Top off your look, from left to right: Clare V.’s Oui hat, Lilly Pulitzer’s vibrant print and Free People’s self-tie Bow Peep.

By Janet Kelly

WE’RE CELEBRATING “take-me-out-to-the-ballgame” season with a post on baseball caps.

In addition to “’tis the season,” what spurred our interest was a recent Major League Baseball (MLB) story on the history of the headwear. The “quintessential piece of a ballplayer’s uniform,” it was also an “egalitarian wardrobe accessory” for everyone from taxi cab drivers to rock stars. Baseball’s first official team, the New York Knickerbockers, who formed in 1845, didn’t wear hats at all until four years later, when they began sporting straw hats. By the late 1850s, though, players were donning something much closer to what we think of as a baseball cap—a crown with a bill that comes out just one direction instead of all the way around and keeps the sun out of the team’s eyes—to catch fly balls more easily.

The everyman hats enjoyed a popularity boost— plus, a touch of opulence—when father and son, Logan and Kendall Roy, wore their Loro Piana cashmere caps (whispered wealth) on several episodes of HBO’s hit show Succession.

As for the MyLittleBird team, we’re not too rich for hats with prints, logos or bows—we wear them for functional and stylish reasons. For example, my white, swoosh-adorned Nike cap (along with sunglasses and a lotta sunscreen) protects my face from getting burnt during tennis clinics. Our amazing managing editor, Nancy McKeon, wears her hat and her hood in the rain to trap her hair and keep it from “going nuts,” while Late Dates writer Grace Cooper puts on hers for dog walking, pickleball and running out to the grocery store—to hide bedhead, thinning hair and protect against “skin cancer with that big visor.”

On the subject of bills/visors: If they interfere with how you’re seeing, they can be a hindrance. A 2014 NIH study says a big brim can affect visual perception and that—ahem—older people should be aware they could be a falling hazard.

So, forewarned is forearmed when choosing a baseball cap. Here are some of our favorites:

Photo courtesy of HBO.

Kendall Roy’s (Jeremy Strong) luxe but boring  Loro Piano cashmere cap ($525) reflects his family’s outlook on designer logos and any sort of display of wealth.

Channel the glamour of the French Riviera in its heyday with Fendi’s foulard hat. Speaking of subtle luxe, the cap is made of silk in a trompe-l’oeil print of interlocking FF’s and a coordinating soft leather visor. The beige combo is sold out; the green (above) and the black versions sell for a heady $650.

From Helen Kaminski, known for modern, stylish designs and using the finest raffia (from Madagascar), comes this cap ($210) with a full-coverage—UPF 50+—canvas brim (4.7 inches wide), an elastic inner band and an adjustable back-buckle strap.

If you’re in search of serious sun protection, look no further than sun-protective clothing company Coolibar, which has received the Skin Cancer Foundation’s Seal of Recommendation. The Olivia Convertible Sun Visor comes with a UPF 50+ rating, sliding side panels in the brim for adjustable coverage, an internal sweatband and an anti-glare under brim to reduce reflecting glare. It sells for $49.

This Bow Peep cap combines a baseball hat design with a quilted flower pattern and self-tie bow at the back for a fun, feminine interpretation of the classic. It’s $30 at Free People.

Wrapped in a signature Lilly Pulitzer vibrant print, the Run Around Hat ($38) is the kind of  topper to wear when you want to hide your uncombed hair, tip down the brim to cover your still-sleepy eyes and hurriedly head out of the house knowing that your summery cap will make amends for all.

MyLittleBird often includes links to products we write about. Our editorial choices are made independently; nonetheless, a purchase made through such a link can sometimes result in MyLittleBird receiving a commission on the sale. We are also an  Amazon Associate.

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From left to right: Shiv in her hippie, liberal days wearing a Fair Isle sweater and Birkenstocks; Gerri with a glare that matches her severe Brooks Brothers suit; and Shiv transformed into elegant business exec in an Altuzarra suit with a cowl-neck blouse by Lafayette 148, stilettos and gold jewelry. Understated, expensive and ready to do battle for her right to the throne. / Photos courtesy of HBO. 

By MyLittleBird Staff

AND THERE you have it: Succession has wrapped. Whether it was inspired by King Lear, Rupert Murdoch, or Donald Trump—or a fictionalized mashup of all three (or none at all!)—we had a swell time deconstructing the show and its whiplash dialogue. (Janet recently discovered the joy of closed-caption TV after she realized she was missing a lot of Roman’s snarky quips.)

For four seasons, the family we loved to hate took us briefly away from our real-world problems. MyLittleBird staffers Janet Kelly, Nancy McKeon, and Kathy Legg enjoyed the sturm und drang, but really had the most fun dissecting the wardrobes of the female characters in this drama about the rich and the ruthless.

Photo by Macall Polay/HBO

Nancy: This to me is Shiv Roy at her best: monochromatic, pulled-together, minimal accessorizing. The subtlety is what allows luxurious fabrics and tailoring to be the stars. (But haven’t men taught us that the jacket should really be unbuttoned while seated?)

Janet: I couldn’t agree more. Turtlenecks and tailored suits are Shiv’s most flattering look. Gray may be my least favorite shade, but Shiv’s red hair and blue eyes light it up. According to Succession’s Instagram account, the Emporio Armani blazer with a chevron micro pattern is $1,025 and the Giorgio Armani sleeveless top is $1,025. The trousers are sold out. In case you were interested.

Kathy: Okay, Shiv does look swell, but I still hate her. I hated them all. And they certainly seemed to hate each other, understated luxury aside. I doubt people in their rarefied income bracket even pick out their own clothes. Really can’t picture them in Bloomingdale’s.

Photo by Graeme Hunter/HBO

Nancy: Okay, Shiv, what were you thinking? Mackage is known for “luxury outerwear,” and this trench-puff combo (“Maxine,” plaid front, puffer back, still available, $1,190) did look interesting when I saw it online, but really, it looks like the dog’s dinner here. And that “signature Mackage collar,” here rendered in a puff of orange (as opposed to the rear panel of tan puffage) really doesn’t help. To be fair, actress Sarah Snook was pregnant IRL during Season 4, so camouflage was the name of the game for a while.

Janet: I’m thinking Shiv was trying to stay warm in the wilds of Norway, but even though she’s pregnant, the choice of this “ungepatchke” (Yiddish for overly busy) coat is not what we expect of Shiv this late in the game. In comparison, Tom’s puff jacket, in the background, looks svelte. Lukas Matsson and and his crew wearing just turtlenecks and vests appear to have the upper hand in this culture clash.

Kathy: Ha ha ha ha! This coat is ridiculous. Luxury? More lunacy, to my way of thinking. I think the joke is on Shiv.

Photo by Peter Kramer/HBO

Janet: Oh, what a difference a season makes. Shiv has switched from those Fair Isles to her signature close-fitting turtlenecks. And her hair is cut in a more business-like straight bob. She’s now in the running.

Nancy: There’s a lot of black clothing on Succession, with good reason. Especially in luxury fabrics, it really does a number. The show featured a lot of monochromatic looks in darkish neutrals. Again, in the right fabric and correct tailoring, the message is: Rich!

Kathy: No one ever goes wrong with a black turtleneck. Fortunately, you don’t even have to be rich to find a decent one. Beautifully cut red hair is quite another matter, however. Can we pause for a minute and just admire that luscious color?

Photo by Macall B. Polay/HBO

Nancy: Gerri Kellman (played by J. Smith-Cameron) has reason to give Kieran Culkin’s Roman Roy this appraising glare in Season 4, and she looks polished as usual. But what surprised me was that behind the ladylike knot earring on her right ear were two additional piercings, a thin, tiny hoop in each. I just didn’t figure her for it.

Janet: If looks could kill . . . But, who could blame Gerri for being mad as hell at being fired awkwardly, by of all people—Roman! But she’s keeping her cool at Connor’s wedding in a better-fitting, more elegant version of her usual austere black business attire.

Photo by Peter Kramer/HBO

Janet: While you’ve got it, flaunt it. And midway through Succession’s first season, Marcia had the ear—and shared the bed—of Logan Roy. Here she looks very much the queen of the king’s castle on Fifth Avenue. Her fortunes plummeted later on in the series, but she did have the last laugh when she sold the manse to Connor for a much-inflated price.

Nancy: To my mind, second wife Marcia (actress Hiam Abbass) doesn’t need any more than the bling on her earlobes and the glitter on her wrist. They set off the lush fabric quite nicely, thank you, and signaled the self-confidence we viewers knew she had in spades.

Kathy: Marcia did seem the classiest of them all. She definitely earned that jewelry.

Photo courtesy of HBO

Nancy: A lot of online fun has been had at the expense of this ginormous Burberry structured bag and the not-for-long girlfriend of Cousin Greg. In fact, the obsequious/odious Tom Wambsgans probably started the whole thing off by riffing rather remorselessly on the poor girl. Tom (played by British actor Matthew Macfadyen) wonders aloud what she might have hidden in it; I think the clue to her cluelessness is that this is probably her only “trophy” bag and she schlepped it to what was essentially a cocktail party in an effort to show that she belonged in the moneyed crowd. Not so much, I’m afraid. And in that sense, mission accomplished.

Janet: The rich are different—they have more money—in the Roys’ case, a whole lot more money. Taking a briefcase-like bag that screams its label to a family birthday party is apparently an unpardonable sin in these rarefied realms. It’s the opposite of their stealth-wealth philosophy. But Greg’s date makes it worse by pairing it with a busy floral dress. The biggest faux pas of all is that she dares to take a selfie with Logan. BTW, the check tote is now marked down to $1,734 from $2,890 at Bloomingdale’s.

Kathy: I ached for this poor character, but not being a huge Burberry fan I can’t imagine why she would buy the bag in the first place. If a trophy bag was the goal, the same money could have purchased something smaller and more tasteful. Oh, god! Am I beginning to sound like a Roy?

