Down-to-the-wire gift ideas. Clockwise, from left to right: a twinkly evening bag from Anthropologie, Bauble Bar’s crystal floral studs, a mini blush from Westman Atelier, Z Supply’s matching sweats and a charming bud vase from Terrain. 

By Janet Kelly

WE’RE fast approaching the 11^th hour, D-Day for Christmas shopping. In light of that deadline, we’ve assembled a list of 12 possible—admittedly rather random—gifts/stocking stuffers for your daughter-in-law, best buddy, cousin, you fill in the blank. Your fallback position is Amazon, which says you must order on or before Dec. 22, 2023, to take advantage of Prime two-day shipping and have your gifts arrive by Christmas. (Some items “may be available for next-day delivery when ordered on Dec. 23, 2023, depending on your location.”)

But if you live near or in an urban area, consider shopping the old-fashioned way by going to stores with brick-and-mortar locations, such as Anthropologie, Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue, Ulta and Sephora. They will be open right up to the last minute—on Dec. 24.

Make your BFF’s Christmas morning by stuffing NYX’s Fat Oil Lip Drip in her stocking. It will give her the gift of shiny, non-sticky lips. Infused with squalane for moisture, it will also protect and hydrate chapped winter pouts. Along with the “Missed Call” color above, it comes in seven other shades and can be worn as a soft tint or be paired with a favorite lipstick to add intensity. A dupe for Christian Dior’s much pricier Addict Lip Glow Oil, it sells for $9 at Ulta.

Was it your sister who said she had nothing new to wear to a New Year’s Eve party? Surprise her with Bauble Bar’s sparkling Daffodil Crystal earrings, made of pavé glass stones and gold-tone brass. At 1.1 inches long, these statement studs will dress up that black velvet jacket or pantsuit she already owns. They sell for $44 at Neiman Marcus.

There’s something charmingly old-fashioned about these moss-colored, waffle-knit Fisherman mittens. Cold hands will appreciate their soft, warm lining and that their length (10.25 inches) covers the skin well past the wrist. They sell for $44 at Terrain.

For anyone you know coping with hair loss, the rounded wide teeth of this blush pink Untangle and Glide comb will gently work through tangles while also stimulating the scalp. It’s also meant to be used in the shower for combing conditioner through one’s mane. It’s $11.49 at Ulta.

Anastasia’s Brow & Brag Duo includes two full-size products—a jet-black mascara for defining and plumping up lashes, plus a clear gel for adding fullness, styling and setting the shape of the brow. It sells for $29 at Ulta.

Is your attire for the holidays missing some bling? Fill in that gap and gift yourself or someone you like a lot with Anthropologie’s Gold Sequin Party Bag (8″h x 7″l x 1″d), embellished with glass and brass and plenty of fun fringe—for $76.80.

Z Supply has recently expanded its reach into more tailored clothes, but its wheelhouse remains casual and sporty, like its classic crew fleece sweatshirt. A pullover in a cotton-and-poly blend, with a slight drop shoulder and relaxed fit, it’s available in seven other colors for $59. For a cozy, head-to-toe, post-holiday look, spring for the matching sweatpant jogger ($64).

Makeup artist to models and movie stars, Gucci Westman launched her own makeup line, Westman Atelier, in spring 2018. The much-missed Barneys New York is where I first encountered the line.  As I know I’ve mentioned before, I’m a fan of the brand’s Lit Up Highlight Stick for the subtle glow it gives to my face. Now I’m game for adding her Baby Cheeks Lip & Cheek Cream Blush to my routine. Shown here in dusty nude rose, it comes in a petite, portable, travel-ready size for $26. This is a hint, Secret Santa.

For the Pilates practitioner on your list, pretty, printed socks will be welcomed. These half-toe “Prima Ballerinas“ allow plenty of room for toes to move and spread; a non-slip grip sole keeps feet secure on the Reformer or Cadillac, and a fitted heel ensures that socks stay put. They sell for $18 at Neiman Marcus.

