks making it difficult for pedestrians to get by. Packages are piled high outside of apartment buildings, tempting thieves and thus increasing the crime rate.

The article states that, “Amazon did not respond to a request for comment on the impact of its deliveries on growing congestion in New York.” I guess all the low-level drones were too busy stuffing stuff into boxes, and the executives were too busy counting their money that they would eventually spend on more stuff.

I buy a lot of stuff from Amazon. Stuff is anything that’s not food, water, clothing or shelter. In the past six months I purchased the following from Amazon:

Men’s Briefs (too big but they’ll shrink or he might put on weight)
Moist Heat Eye Compress (used three times, not helpful, discarded)
Bedroom Slippers (hole in toe within months, discarded)
Fancy Wax Candles (burned and now they are gone)
Five books (gifts, who knows if they ever got read)
Coconut Shell Charcoal Water Filters for my coffee pot (Coffee tastes no different)
Pair of sneakers (I already had a pair)
Pop-up Sponges (fun, but they sell them nearby)
Toilet Brush and Holder (forgot I had three of these already and so threw one away)
Therapeutic Water Pillow (defective, returned it)
Cheese Selection (gift, but they could have bought their own cheese)
Raised Cat Food Bowls (Cat refused to eat out of them, now junk in the garage)
Pepperidge Farm cookies (sent to my sister at her request and now she is in intensive care due to an exploded colon which had to be removed in its entirety)
Hot Mustard (husband doesn’t eat it, “not hot enough”)
Oatmeal (sent to a sick friend who “can’t digest it” because it contains flax seeds)
KitKat Candy Gift Box (sent to same sister and contributed to same exploded colon)

At least none of that stuff was delivered to New York City, so at least I don’t have to feel guilty about all the traffic.

—Andrea Rouda

Andrea Rouda blogs at The Daily Droid

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