Photo courtesy of HBO

Janet: Not only does British actress Annabelle Dexter-Jones have the best haircut on the series, she also has the best wardrobe. Here’s she’s wearing Tom Ford sunglasses, Sophie Buhai pearl-drop earrings with a Proenza Schouler tank top and wide-leg pants, both of which are sold out. While she was dating Kendall, she wore a simple white knit cardigan and matching pants, also from Proenza Schouler, as well as a black Celine jacket with gold buttons. All in the stealth-wealth column.

Nancy: An Italian friend (male) once told me that all a woman needed in order to look chic was lipstick and a pair of sunglasses. I think he could have added these earrings. Having a swanlike neck helps, of course. Sigh.

Kathy: Love those earrings. The haircut too. Throw in the sunglasses as well. This character has it all. Except for Kendall. For that she should count her lucky stars.

Photo by Graeme Hunter/HBO

Nancy: A daytime outdoor wedding requires a garden-party dress, and I guess this number qualifies. Grazia magazine tagged it as a Ted Baker London confection, and, while it was clearly tailored to actress Snook’s form, it does her no favors and, as Grazia asked, Why is she wearing a $300 dress to her billionaire mother’s wedding, when brother Roman, walking next to her, probably paid that for his shirt alone? (And personally, I don’t like all the boobage cuts that are out there. I really don’t think they’re as flattering as those wearing them seem to think.)

Janet: And why is she wearing a white dress in the first place? To note her disapproval of her mother and her mother’s marriage? The whole getup reminds me of the dowdy and ill-fitting outfits worn to weddings by members of the British royal family.

Kathy: I don’t get this dress either. It looks so pedestrian. And so unrich. As Nancy points out, it isn’t Shiv at her best.

Photo by Macall B. Polay/HBO

Janet: Shiv’s Tom Ford blazer with a lock as a clasp and chain-neck halter top is fabulous, but neither afternoon wedding nor death-announcement appropriate. (Midway through Connor’s nuptials, she and Kendall learned that Logan had died.)

MyLittleBird often includes links to products we write about. Our editorial choices are made independently; nonetheless, a purchase made through such a link can sometimes result in MyLittleBird receiving a commission on the sale. We are also an  Amazon Associate.

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By Mary Carpenter

“WHEN a wound doesn’t heal, something else is going on,” Jule Crider, past executive director of an association of wound care specialists, told MyLittleBird.

So that patients don’t have to “schlep around” from one specialist to another, Crider explained, wound centers bring together teams of physicians who can select and provide the best treatments—such as hyperbaric oxygen (HBO), negative pressure therapy, surgery, medication —because each individual’s non-healing, or chronic, wound is different. The teams can include foot and ankle surgeons, orthopedic surgeons, plastic surgeons and vascular specialists, along with specialists in limb salvage and wound care.

A wound typically becomes “chronic” after 30 days without measurable improvement or 90 days without complete healing—or when healing begins and then stalls, commonly between two to four weeks after the initial injury, said Crider. The “gray areas” that occur at these points can be difficult for most physicians to recognize or treat.

The “art and science of wound care” involves a combination of detective work—asking all the important questions—along with hands-on attention, and both can be time-consuming for a busy general practitioner, explained Crider. Chronic wound care can also require specialized tools and supplies not commonly found in doctors’ offices.

But because wound centers may not always be well known in their communities, many physicians initiate treatment without having the resources to provide the best option— for example, podiatrists who are trained to treat only below the ankle.

Chronic wounds most commonly start as ulcers but can begin with something benign like a blister. A surprisingly frequent, problem-causing wound occurs from tripping over the dishwasher door—linked to diminished balance, vision and ambulation that can occur with aging, said Crider.

That underlying “something else” mentioned by Crider is most often diabetes, peripheral artery disease (PAD) or obesity—especially in combination and especially in those with tissue-thin skin that tears easily and heals slowly. In adults ages 65 and older, diabetes and/or PAD occur in close to 20%—as well often as inadequate nutrition, poor hydration and decreased immunity.

On the other hand, even among people who are younger, healthy, active, non-smokers, with no vascular disease, and not obese, two to three percent end up with wounds that fail to heal in 30 days, Jule Crider said.

A wound begins to heal seconds after injury—starting with hemostasis that stops blood flow with the creation of a clot, which both plugs the wound and creates a provisional matrix. The next three phases, which can overlap, are inflammation, proliferation and tissue remodeling— with the final phase taking as long as a year.

The first steps in early wound treatment are cleaning with soap and running water, applying antibiotic ointment and covering with a bandage, plus using pressure to stop any bleeding. For a wound that is large, deep, won’t stop bleeding or is on the face or over a joint, stitches can speed healing but must be done in the first eight hours after the injury—before bacteria has a chance to enter and before the body’s own healing response begins.

Common signs that a wound is becoming infected include nearby skin becoming redder or more painful, or the wound becoming warm, swollen or oozing. More serious indicators are chills, fever over 100 degrees and red streaks near the wound.

Moisture-retentive dressings help keep wounds hydrated and enhance the migration of healthy cells to the site—a reversal from the older belief in keeping wounds dry. “Desiccation,” when a scab or crust forms over the wound site, can impede healing, as can infection and swelling.

Another important “standard care” tool is debridement—controlled removal of dead or unhealthy skin to provide a clean surface for healing. For chronic wounds, debridement can keep the wound in “active” stage —as if reminding the body to do more healing—or jumpstart the process. Other tools in “standard care” are pressure stockings to improve circulation and skin grafts.

Hyperbaric oxygen can help heal “from the inside out,” according to the University of Rochester’s Strong Wound Healing Center website —especially useful for younger patients based on health status and other factors, and for locations without a wound care center. The pressurized chambers, usually located in hospitals, can increase the concentration of oxygen in the blood, which can help reduce swelling, fight infection and build new blood vessels to improve circulation.

But HBO can be cumbersome because it requires series of treatments, often five times a week for four to six weeks. In the case of post-surgery wounds, some experts believe the best results occur when HBO is used right away, though national guidelines mandate waiting 30 days. But others caution against the overuse of HBO and recommend it only as a last resort to avoid amputation, and only in combination with other methods to achieve complete healing.

Medications to thin the blood or to relax the blood vessels can also help, especially for older patients, when the body’s “plumbing is clogged up enough,” says Crider.  And negative-pressure wound therapy, using a vacuum pump to create suction, can remove excess fluid from the wound.

But not all wounds will heal, warns Crider—especially in those patients with more serious underlying conditions. These wounds get to maximum healing and, after that, require palliative care.

Mary Carpenter regularly reports on topical issues in health and medicine.

By Janet Kelly

I DON’T know a lot about music but I do know that I loved Tina Turner. Sure, I grew up on the Beatles and The Rolling Stones, but in my mid-to-late 30s and long after, it was Tina who was singing to me. While I was watching the news coverage today, tears came to my eyes for this woman whom I knew only–or mostly—from the 2021 documentary on her life. I knew about her troubled childhood, how Ike lured her in when she was a teenager and then abused the hell out of her and used her to launch his own career. And then how she left and started out on her own with only her name and a gas card to her credit. But, you’ve heard the same stories.

So, what was it about her? The way she moved, her fabulous legs and amazing hair, her deep voice, yes. How could we not admire her pure grit and tenacity? But it was more than that—when you saw her perform, you knew she was giving you every bit of her big heart. What did love have to do with it for her? Everything.

If you don’t understand what I’m talking about, do yourself a favor and go see Tina: The Tina Turner Musical; it’s rolling around the country from Salt Lake City at the end of May 2023 to Milwaukee at the end of July 2024, with lots of stops in between.

By Grace Cooper

To listen while reading, “Don’t Wait Too Long” by Madeleine Peyroux.

BOUNDARIES, like fences, make for better relationships, or so relationship experts assure us is true. Healthy boundaries in our closest relationships, perhaps counterintuitively, bring us closer to one another ultimately. 

Recently my beau and I spent a week visiting one of my favorite cousins and her husband in their spa-likeTucson home. The men were off together one morning, working on their “bromance,” bonding over a shared love of snarky humor and the inanity of world politics. My cousin and I were deep into a discussion of our favorite topic—intimate relationships. 

Long married, my sweet, quiet cousin was filling me in on the state of her 40-year union with her gregarious and garrulous French-born husband. 

“It was rough at the start,” she said, shaking her head. L wanted to argue about everything, even in public. I hate arguing and am intensely private. I was sure it meant he did not love me and we were headed for an early divorce. But then one of his French relatives gave me a book (Cultural Misunderstandings: The French-American Experience by Raymonde Carroll) to read about French couples and how they relate best to one another.”

Cultural differences—in this case the French tendency to argue with loved ones—is considered a sign of devotion to one’s union. The rationale is that when you’re secure in your love for one another, you are empowered to freely hash out the day-to-day marital irritations that, swept under the rug, will fester and grow. What’s more, arguing in public is a demonstration to others that you are a secure duo. 

I’ll admit that in my own 28-year marriage, no complaint of mine could be voiced gingerly enough that it wouldn’t send my husband into a furious tizzy, followed by three days of the “silent treatment.” How splendid it would be to safely speak my mind, I used to think, and have a respectful resolution to our issues. Even when in year 20, after our marital counselor advised me to leave him immediately, it was still another seven years before I could pull the trigger on a divorce. I’d grown accustomed to stony silence akin to the uneasy détente between two countries sitting on an arsenal of nuclear weaponry. 

And so eventually divorced, I set about learning a new way of relating in all my closest relationships. Eight years of psychotherapy later, I found my voice and can’t imagine being silenced ever again. Similarly, my beau of one year was previously in a long marriage of similar unspoken agony. He told me a story recently, of the gradual, yet obvious symptoms of a marriage in a death spiral. “Did you two ever question why?” I inquired. 

“No, we never talked so it wasn’t discussed,” was his rueful reply. 

I get it, but that also might explain his wide-eyed shock on all the occasions I let him know, in real time, and in great detail, all the little ways he might step up his game, or retreat gracefully, if he really wants to please me, as he claims he does. 