My slippers have always had a short shelf life, so I’ve determined—rightly or not—that it’s hard to go wrong choosing them as a gift. That’s especially true if they’re as cute and cheerful as these soft, striped, fleeced-lined ones from Bombas. With silicone grippers on the soles, staying upright even on slippery, polished floors is assured. They sell for $40 at Saks Fifth Avenue.

Beanies, berets and/or bucket hats are not for everyone. If you know someone who fits that description, gift her with these fluffy faux fur earmuffs . They’ll keep her ears warm and won’t do as much havoc with her hair as the alternatives. They’re $48 at Free People.

When you arrive at the New Year’s Day party you’ve been invited to, bring one (or all three) of Terrain’s glass bud vases  (4″h x 2″ diameter at base and 1.25″ diameter at opening). In addition to lavender, they’re available in blue and peach and make a colorful trio. Whether one, two or three, each makes the perfect home for a petite fresh flower, a preserved stem or faux florals. They’re $13 each.

MyLittleBird often includes links to products we write about. Our editorial choices are made independently; nonetheless, a purchase made through such a link can sometimes result in MyLittleBird receiving a commission on the sale. We are also an  Amazon Associate.

iStock

By Mary Carpenter

PREVIOUS MyLittleBird columns on the effects of light on wakefulness and mood have appeared in the spring, when the “ blue” morning light that wakes us up and makes some of us happier is increasing every day. So-called blue light inhibits the creation of melatonin in the brain so that the body knows it’s time to wake up, and early morning light contains more wavelengths in the blue portion of the spectrum than light at other hours. On dark winter mornings, late sunrise can interfere with circadian rhythms, causing melatonin levels to remain high for hours after waking—which in turn can cause fatigue and depression. These winter blues affect about 14 percent of Americans, with another 6 percent suffering the more severe seasonal affective disorder, or SAD. An estimated 10 to 20 percent of all cases of recurrent depression follow a seasonal pattern, according to Medical News Today.

Women are more likely to be affected than men, and January and February are the most difficult months. Besides fatigue and depression, symptoms of SAD include weight and appetite changes, difficulty concentrating, loss of interest in social activities and feelings of anxiety and irritability. In the past, the best solution has been “light therapy,” either heading outdoors as early as possible in the morning or using a light box like the Verilux, with light measuring 5,000 lux—compared to 500 lux at sunrise, the 10,000 lux of full daylight and up to 100,000 lux for direct sunlight.

But in a recent study, six weeks of light therapy for 30 to 60 minutes upon waking worked about the same as an alternative, cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) in twice-weekly sessions over the same period. CBT taught participants to challenge negative thoughts about dark winter months and resist behaviors like social isolation. The study at the University of Vermont, published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, followed 177 subjects over three years. During the second winter, those in both treatment groups initially experienced “large improvements,” but these dwindled after a while, according to the study’s leader psychology professor, Kelly Rohan. And in the third winter, 46 percent of those using light therapy had a recurrence of depression compared to 27 percent of those who had undergone CBT.

Rohan compares light therapy to blood pressure medication, a palliative treatment that requires you to keep using it to be effective, versus CBT, which is preventive: Once learned, the impact should last because CBT teaches skills, Rohan said. And with some research showing that thoughts and behaviors play a role in SAD, CBT gives patients a sense of  control, Rohan told the Washington Post. “We can think outside of the light box. The good news is we can change our thoughts and behaviors.”

Giving CBT patients an even greater sense of control is CBT online. In recent literature reviews, some studies showed that people using internet-delivered CBT had equal or better outcomes than those using traditional in-person CBT, although study leaders caution against internet-based therapy for people with severe mental illness. An Australian study found that the free internet-based MoodGym CBT program, accompanied by brief face-to-face support from a psychologist, was an “effective treatment of depression” in a small sample of patients.