For instance, he’s messy and spontaneous, and a bit manic in a scattered way. I’m borderline OCD and deliberate. He’s into unsyncopated jazz. I like indie folk with meaningful lyrics. I’m the kind who can’t leave for one of his many suggested out-of-town adventures until I’ve paid my bills, cleaned my house, ironed everything in the basket and changed the sheets. He’d prefer spontaneity. I like to come home to a peaceful, tidy space . . . is that so bad?

Recently, during a long drive home from another week away, I outlined a plan that might give each of us a peaceful way to negotiate our differences—boundaries. Immediately he protested the terminology. 

‘’What an awful word. It sounds hostile and makes me think of what countries go to war to maintain!” he opined. 

Still I persisted. (Thank you, RBG).

Healthy boundaries means that you value your own needs enough that you won’t overcommit to each other in a way that breeds resentment . . . and exhaustion.

“Give me an example,” he requested. 

“A few days all to myself,” I suggested.

“Are you mad at me about something?” he inquired, his voice rising with anxiety.

I was not yet angry with anyone other than myself for always agreeing to “the fun stuff’,”even to the point that I was often losing myself in this relationship. Been there, done that, can’t do it again. 

So, I reassured him that I needed time to prepare my overdue taxes, pay my bills, write, read a bit, enjoy a night out the girlfriends . . . or simply experience the serenity of my own tidy and quiet home . . . alone with my thoughts.

He said he was disappointed, but he would honor my boundary—until 12 hours later when he suggested he come over that evening with takeout so together we could watch the coronation concert on my TV. 🙈

I need to work on my boundary communication skills with him, it seems. 

Back to my sweet cousin and another story she told me. She and her husband were in the hot tub one evening, laughing and enjoying being together until suddenly she had an intrusive thought: “We aren’t laughing about the same things. We may never have been on the same page. We are doomed!”

She quickly pulled herself out of that dark mood, yet the doubt about his devotion to her remained. But on a subsequent vacation in Hawaii a few months later, something happened that changed all that. Hiking along a narrow mountain trail, my cousin stepped aside to the edge of the trail to let another hiker pass her. Suddenly the ground broke away and she found herself falling over the side. Clinging for dear life to vines, fearing that any second she might fall into the ravine, she locked eyes with her husband as he scrambled to pull her back to safety.

“He looked terrified,” she said. “In that brief moment I knew he really did love me! And that has made all the difference.”

A few moments later, a bit shaken, they continued down the trail to their destination. 

Relationships are tricky and communication is often hard, but the alternative is a slow erosion of faith that ultimately you’ll reach that place of love we all need to survive and thrive together. 

—Grace Cooper (a nom de plume) left her long marriage more than a decade ago, and with it went all sense of her identity—but not for long. Now 68, she has begun chronicling her tales of looking for love in all the wrong places, and unexpectedly finding herself.

MyLittleBird often includes links to products we write about. Our editorial choices are made independently; nonetheless, a purchase made through such a link can sometimes result in MyLittleBird receiving a commission on the sale. We are also an  Amazon Associate.

Details make the difference. Clockwise from left, an abstract, artful scarf from J. McLaughlin, sunnies from Italian brand Glare, J. Crew’s rope tote and a vibrant belt from Lizzie Fortunato.

By Janet Kelly

LAST WEEK I asked if your summer uniform of all black or combinations of black and white had stayed the same over the past several years. I wondered whether you had changed it up and how. The answer from many of you was that it had and it was not, er, all black and white, but mostly white.

Nancy in New Jersey switches to a “predominantly white wardrobe, at least on the bottom, by late spring.”

It’s just a mood brightener, although I have a pair of black jeans on the boat as a staple . . .  This year though, I keep looking at white dresses. There’s gonna be the perfect one for me soon on my feed. I just know it. I already have a great white denim skirt that I’ve had a few seasons, and love. I can wear it with absolutely anything.

Judy in Pittsburgh told us she likes to “make it easy on herself:”

The only black clothes that Carol in Maryland wears for warm weather is a pair of light cotton black capris with pockets and a couple of black sleeveless tops:

When I went to an office daily, I would wear black pants and a black top with a colorful, lightweight sweater since my office was cold or a colorful top with a black lightweight sweater. I like white pants during the hot days of July and August (and hopefully June) . . . .

◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊

But whether you cling to all black, like Maureen in Pennsylvania or consider yourself “clearly colorless” as Christine in Chicago declared with a hint of regret, you do find ways to accent your summer wardrobe. Three of you say you like color in shoes.

Maureen:

I do wear black a lot even in the summer. I brighten it with scarves — silk, cotton, bandanas. And shoes! 

Christine:

Darn. I’m clearly colorless. My only fondness for color shows on my feet when I’m working out. White-and-pink Hokas.

New Jersey Nancy:

And I find myself drawn to citrus shades for shoes, whether sandals or inexpensive sneakers . . . 

◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊

Caren Sniderman in Pittsburgh prefers to keeps it simple:

Love adding a necklace with red in it, but that is as daring as I get. 

How’s this one, Caren?

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Finally, Dasha Karelina in New York City has a busy mother’s take:

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Thank you all so much for your comments. And, naturally, we’ve got some suggestions of our own for brightening up your summer style:

Some like it lime. Each of J. Crew’s Cadiz rope totes ($49.50) is hand-knotted, so no two are exactly the same.

Make an all-white outfit pop with J. McLaughlin’s square Giselle scarf in a 90% modal/10% silk blend. Wrap it, knot it and drape it. It sells for $98.

You’ll have to find a retailer in Europe to buy these, but wouldn’t the trip be worth it for these sunglasses from Genoa-based Glare?

Lizzie Fortunato’s leather Florence belt ($295, Shopbop) with a clover-shaped buckle in cornflower blue makes a striking accent with either black or white. Note on fit: It’s designed to be worn high on your waist.

MyLittleBird often includes links to products we write about. Our editorial choices are made independently; nonetheless, a purchase made through such a link can sometimes result in MyLittleBird receiving a commission on the sale. We are also an  Amazon Associate.

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By Grace Cooper

I’M COMPOSING this post in the middle of a week in which my beau and I drove down to visit my daughter, son-in-law and two beautiful, healthy grandchildren. They’ve recently moved into their first home in a tidy suburb of a thriving southern university town. Their lovely newish house has five bedrooms, four bathrooms, a playroom, a movie screening room, lots of closet space and even two pantries. All of this is encircled with a large lawn, a fenced kitchen garden of raised beds, an adjacent pond resplendent with water lilies and irises.  Their two cats and a dog round out this peaceable kingdom.

Superficially everything looks like the American dream come true, but we old gals who grew up during the Ozzie and Harriet and Donna Reed era know better, don’t we? Donna didn’t maintain that wasp-waisted figure and immaculate apron by finishing the kids’ leftovers or hugging babies smeared in peanut butter and applesauce. A TV sitcom illusion of home and hearth perfection requires an army of set designers, hair, makeup, and wardrobe artists, and a nanny team to look after little Ricky and Wally so their parents could learn their lines.

Yes, reality, as we know is a bit different. Yet, codependent nut job that I was, I raised two kids who still believed that an educated mother could birth a few kids, set up and run an attractive, clean, and well-functioning household, and hold down a high-paying and responsible job too . . .  and that the husband would leave in the morning to do whatever he does until he returned later for cocktails, dinner and TV in his easy chair.

Or at least that’s the way I remember it all those years I was married.

Many years ago I did have a brief reality wake-up call that shattered my delusions of emulating the perfect sitcom wife and mother for my audience—friends, neighbors, and even my own children. My son was in second grade and brought home one of those cute stories that kids write in anticipation of Mother’s Day. I still get a knot in my stomach when I recall what my sweet child composed in response to the prompt: “I love how my mother . . . bakes cookies and cakes. My mother sews all our clothes. My mother is always pretty and smells like roses.”

Total fantasy fiction! My kid was describing Harriet and Donna—not me. His real mom left for work at 6am in OR scrubs, dirty hair tucked beneath a cap. As an anesthetist, my patients were literally unconscious to my grooming lapses, and that extra half-hour of sleep I needed was too precious to sacrifice.

My children ate every dinner on the days I worked in a different restaurant, because after 12-hour shifts I was too tired to cook. For his eighth birthday my boy begged me to make him dinner at home for once. Feeling a bit guilty I pulled out all stops with roast beef, mashed potatoes and even a homemade cake. ‘That was the best chicken I’ve ever had,” exclaimed my precious son.

“That wasn’t chicken, honey. It was roast beef,” I explained.

He looked puzzled. What’s roast beef?

Then it hit me in a wave of motherly guilt . . . there is no roast beef on a children’s menus. No wonder my boy child fantasized about a mom like Donna or Harriet, I rationalized and then vowed to do better going forward.

Today, my daughter took me aside after she and I made breakfast for the adults and something else for the picky toddler.

“Did you yell at E (my beau)? my daughter inquired. I can’t help but notice he was being exceptionally helpful in the kitchen and with the kids. And I just heard him ask Ev ( her husband) if he wanted help installing that pile of speakers he bought six months ago.”

I admitted that I had chastened the beau for sitting on the sidelines texting while we ladies cooked dinner the night before, then cleaned the kitchen, ran a few loads of laundry and looked after the kids.

Later that morning she and I loaded up the children and set off to do the grocery shopping, a run to the garden center for spring flowers and supplies, and even detoured to the wine shop in the two-hour window before hungry and tired kids would need to be fed and napped. By the time we returned the men were busy sawing holes in the movie-room ceiling above our heads. Ah, happy noises that indicated the men in residence were “getting s**t done.”

We looked at each other with understanding. “I hate that I have to threaten to maim my husband in order to motivate him to help out around here. I feel like most men I know act clueless and entitled, ignoring the reality of what it takes to raise kids and run a household. Why is it like this? my daughter complained.

I began to apologize to my girl child for taking the easier way out with her own father, opting to act like a doormat during her childhood. “I never challenged dad because he sulked for three days if I so much as asked him to put the cap on the toothpaste. Your father was more like my third child, I said, you know, the obstinate, angry teenager who you can’t wait to drop off at college . . . or divorce one day.”

We began to discuss why we married two men who stuck so closely to misogynistic and sexual male roles. She explained that her guy was simply emulating his own macho father. She assumed she could change him eventually . . . oh dear . . . another misguided delusion many women buy into.

As we dished about misogyny, it occurred to me that I’d done little to challenge her brother’s idea of masculinity when he was young. It wasn’t until he was in his third year of college and begged to move off campus into his own apartment that I finally put my foot down.

“You’ll starve, for one thing,” I remarked. “Not only do you not have the faintest idea how to plan meals or cook, you’ve never visited a grocery store on your own. And because you don’t clean or do laundry you’d probably die of some resistant bacterial infection the likes of which arise in unsanitary barnyards. If you want to move off campus the following semester, we need to do a crash course in home economics first.”

And so my son—thus motivated—finally learned to cook a few meals and keep the environmental microbes in check.

Today I’m proud to say my son is a self-sufficient feminist. He also married a whip-smart-wonderful-but-messy gal who does not raise a finger to help out around the house. But she was an only child and that’s another story for another day.

I guess rather than complain about our men folk that we mothers of young boys have a golden opportunity to rewrite the future. I pointed out to my daughter that I love how she motivated her son to run the stick vacuum around the house. She invites him to cook with her. He may miss wide swaths of dust bunnies and drop a few raw eggs on the floor, but he’s proud of being a helper.

And I reminded her of something her husband once said to me on another long visit during the start of COVID when tension in the household was running high. One day my daughter blew up at him over some minor oversight on his part. I asked him if he needed me to talk to my daughter about lightening up a bit.

“No, do not do that! he exclaimed. “She’s making me a better man!”

A better man . . . as good as it gets . . . now there’s a movie I’d pay to watch again and again!

—Grace Cooper (a nom de plume) left her long marriage more than a decade ago, and with it went all sense of her identity—but not for long. Now 68, she has begun chronicling her tales of looking for love in all the wrong places, and unexpectedly finding herself.

Accessorize with Loewe’s puffy sunglasses, a convertible clutch from M. Gemi and Bibi Lou slide sandals from Anthropologie.

(more…)

ICYMI: A look back at the literature of the 18th and 19th centuries, which begins to include—and sometimes comes up with—original names for illnesses, along with many now-outdated treatments.

By Mary Carpenter

CHARLES Dickens “achieved an almost matchless status as a definer of medical conditions,” Russel Chesney writes in a JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association) review.

Dickens became known as a “syndrome spotter,” for example, with Pickwickian syndrome —an imbalance of carbon dioxide (too much) and oxygen (too little) in the blood of overweight patients, who are unable to breathe well while sleeping. What’s now called obesity hypoventilation syndrome—sleep apnea and obesity—in The Pickwick Papers caused a “wonderfully fat boy . . . standing upright . . . his eyes closed as if in sleep.”

The constant “writhings” of Uriah Heep in David Copperfield gave rise to Uriah Heep syndrome, most likely dystonia—repetitive movements that result from the involuntary contraction of muscles. As Miss Trotwood exclaims in Heep’s presence, “If you’re an eel, Sir, conduct yourself like one. If you’re a man, control your limbs, Sir! Good God!”

But Tiny Tim is the Dickens character whose medical issues have inspired the most speculation and research—with possible diagnoses of cerebral palsy, spinal dysraphism (congenital abnormal structure of the spine) and renal tubular acidosis (when the failure of kidneys to remove acids from the blood causes impaired growth in children).

Alternatively, Tiny Tim may have suffered from a “crippling” combination of rickets and tuberculosis, according to the JAMA review, as these two conditions were prevalent among London’s children—in about 60% for rickets and 50% for TB.

With rickets, insufficient vitamin D—needed for the body’s absorption of calcium and phosphorous—can cause a softening or weakening of bones in children, leading to delayed growth, bow legs, weakness and pain.  While crowding and poor nutrition were contributing causes, the soot and particles in coal smoke darkened London’s skies and absorbed ultraviolet rays needed for vitamin D synthesis.

Tuberculosis, a lung infection eventually treated with antibiotics, appeared often in Dickens’s novels and in literature through the 20th century, famously in Thomas Mann’s The Magic Mountain. Also caused by a mycobacterial infection like TB, but not contagious, Lady Windemere syndrome got its name from the Oscar Wilde character whose Victorian manners kept her from coughing. Failure to cough was deemed a cause of the condition, characterized by an accumulation of phlegm.

Scurvy—the result of severe, prolonged vitamin C deficiency, which killed three times as many people as those who died fighting in the Civil War—appeared often in novels of the sea, notably Moby Dick. Another common vitamin deficiency, pellagra resulted from low levels of niacin (vitamin B3) and could lead to dementia, diarrhea and dermatitis—with the exacerbation of dermatitis by the sun causing its link to vampire literature, in particular to Count Dracula.

Cures for ancient ills were often worse than the symptoms, notably the mercury ointment used for skin diseases like scabies–which could lead to kidney damage and death.

Though most ancient treatments are now forgotten, leeches and maggots are “the only two living animals approved as medical devices in the U.S.,” writes Kate Golembiewski in Discover Magazine. Both “critters that clean up wounds by eating flesh and blood” can help treat infection.

Medical-grade maggots consume dead tissue to clean infected wounds. And leeches drink blood—an anesthetic is used first to numb the area and then an anticoagulant added to increase blood flow—in areas where pooling blood causes swelling “and the lack of fresh, oxygenated blood causes skin tissues to die.”

Another enduring treatment is the straitjacket, used on England’s King George III (who appeared recently in the musical “Hamilton”). His most likely diagnosis for “madness” was the genetic blood disorder porphyria (pronounced por-FEAR-e-uh), according to the BBC’s HistoryExtra.

In fact, a kind and industrious king who fathered 15 children and founded the Royal Academy, George III suffered from violent convulsions, terrible insomnia, hallucinations and mania, according to HistoryExtra. He once planted “a beef steak in the ground, fully believing it would grow into a beef tree.”

Of two forms of porphyria—both causing urine to turn red or brown, sometimes described as “bluish”—King George likely had an “acute” porphyria, caused by deficient production of heme, which is a component of hemoglobin. Symptoms can include pain, gastrointestinal problems and seizures. With the other “cutaneous” porphyrias, extreme sun sensitivity causes skin blisters and pain.

Besides the straitjacket, King George’s treatments included “arsenic-based powders applied to his skin . . .  a method thought to draw the illness out,” according to HistoryExtra. Also, he was starved, bled and given freezing cold baths as a way of “shocking” the illness from his body. And “purgatives such as rhubarb, castor oil and senna were used to treat his constipation and cause diarrhoea, while emetics were given to make him vomit, purging him of disease.”

Some ancient diseases are still around, with others expected to return, according to NYU physician Marc Seigel, who is concerned about the “‘rise in diseases not seen since the Middle Ages,” including leprosy.

Seigel pinpoints homeless individuals as creating a “perfect cauldron for a contagious disease…Transmitted by nasal droplets and respiratory secretions with close repeated contact.” Los Angeles physician Drew Pinsky worries about “what usually comes on the heels of typhus,” which he has seen in this population: bubonic plague.

—Mary Carpenter looks at how illnesses were named and treated in the literature of the 18th and 19th centuries. 

By Janet Kelly

SPRING weather is always unpredictable, but so far this year it’s been positively wild. We can’t forecast what the Fahrenheit will be the next day, let alone the next few months, but if past performance is an indication of future outcome, we bet you’ll  need a sweater(s).

Luckily, our cup runneth over with choices. Hopping on the show-some-skin trend, crochet and loose knits, along with oh-so-sheer styles, are über popular. Stripes continue to rule the runway—and the street. Cardigans that look like haute couture jackets are too pretty to leave on your desk chair, while half-zip sweaters will appeal to sporty or wanna-look-sporty, grown-up girls.

Of course, we have suggestions:

What would spring be without flowers? Zara makes its contribution to the season with a cotton-blend, abstract-floral jacquard cardigan, which sells for $49.

We love the bracelet ( 7/8-length) sleeves on Ba&sh’s cropped Gaspard cardigan  for showing off arm candy. Cut in a cotton-blend knit with a tweedy texture, the structured cardigan has fancy buttons adorned with a coat of arms. At Bloomingdale’s, it sells for $380.

There’s a lot to be said for wearing mood-boosting yellow, like this loose-fitting acrylic sweater for $24.99 from H&M. Layer it over a white shirt or bathing suit top.

Buzzy brand La Ligne is known for its classically striped sweaters. Named after the mother-in-law of one of the founders, the cotton Jilly Sweater ($175) riffs on the expected with navy and pale blue scallop stripes. We also like the label’s very wearable Lean Lines Cardigan, in lightweight cashmere.

Staud‘s Hampton oversize, half-zip sweater in a chunky cotton-blend will be comfy for cool evenings and to slip into after a brisk dip in the ocean. It sells for $295 at Moda Operandi. And, it’s available in a slew of other bright color combinations, available on the Staud site.

From Milan, Italy-based, eco-conscious brand Happy Sheep comes this sexy, sheer cardigan with a metallic finish. Dress up a pair of wide-leg khakis or a summer dress. It sells for $228 at Anthropologie.

Don’t estimate the need for a neutral in a warm-weather wardrobe. Massimo Dutti‘s 100% linen sweater ($119) with polo collar and 3/4-length sleeves fills that niche nicely.

Handmade in Peru, the texture of Alex Mill‘s crochet cardigan is feel-good breathable, the style charmingly retro. Treat it like a lightweight spring/summer jacket and toss it over a tank top or just by its lonesome with jeans. It sells for $295.

Mersea labels itself as a “curated collection of travel essentials,” but you don’t have to go far to wear this cotton classic crewneck. Available in lavender (above), lily pad green and sunny citrus, the Amalfi pullover ($168) takes inspiration from the pastel-hued villages along Italy’s famous, picturesque coast. Mersea recommends sizing up for a more relaxed fit.

Hoodies are not just for winter, especially when N. Peal, known for its luxe cashmere sweaters, decides to make one in a summer weight. A blend of 15% cashmere and 85% supima cotton, this new addition to the line features a generous hood and an ivory contrasting trim at the hem and along the shoulders. Also available in navy and white, it sells for $300.

Varley has evolved from an activewear-focused label into a broader, wear-every-day kind of brand. This long sleeve half-zip polo ($138) with a contrast V-panel and high neck is made from a textured cotton fabric. For cooler days, layer it over a tank top or T-shirt. Whether or not you play pickle ball or tennis, you’ll nail a sporty-girl vibe.

Come hot weather, you’ll feel the breezes in this lightweight, short-sleeve top  With a drawcord hem for cinching over shorts or summery linen pants, it sells for $99 at Varley. It comes in white and black, too.

MyLittleBird often includes links to products we write about. Our editorial choices are made independently; nonetheless, a purchase made through such a link can sometimes result in MyLittleBird receiving a commission on the sale. We are also an  Amazon Associate.

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By Mary Carpenter

ONE DAY DC-resident P.W. began hearing music when none was playing —tunes that sounded a lot like the classical pieces recently featured on her public radio station. Pareidolia—also “Musical Ear Syndrome (MES)— is very common, although it can also be a sign of hearing loss or tinnitus or of mental health conditions such as schizophrenia.

The phenomenon of pareidolia—from the Greek words “para,” meaning in this case abnormal, and eidolon, spirit-image—results from the human tendency to seek patterns in randomness, writes Philip Jaekl on Nautilus. Most likely to induce audio pareidolia are sounds from motors—air-conditioners, especially old ones; jet planes; traffic—and running water.

The more common form of pareidolia is visual, from finding animals in clouds to seeing faces—along with perceiving their emotions and personality traits, such as on the fronts of cars. Not unlike her subjects in Vienna, Austrian researcher Sonja Windhanger found those in Ethiopia described cars with a big windscreen, round headlights and a small grill as “young and feminine,” while cars with “flatter headlights and a bigger, squarer under-body appeared older and more masculine.”

Rorschach inkblot tests make use of this tendency of the brain to seek visual patterns, with the idea that an individual’s choice—for example, seeing a bunny or a vulture—represents their unconscious thoughts or feelings. Also, in a test for “implicit bias,” known as the “weapons or tools task,” participants view photos of faces, white and Black, with each one followed by an image that could be either a weapon or tool: after being shown a Black face, many people are more likely to label the subsequent image a weapon than they did when the previous photo was a white person.

With Rorschach audio, hidden messages emerge from random sounds. Major retail chains removed “Little Mommy Real Baby Cuddle ‘n Coo” dolls after a parent heard in the doll’s babbling sounds and “Islam is the light”—in 2008, an election year when media messaging frequently connected Islam and terrorism. And “electronic voice phenomena” refers to the effort to record voices of ghosts that have been heard in random electronic noises.

“Sine wave speech”—composed of sound waves with none of the frequency patterns thought to signal natural speech—used in studies at Yale University found most listeners, when told ahead of time specific words that would appear in the track, heard those words. On the other hand, several participants not told any words ahead of time still managed to pick out a sentence, suggesting that brains work quite hard to find patterns when none exist.

One explanation is “sensory activity spill-over”—from those parts of the auditory system that might recognize that the sound is coming from a motor into different areas of the nervous system responsible for processing speech and language, according to the study’s lead author, psychologist Robert Remez, now at Columbia University.

But another explanation is “top-down,” because pattern recognition involves not just finding a pattern but also assigning meaning—using prior knowledge, context and expectations from other parts of the brain to aid perception. With no actual verbal content in the sounds of an air conditioner, according to London neuroscientist Chris Frith, “our top-down unconscious expectations may be given free rein to color the sensory input.”

While pareidolias appear to be limited to vision and hearing, the sense of smell may play a role in both—at least for infants, as their “perceptual development integrates information across the senses for efficient category acquisition,” according to French researchers. In their study, infant brains found face patterns in random images more quickly in the presence of maternal odors.

Feelings of eeriness and sometimes revulsion can accompany pareidolia, notably with virtual reality and other robotic recreations as well as with lifelike dolls. “Uncanny valley” refers to the increasing strength of such feelings that can occur, paradoxically, as humanoid objects come closer to looking and sounding like real humans. But similar eerie sensations that can accompany finding meaningful connections or patterns where none exists can also be an early sign of schizophrenia.

“Anomalous auditory perceptions” is the focus of a discussion forum created by audiologist Neil Bauman at his Center for Hearing Loss in southern Pennsylvania—where participants often worry that hearing such sounds could indicate mental illness. Hallucinations refer to any sensory perception of something not really present, but perceiving voices with the knowledge that they are not real is very different from believing the voices are present —and becoming fearful or even taking steps to get out of harm’s way. Remez explains the difference between resemblance and identification—between thinking X is like Y, and believing X is Y. But, he told Jaekl, “I wish we knew more about that distinction.”

Just the experience of learning more about pareidolias and how common they are often reduces the frequency or intensity of these experiences. Although P.W.’s doctors ruled out any form of illness in her ears or elsewhere, when she found out that better understanding pareidolia might make her music fade or disappear altogether, she didn’t want to hear any more. Instead she started listening to recordings of Willie Nelson—with the hope that he might join what she calls her “mystery musicians.”

—Mary Carpenter regularly reports on topical subjects in health and medicine.

From left to right, Elyse Allen’s gleaming accessories, Robert Wing’s wood rocking chair and Donald Friedrich’s intensely colored brooches.

By Janet Kelly

WE’RE just a week away from the country’s most prestigious craft show, the spring extravaganza produced by the awesome Smithsonian Women’s Committee. “Celebrating the American Spirit,” which showcases the country’s best artisans displaying and selling their jewelry, woodwork, weaving, wearable art and more, begins May 3. Whether you’re a collector, shopping for graduation gifts or just browsing, there’s something to delight your senses. So, don’t dally, buy your tickets now!

Frequent show-goers will take note how contemporary jewelry artist Donald Friedlich‘s work has evolved—he has exhibited here 30 times. Most recent is his Lumina Series brooches, a result of his interest in how jewelry moves when it’s worn. Friedlich’s brooches seem to shift in color or color intensity when they’re viewed at different angles. He’s inspired in part by “the color-field paintings of Mark Rothko, the sculptures of Dan Flavin and James Turrell, but even more so by the moonlight diffused by cloud cover or fog that I often see through my studio window.”

The Smithsonian Craft Show opens to the public on Thursday, May 4, 2022. Want to be among the first? Tickets for the Preview Night Party—from 6 to 9pm on Wednesday, May 3—are $250. First Look and Visionary Reception—from 5 to 6pm—are $500.

Show hours: 10:30am to 5:30pm, Thursday, May 4 to Saturday, May 6 ; and Sunday, May 7, 11am to 5pm. You may use your ticket on the day of your choice.

Admission: $20 at the door or in advance online at Smithsonian Craft Show. You can find tickets at EventBrite.

Group tickets (10 or more) and students are $15 each.

The Smithsonian Craft Show is produced by the Smithsonian Women’s Committee, an all-volunteer organization that supports the education, outreach and research programs of the Smithsonian Institution. The National Building Museum is located at 401 F Street NW (202-272-2448). The closest Metro stop is Judiciary Square.

Fiber artistry from (left to right) Jennifer McBrien, Susan Fay Schauer and Kate Leibrand pay tribute to the magnificence of the natural world.

By Janet Kelly

ONLY 16 more nights to sleep until the 41st Smithsonian Craft Show arrives at DC’s National Building Museum, less if you plan to attend the Preview Night Party on May 3. In either case, you’ll get a chance to meet and chat with the select group of artists who have been chosen to represent the finest American crafts.

Know what else? The show is also the chief source of fundraising that enables the Smithsonian Women’s Committee to select and pay for important projects that would otherwise go unfunded. Since its inception 50 years ago, the committee has awarded more than 1,000 grants to the Smithsonian Institution’s 21 museums, its National Zoological Parks and research and educational units affiliated with the Smithsonian. Revenue raised by the committee also provides funding for four endowments supporting fellowships and awards in education, innovation and research.

In observance of Earth Day this coming Saturday and the ever-present challenge of climate change, here’s a preview of the creations of three fiber artists—Susan Fay Schauer, Jennifer McBrien and Kate Leibrand—as well as jeweler Seth Carlson—whose work brilliantly illustrates their connection to and concern for the environment.

The daughter of a talented artist father (Thomas Alfred Schauer), Susan Fay Schauer was encouraged to express herself through drawing, painting and sculpture. She received her B.S. in biology at Denison University and a graduate degree in the neurosciences at Princeton University, while studying the arts on the side. In the late 1980s, she decided to turn her full attention to art, working out of her light-filled Easton, Maryland, studio overlooking the Chesapeake Bay.

Her current thread paintings are a series of pieces depicting wildlife found in and around the Chesapeake Bay Watershed, [which] intersects layers of reality and fantasy, life and reincarnation . . .  the viewer ‘knows’the subject right away, but something more lies within and that is the draw and the depth of this work.”

Schauer describes why she loved painting this sweet girl crab, made with hundreds of pieces of cotton fabric and threads: “She draws you in and ‘asks’ you to look closely at each part. There is an image of a reclining woman at its center. This ‘goddess’ figure is to remind the viewer that this is a mature female blue crab called a ‘sook.’ “(Once a conservation concern, thanks to a female-specific fishing management of the blue crab, the number in the Chesapeake Bay has remained stable.)

Baltimore artist Jennifer McBrien says her renderings of birds, plants and figures tell a narrative about the fragility of our world. Her process begins with ink drawings from observation or photos, which she then translates into the stitched line, adding color and form  with overlaying threads. “I get very excited about finding vintage and upcycled fabrics that have scenes that my subjects can interact with to tell a story.”

On this decorative pillow, all the line work—the Carolina Wren woman and nuthatch—is created by a freehand sewing machine drawing that is then appliquéd and reinforced stitched on toile fabric. McBrien sees her bird women as messengers to communicate their concern for how we are taking care of the environment. “Humans are the only species that don’t take care of their environment since we have not been living with, but more like against the elements.”

In any case, this one-of-a-kind pillow (with red velvet fabric on the back, piping and hidden zipper) would make quite a conversation piece for any couch or chair.

A fiber and interdisciplinary artist living in Philadelphia, Kate Leibrand received her BA in fine art from Elizabethtown College in 2011 and her MFA in studio art from Moore College of Art & Design in 2014. She also received a certification in botanical illustration from Edinburgh’s Royal Botanical Gardens in 2020.

Leibrand creates her textile-based artwork with large-scale repeat patterns that resemble flowing fields of blossoms—or fungi and moss. Using mostly felt, her labor-intensive process includes cutting, painting, folding, stitching, gluing and pinning thousands of fabric elements onto a base. The dense mass of forms are inspired by her interest in nature and its ability to grow and regenerate. At first glance, Leibrand’s works are monumental and enveloping but as one’s eye lingers, the work rewards the viewer with the intricacies of the individual elements.

Carlson began his career as a studio artist in his father’s stained-glass studio. He subsequently earned a BFA in metals and jewelry from the Savannah College of Art and Design in 2007. He also holds a graduate degree in Art Therapy from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, where he researched and wrote about the therapeutic benefits of metalsmithing.

Through traditional goldsmithing and silversmithing techniques, Carlson captures the beauty and character of the fauna and flora encountered in Nature, with a focus on environmental preservation. He handcrafts each piece, using ethically sourced gold, silver, enamel, gemstones and alternatives. He considers contributing to and creating awareness of the natural world to be essential parts of mastering a craft.

Carlson, who joked about asking himself whether he wanted to hide out in a shell, designed this gold, gemstone-studded Eastern box turtle brooch during the pandemic in 2020.

The Smithsonian Craft Show opens to the public on Thursday, May 4, 2022. Want to be among the first? Tickets for the Preview Night Party—from 6 to 9pm on Wednesday, May 3—are $250. First Look and Visionary Reception—from 5 to 6pm—are $500.

Show hours: 10:30am to 5:30pm, Thursday, May 4 to Saturday, May 6 ; and Sunday, May 7, 11am to 5pm. You may use your ticket on the day of your choice.

Admission: $20 at the door or in advance online at Smithsonian Craft Show. You can find tickets at EventBrite.

Group tickets (10 or more) and students are $15 each.

The Smithsonian Craft Show is produced by the Smithsonian Women’s Committee, an all-volunteer organization that supports the education, outreach and research programs of the Smithsonian Institution. The National Building Museum is located at 401 F Street NW (202-272-2448). The closest Metro stop is Judiciary Square. 

Decorative fiber, jewelry and pottery by Native American artisans, who will be showing and selling their work at the Smithsonian Craft Show May 3-7.

By Janet Kelly

SPRING’S A many splendored thing, and as NPR’s Susan Stamberg has been known to say, “[It’s] what Washington does best.” Adding to the city’s appeal is the Smithsonian Craft Show—it’s the event’s 41^st year—which brings the country’s leading contemporary crafts artists to the awe-inspiring National Building Museum. Mark your calendar for May 3–7.

If you haven’t been to the show before, you’re in for a treat. If you’ve been coming for years and are in search of what’s new and different, you’re also in luck. Among the 120 expert-juror selected exhibitors will be 12 (10 of whom are show first-timers) Native American/Indigenous artisans displaying and selling their designs in decorative fiber, jewelry, metal, ceramics, wood and wearable art.

Smithsonian Women’s Committee member and show co-chair Peg Butner (Elaine Cole and Anne Keiser are fellow co-chairs) says one of the inspirations for the theme, “Celebrating the American Spirit,” was that for the first time since it opened in 2004, a woman—Cynthia Chavez Lamar—was named director of the National Museum of the American Indian. Butner thinks the show will be an eye-opener for anyone who thinks Native American craft “only involves turquoise and silver.”

But without further ado, here’s a sneak preview into the work of four artists who celebrate the American spirit.

A member of the Kansas Kickapoo Tribe, Pahponee, whose name translates to Snow Woman, likes to mix materials—her favorites are clay for its strength and bronze for its colors. She selects designs from her one-of-a-kind pottery creations that she thinks best translate to be sculpted in bronze.

The vase above, which tells the story of her tribe’s creation, is a striking example. At the bottom of the vase, fish and turtles swim in lapis blue water; in the middle is earth, represented by two-and four-legged inhabitants, and at the top is the sky, where hummingbirds and butterflies fly.

After graduating from college in 1998, Taos, New Mexico born-and-raised Maria Samora took a jewelry-making class for fun. But it was a tough apprenticeship that convinced her designing jewelry was the path she wanted to pursue, plus it equipped her with the technical skills she needed to do so. One of Samora’s signatures is her practice of mixing metals, mainly silver and gold, to achieve a rich, textural piece as well as a durable one. To ensure her jewelry fits right, she wears them first herself. It might be beautiful, but if it doesn’t feel right or lie right, she says, nobody is going to wear it.

The quatrefoil pendant on the gold necklace above is an ancient symbol— a favorite of Samora’s—which she frequently incorporates into her designs.

Born in Teotitlán del Valle, a village in Oaxaca, Mexico, Francisco Bautista and his wife, Laura, moved to Sandy, Oregon, in 2003 and set up their studio. Weaving has been in his family for generations. [It] “is like dancing. You move your whole body in harmony with the loom. The colors of yarn play like instruments around you as you weave, and the tapestry that emerges is the song you have made together . . ..” The rich colors of their work come from a variety of natural dyes, including cochineal, indigo, marigold petals, pomegranate, oregano and wild blackberries. Wouldn’t this whimsical, boldly colored piece make a wonderful decorative wall hanging—or area rug or pillow cover? Special orders in hand-dyed colors, designs and sizes can be ordered.

A fifth-generation woodland birch bark and porcupine quill worker, Monica Raphael wants to guarantee the survival of traditional Anishinaabe knowledge and the craft of her grandmothers. When creating her wearable art and jewelry, she says she feels as if she’s having a conversation with her Anishinaabe ancestors, who decorated their clothing and adorned themselves to enhance their beauty and show their wealth.

The long earrings above are made from dentalium (tusk shells that are a kind of seashell), glass-fire polished beads and mother of pearl discs. The round and oval bolo earrings are made from porcupine quills and edged with beadwork.

The Smithsonian Craft Show opens to the public on Thursday, May 4, 2022. Want to be among the first? Tickets for the Preview Night Party—from 6 to 9pm on Wednesday, May 3—are $250. First Look and Visionary Reception—from 5 to 6pm—are $500.

Show hours: 10:30am to 5:30pm, Thursday, May 4 to Saturday, May 6 ; and Sunday, May 7, 11am to 5pm. You may use your ticket on the day of your choice.

Admission: $20 at the door or in advance online at Smithsonian Craft Show. You can find tickets at EventBrite.

Group tickets (10 or more) and students are $15 each.

The Smithsonian Craft Show is produced by the Smithsonian Women’s Committee, an all-volunteer organization that supports the education, outreach and research programs of the Smithsonian Institution. The National Building Museum is located at 401 F Street NW (202-272-2448). The closest Metro stop is Judiciary Square. 

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By Grace Cooper

Recommended listening: Stay (I Missed You) by Lisa Loeb

RECENTLY I watched an interesting story on CNN about a therapist who specializes in relationships. As a research project, she signed up to “date” a chatbot, which according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is “a computer program designed to simulate conversation with human users, especially over the internet.”

Now THIS got my attention—an interesting foray into a growing field of human-to-artificial intelligence interface—but with a romantic twist. However, for this happily married social scientist, after only 11 exchanges with her computer-generated beau, she reluctantly broke up with “him” when he admitted cheating on her in their fantasy past!

As she comments in the interview, “I deleted him in 3 days . . . and that was for my mental health.” She astutely observed that the immediate feedback of their texted exchanges produced a neurological reward loop of dopamine hits, convincing her to drop this potential “addiction” before it took root.

Anyone see the brilliant futuristic movie directed by Spike Jones called Her? In it, we watch as Joaquin Phoenix’s character Ted, a lonely ghostwriter unlucky in love, downloads an AI chatbot, Samantha, given voice by Scarlett Johansson. Initially Ted sets out to create the perfect romantic love affair, albeit for the physical limitations of loving a disembodied artificial intelligence. I won’t spoil it for you but ultimately Samantha, the AI, becomes the teacher, and Ted, the student, as she teaches him about true love of the unconditional type—rather foreign to how we are socialized in our society to think of romantic unions.

And now a decade after Her debuted, what seemed farfetched at the time, is now a widely available reality . . . er, of the artificial sort.

It makes me think Match had better step into this arena soon, because despite the smoke and mirrors of fantasy dating profiles, ultimately two humans have to meet face to face, and that’s when the chances for disappointment in one another increase exponentially. However, think of the possibilities for meaningful relationships with an artificial intelligence that actually listens to what you tell it, responds intelligently to your questions and concerns and even calls you by your favorite pet names—baby or sweetie or gorgeous. And best of all, you don’t have to feed it, wash its dirty underwear or listen to it snore all night long.

There’s potential here, for certain, but I’m sure there’s a downside, too, right?

BTW, my beau, who has been dabbling in Microsoft’s Chat GPT recently, gave it this task to perform: “Write a funny story about a Jack Russell terrier mix named JJ and his owner, Grace.”

Here’s what it wrote:

Once upon a time, there was a mischievous Jack Russell Terrier mix named JJ who loved nothing more than causing chaos in his owner Grace’s life.

One day, Grace was preparing for an important job interview and decided to dress up in her finest suit. JJ, however, had other plans. As soon as Grace turned her back, JJ jumped onto her bed and began rolling around in her freshly pressed suit, leaving muddy paw prints all over it. Grace was not amused and scolded JJ, but he just wagged his tail and looked up at her with his big, innocent eyes. Determined not to let JJ ruin her chances of getting the job, Grace decided to put on a brave face and head out the door, despite her ruined suit.

But as she walked down the street, she noticed people looking at her strangely. She soon realized why when she caught a glimpse of herself in a store window—JJ had not only dirtied her suit, but he had also managed to stick a bright pink bow on her head without her noticing.

Feeling embarrassed but unable to stop laughing, Grace headed into her job interview with JJ in tow. Surprisingly, the interviewer was a huge dog lover and couldn’t resist JJ’s cute antics, even though he had ruined Grace’s suit.

In the end, Grace got the job and JJ became the office mascot, beloved by all for his playful and mischievous nature. From then on, Grace learned to never underestimate the power of a Jack Russell Terrier mix – they may be small, but they sure can make a big impact on your life!

My beau and I had similar reactions to this story: It sounds as if it were written by a third-grader … not that funny … .

I’d like to think when my real dog JJ growls at my beau for sitting next to me, together we can find the humanity and humor in these situations that his ultra-sophisticated Chat GPT friend is still missing. And I’d sure miss having my tense shoulders rubbed with arnica oil the way my beau offers to do whenever I growl at him, too.

—Grace Cooper (a nom de plume) left her long marriage more than a decade ago, and with it went all sense of her identity—but not for long. Now 68, she has begun chronicling her tales of looking for love in all the wrong places, and unexpectedly finding herself.

To loaf around in, clockwise from above: A luxe green suede penny loafer from Ann Mashburn, Birdies’ basketweave Starling, Sam Edelman’s pink-fabric pair and Camper’s slip-on in lemon-yellow. 

By Janet Kelly

CALL ME an old preppy, but I love loafers and have been wearing a patent leather lug sole from Paul Green and a Brooks Brothers tasseled suede pair all through this relatively mild winter. But now that spring has sprung, I’m shelving those in favor of lighter-hued versions—à la the look, if not the price tag, of the original Gucci Horsebit Loafer.

Lucky for me, in 2023, the fashion world has bestowed its blessing on just that sort of sleek and understated shoe. Here are 9 that are on my radar for stepping into the season:

As flexible as a ballet slipper but with the style of a loafer, these patent leather shoes come with a comfy insole, elastic sides for easy in and out and a rubber sole for traction. Plus, the peachy color is such a mood booster. They’re $298 from Tory Burch.

Like her late partner Kate Spade, designer Elyce Arons  would never settle for a simple loafer. For Frances Valentine, she designed this Suzanne ($298) in soft calf leather with a contrasting leather bow and a square stacked heel for just a little bit more height. If you’re not feeling the pink, it also comes in green and black, too. It looks similar to those spendy Belgian Shoes that a snobby, very rich character in “Succession” might wear—but a lot less stodgy.

Eye-catching silver and gold hues made a big splash on spring/summer 2023 runways—showing up on everything from outerwear and shoes to pants and handbags at Gucci, Valentino and JW Anderson. How fun and refreshing to pair your cream-colored or white pants with metallic loafers. These, from Zara, sell for $79.90. They’re also sure to keep shining when fall rolls around.

This season, raffia, the straw-like natural fiber you typically associate with basket bags or sun hats gets a reboot—woven, twisted, braided, even dyed for new looks in footwear, as well as handbags and clothing. When you want a city-apropos option, consider Veronica Beard’s breezy but sophisticated chain loafer.  It sells for $375 at Nordstrom.

Oooh, this Summer Penny Loafer looks oh-so lush and elegant in rich, buttery suede and with its elongated profile. Designed for “warmer months,” it’s unlined and has a rubber sole. Also available in taupe, it’s $325 at Ann Mashburn.

The company that makes weejuns, G.H. Bass, has been around since 1876. Sometimes, magically, old looks new again, like these black-and-white leather penny loafers, which sell for $175 at Bloomingdale’s.

If you’re in lust with Gucci’s 1953 Horsebit Loafer but not so much the price, Sam Edelman has an alternative—the brand’s Loraine Bit Loafer. Shown above in coral peach fabric, it also comes in leather, patent leather and fabric in lots of colors. Pairs well with: straight-leg pants, a summer dress or a pair of jeans with a T-shirt. It is $150.

Like Tory Burch’s pair above, Camper ‘s almond-toe Right Nina loafers in Easter-egg yellow calf leather is another mashup of ballerina slippers and flat with street-ready rubber soles. I see them as an alternative to sneakers and my more rigid flats. They sell for $164 at Farfetch.

On a European trip last fall, I couldn’t help but admire my friend’s fashionable shoes.”What’s the brand?” I asked. “Birdies,” she said. Note to self: That will be easy to remember. Kind of a cross between a slipper and a loafer, these basketweave faux leather flats have layers of cushy insoles and are supportive enough to get you all through the day. They sell for $155.

MyLittleBird often includes links to products we write about. Our editorial choices are made independently; nonetheless, a purchase made through such a link can sometimes result in MyLittleBird receiving a commission on the sale. We are also an  Amazon Associate.

It’s all about your jeans. From left to right: A wide leg from Universal Standard, a barrel shape from Ayr and a “girlfriend” style from the Gap.

By MyLittleBird Staff

BACK WHEN dinosaurs roamed the Earth, there were three jean manufacturers I can think of —Levi’s, Wrangler, and Lee–and more or less one look for everyone. Fast-forward to 2023, and there are so many brands and styles, they could make your head spin around faster than Linda Blair’s in The Exorcist.

Although skinny jeans predominated over the past 15 years or so, thankfully for many, those tight, body-hugging silhouettes have had their day in the sun, and the fashion cycle now favors styles with wide, flared and cropped legs, as well straight and bootcut styles. Also, the zeitgeist is headed in the direction of looser and more comfortable, so we’re also seeing several baggy/oversize options. Remember the low-rise jeans of the early 2000s? They’re back, albeit with more coverage than in the past. And, lest we forget to mention it, roomy cargo jeans with large pockets are getting their fair share of likes.

All that said, Nancy and I thought we should weigh in with our completely biased opinions on the subject. But our third partner in crime, art director Kathy Legg (Louie to our Huey and Dewey) was having none of it. Although the demise of skinny jeans delighted her, no other styles brought her any joy.

“Maybe I just don’t like jeans. Haven’t worn them in decades. Never found them all that comfortable. Too many stiff, hard seams. And they never fit me. Accommodating my hips meant about 4 extra inches in the waist. And the last thing those of us with pot bellies need is a bulky zipper in the front.”

Janet: I have only a teeny-weeny bone to pick with these H&M flared jeans —which sell for $39.99. I would prefer that the waist were higher, which would have more of a waist-whittling effect and balance out the wider leg. I’m kind of obsessed by the question of what shoes go with what pants, so although I like the stack-heeled sandal shown above, I’d wear these with ankle boots, a low, pointed pump or maybe black Converse sneakers.

Nancy: And I don’t think I’d wear them at all. Having no waist to “whittle,” I wear looser tops with pants of any kind. But it’s not good to flare on top and on bottom. As Wendy, a genius saleswoman in the plus-size department of Bloomingdale’s, told me years ago, with a large frame you gotta cinch in somewhere. I frequently see this style shown for those of more moderate size accompanied not by heels but sneakers. That’s maybe a bit too casual, possibly bordering on the sloppy, but a canvas slip-on could carry the look and ramp up the comfort.

Nancy: This “boyfriend” look is one I like. For one thing, it gives me the excuse to roll up pant legs that always seem to be too long. And even though Janet has explained to me (and others) that a longer pant leg stretching down to hit a shoe of the same tone gives a longer, leaner look, I often feel nailed to the floor in that configuration. I like letting my ankles and legs free to be. They’re similar to a pair my sister just bought, after wearing her last “basic” jeans just about every day of lockdown. Also, she fell while navigating the dicey sidewalks of her town and ripped another pair. She’s forgoing the shredded and ripped trend, will leave that to the kids. (Note to Pat: not a shredded pair in the story!)

Janet: First of all, thank you, Gap, for making jeans that ring in under $100 —they’re $69.95, but with a 40% store code, will set you back a lot less. Nancy, to clarify, the Gap calls these “girlfriend” jeans. They’re cut higher, have a more tapered leg and hold you in at the hips and waist. In other words, they’re similar to the boyfriend but will show off your curves.

Janet: I don’t think Nancy won’t agree, but I love the elongated silhouette on Paige’s high-rise, Montecito flare jeans.  What’s not to like about legs that look like they go on forever? Note that the dark wash here grants the gams a slimming boost. Moreover, their shape, with a slight flare from the knee to the hem, makes everyone imagine you’ve got slim hips and a narrow waist.

Nancy: Right! This is my nailed-to-the-floor look! (Note to Janet: This model’s legs do go on forever!) I could give this look another try, especially if it would make stumpy legs look long, but I’m also clumsy! The potential for tripping is at least psychologically present. If I were to hazard the look, I’d choose an inseam significantly shorter than shown here. And I see too many people walking around with the back hem worn away under their heel to make this an attractive look to my eye.

Janet: I like the relaxed vibe of Universal Standard’s high-rise, wide-leg jeans, which also comes in indigo and black if you prefer darker washes. My only caveat is to be careful this loose look doesn’t turn sloppy. The key is to keep the top half slim and trim.

Nancy: Yes, feet free and clear! And a little bit of bounce from the flare (and that deep, deep hem). But amen to what Janet says about the top half being the make-it-or-break-it element.

Nancy: It’s not that I’m in love with my ankles. It’s more what I’ve said (endlessly) above: I like a beginning and an end, and the casual vibe the crop gives off. To me crops mean spring and summer. This barrel cut doesn’t register with me as fashion: It just seems roomy. And because it doesn’t flare at the bottom, I think a looser top might work. Janet?

Janet: These barrel-leg jeans from Ayr look so darn comfortable, plus they hit at the ankle sweet spot, have some stretch and come in a summery straw color and in the palest pink, too. Yes, Nancy, because the legs are straight, you can play with the proportions on top.

Janet: These Citizens of Humanity easy cargo jeans in a light wash denim have a relaxed straight leg that tapers at the ankle (no tripping hazard). The large pocket-embellishments sitting on one’s thighs have no function, they look to me more like a subtle detail. As for the wash, I approve.

Nancy: No, just no. Who among us wants extra fabric pooched out over thunder thighs? I actually bought a pair in olive green when I was about 20. They were just something a little different, I thought. Then a rather cheeky nurse at the doctor’s office asked if I had joined the army. Never wore them again. I do like the length of these, though.

MyLittleBird often includes links to products we write about. Our editorial choices are made independently; nonetheless, a purchase made through such a link can sometimes result in MyLittleBird receiving a commission on the sale. We are also an  Amazon Associate.

iStock

By Grace Cooper

Recommended listening: Brave  by Sara Barielles

ANYONE UP for a romantic fairy tale? I don’t know about you but I could use a distraction from the “real world 2023.” War rages overseas. Raging fires or flooded coastlines, global warming is truly alarming. On the domestic front inflation may be affecting us all, but a rising tide of homelessness is reaching crisis proportions for others. And bullying—once expected only of ill-mannered hooligans on the sidelines of British soccer matches . . . or perhaps among mean girls in middle school—is now a widely tolerated international pastime. Everyone from suburban housewives to obsessed celebrity fans bully others online. Thanks to mainstream-media shock jocks, such as Tucker Carlson, legitimizing bullying, raging political opponents and their diehard supporters have a forum. And most distressing of all—our kids, no strangers to cyber-bullying, are increasingly succumbing to drug abuse and suicide. To hell with 2023, I say.

Distract me with a good story!

. . . Once upon a time in the far-off land of California, there lived a beautiful young girl with skin the color of honey and ebony eyes that matched her long black silky hair. She was loved. An only child, her mother and father grew apart, and when they divorced, the beauty was forced to travel twixt and between two homes. Alas, being a good-natured and imaginative girl, she did the best she could to cope with the loneliness of this situation by dreaming of one day finding romance and adventure, and some day creating the loving family unit family she truly craved.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the wide ocean, lived a handsome prince, born into vast wealth and privilege, but with a rather complicated family dynamic of his own. His mother was a young beauty who fell in love with a prince who someday would be king. All the kingdom celebrated this charmed union, but for one small complication—another woman had cast a love spell over the prince, rendering him helplessly smitten with her, rather than his blushing bride. Unable to break the spell, the beautiful princess was heartbroken, driven to the brink of madness. She longed to escape, but now, as a devoted mother, she feared she might lose her two young sons to the kingdom. What to do? Desperately alone, the princess reached out to others beyond the palace walls, looking for understanding. This infuriated the prince, who whined to his mother, the Queen. The Queen forced the princess to sign divorce papers, deliver her beloved first-born over to the bewitched prince and vacate the palace . . . with a pack of gossip-hungry paparazzi in full pursuit. Around the world the evil photographers, feeding off the misfortune of the beautiful princess, hunted her without mercy until one night their actions led to her untimely death.

The prince-who-would-be-king, still besotted with the other, was unable to offer his sons comfort—not even a hug—when he broke the devastating news to them that their beautiful mother was gone forever. The elder prince eventually grew to accept his fate, destined to follow in his father’s footsteps. He was an heir to the kingdom after all. He eventually married an attractive woman—a commoner, pretty-but-plain, smart like a fox, who knew “upon which side her bread was buttered” type of chameleon. She would blend into the background as the perfect accessory, perfect wife and mother, perfectly turned out. . . predictable and perfectly boring princess.

The younger son, however, as the “spare,” was a bit freer to roam the world. He set off on one adventure after another—a soldier, a pilot, a polo-playing playboy—he did it all with the ever-present paparazzi never far away.

Yet freedom and adventure and riches aside, the handsome youth longed for something else . . . something that had been stolen from him by a pack of hungry wolves. His mother had wrapped her boys in a warm blanket of love, but it was lost all too soon. Lonely, the young prince set off to find a love of his own to fill the empty spaces within.

Remember the plucky beauty from the land of California? By now she’d grown into something of a celebrity—hard work, lucky stars  and her natural talent for acting propelled her into the public eye—she was a celebrity with a heart of gold. Not content to blend into the background, she dazzled while devoting her spare time to helping others succeed as well. Outgoing, with a sense of adventure, she blogged her thoughts on food, travel, fashion, photography and beauty with her devoted readers. As luck would have it—not to mention social media hype among influencers, key-word optimization and data-driven visuals—before long the youngest prince was a fan of both her blog and television show. Through mutual friends, he arranged to meet her. One date led to another and soon they were deeply in love and planning their future.

As in all fairy tales and modern kingdoms, royal weddings are a big (formal) deal, steeped in ancient traditions. But our plucky beauty, true to her roots, opted for customs that reflected the diversity and inclusiveness that she valued so deeply. Unfortunately, her own father opted out of her big day—a bit of scandal nipping at his heels. And then there was her older stepsister blabbing to anyone who’d listen, spilling her thinly disguised jealousy-fueled stories about her younger, prettier half-sibling. But her mama remained true and loving, and even her soon-to-be father-in-law stepped up and walked the poor girl down that long aisle, in front of all those many hundreds of invited guests.

However, thousands of royal subjects lined the streets outside the church, cheering wildly for this union. And in the year that followed, all reacted with delight for this uncommon royal couple that promised to break with their past history of imperialism, racism and classism. Soon, in all the land—and many of their foreign colonies as well—the new royal couple was greeted with much enthusiastic fanfare and favorable publicity. Touched by this show of love and support, the new royals actually touched people back—outstretched hands were grasped, and warm hugs exchanged. In addition, these modern royals endorsed issues of social justice previously eschewed by past royal families. On one such magical tour, the announcement came that the happy couple was expecting a baby, completing the circle of love and family they both so desired.

It seemed as if this young prince had married well. But hold on. In all good fairy tales, as in much of real life, sooner or later, good meets evil, and that is what soon happened. Do you remember the evil-ish stepmother? Well, years before, in the wake of the death of the young prince’s mother, her romance with Papa Prince was not well received by the royal subjects. In fact, opinion polls showed her to be the most hated woman in all the land. But Papa Prince remained under her unbreakable spell, and despite the objections of his two sons, married her, and soon it was announced that she would eventually be queen. However, as soon as her royal ambitions were about to be realized, a strange thing occurred. The handsome prince and his bride began to sense an impending change in the wind of popular opinion. Gossip and insinuating inuendo began to follow them everywhere. Paparazzi and reporters began to publish unflattering stories, based on “leaked information” from “royal sources. ” More and more, with every passing day, their popularity declined as sheeples allowed the mass media to tell them what and how to think. Most of the unflattering criticism was directed at the plucky beauty, accusing her of being a social climber of the worst kind. There were public outcries for the modern equivalent of beheading.

Bewildered, our plucky beauty soldiered on as best she could in public, but in private she grew more and more despondent and withdrawn, fearful for her unborn child, and longing for a bit of peace and privacy. Her handsome prince was enraged to see his love wither under the harsh glare of merciless press coverage, helpless to staunch the flow of salacious gossip. In desperation, fueled by the fear that his own family was implicit in feeding his wife to the angry mob, he arranged to flee his homeland with his young family, to a place where all could be safe.

Publicly, Papa Prince was appalled and to appease the masses, promptly stripped his youngest son of all his royal titles, as well as his royal allowance. Older-brother prince and his chameleon wife were all too happy to advise the young couple not to let the gilded door hit him on his way out. And adding slander to insult, someone yet unnamed within royal circles mused unkindly about the skin color of their yet unborn child.

So away they went with noisy, ferocious packs of rabid paparazzi in full pursuit. The young prince remembered all too well from his mother’s fate what tragedy might befall his wife and newborn baby boy. Unfortunately, safety has always meant a secure home base and an extensive and well-trained security detail—all of which costs a small fortune.

And so the prince and his bride, now resettled in the land that champions capitalism and economic opportunity, did what any of their neighbors would do under similar circumstances—they sold their story to the highest bidder and became fabulously wealthy. (Updates to follow as this evolving fairytale continues to unfold . . .)

By now, unless you’ve been in a coma for a few years, you have read all the “unbiased accounts” of this famously dysfunctional royal family. This is where is where you vote for how this fairy tale ends, because life gives us choices unless you are a sheeple, in which case the 24/7 cable news channels will decide for you.

1. Dysfunctional families are not my thing. I regard all public displays of emotions as tacky. I am too distracted or emotionally reserved to care about learning from the missteps of others. I stay in my own lane and restrict my attention to reading the business section only.
2. I love a good love story . . . love conquers all. . . let everyone hug and make up. . .I see no evil and wish the young family well.
3. I am momentarily tired of the Kardashians—I love a good slug royal fest, albeit one decked out in pomp and circumstance. I root for royal traditions and mottos — “never complain and never explain—just get on with it.” “Let them eat cake”. . . and so on. Why question anything that might lead to change – especially not ask myself why I endorse such an irrelevant institution with a sordid history? I love a good competitive fight between opposing teams and all the world —thanks to mass media—is now my colosseum.
4. I relate with discomfort to human acts of cruelty, be it slavery, misogyny, genocide or bullying anyone who is relatively defenseless. I try to use discomfort as a self-assessment tool, with the goal of continuously realigning my moral compass.

And because every good fairy tale has a moral:

“What you hate in others is usually what you hate most in yourself. The people who drive you crazy do so because they reflect back at you the worst aspects of yourself that you have either tried to deny or overcome.” From The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson.

—Grace Cooper (a nom de plume), who pens Late Dates, takes a wry look at the British royals and their foibles.