Among alternative weapons against SAD are the timing of exercise and diet. Because decreased body temperature signals the body that it’s time to sleep, 20 to 30 minutes of vigorous exercise in the morning can stave off sleepiness by raising the body temperature as much as two degrees for up to five hours. Meals high in protein also increase wakefulness, compared to high-carb meals, which make it easier to fall asleep—even when undesirable, such as at the opera. And getting protein from fatty fish like salmon can help you face winter like the Icelanders, who never seem to suffer from SAD —armed with high levels of omega-3 fats, which may stabilize mood and keep depression at bay, along with vitamin D, the “sunshine vitamin.”

But you might not want to abandon bright lights entirely, especially if body mass index (BMI) is a concern. In a Northwestern University study, for every hour that exposure to bright light was delayed, the subjects’ body mass index rose 1.28 points. Also, compared to CBT, there is nothing like the immediacy of that Verilux glow—or even better, of those first sunny springtime mornings some of us are already looking forward to.

—Mary Carpenter regularly reports on topical subjects in health and medicine.

By Janet Kelly

BEFORE JFK, Jr. was even on her radar, in the late 1980s Carolyn Bessette Kennedy’s own star was ascending. After a teaching stint, she worked as a saleswoman for Calvin Klein and climbed the ranks to become publicity director for the label’s Manhattan store. She also was a personal shopper for Klein’s high-profile clients and a style muse for Klein. Sadly, her life was cut short in 1999 when she and Kennedy (whom she married in 1996) and Bessette’s sister died in a 1999 plane crash. Now, more than 20 years later, one of the most photographed women in the world, who never gave interviews and never wore logos, is remembered in a new book, CBK: Carolyn Bessette Kennedy: A Life in Fashion ($58.50, Amazon), by Sunita Kamar Nair. It’s filled with pictures of Bessette Kennedy’s most famous looks, along with essays from and interviews with designers, including Gabriela Hearst and Yohji Yamamoto, Michael Kors, Calvin Klein and Tory Burch, about her innate sense of style.

Maybe it’s the influence of HBO’s “Succession” and the idea of “stealth wealth” clothing, but Bessette Kennedy’s understated looks have woven their way into the fashion zeitgeist. C.B.K.’s wardrobe essentials—white shirts, long pencil skirts, jeans, slip dresses and men’s overcoats dominated the 2024 spring runways.

Unlike Bessette Kennedy, Ann Lowe, a Black woman, who grew up in Clayton, Alabama, was rarely photographed and her major contributions to American style were unrecognized during her lifetime (c. 1898–1981). Lowe’s opulent evening gowns and bridal wear were sold in upscale department stores across the country. She even made Jackie Kennedy’s wedding gown and bridesmaid dresses, but when she arrived to deliver them, a butler at the Auchincloss estate told her to enter through the service entrance. (She refused.) Although Lowe’s designs regularly appeared in Vogue and Vanity Fair, her name was a well-kept secret except to rich families like the Rockefellers, the Roosevelts and the Whitneys.

New photography of her couture gowns—including details of her intricate floral embellishments—is giving her long overdue credit in Ann Lowe: American Couturier by Elizabeth Way, published this September by Rizzoli Electa. Essays discuss the hardships and achievements of Lowe’s life, profile Black designers whom she influenced and describe the heroic efforts to preserve her gowns. The book accompanies an exhibit of the same title at Winterthur in Delaware—the largest to date, featuring 40 gowns (many that have never been on public display), showing her evolution as a designer from the 1920s to the 1960s. If you can’t make it to the Brandywine Valley, you can still admire Lowe’s work at the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute fall 2023 exhibition (through March 3), “Women Dressing Women,” which celebrates the art and creativity of more than 70 womenswear designers, from 1910 to today.

Fashion historian and author of Making a Spectacle: A Fashionable History of Glasses, Jessica Glasscock dives into the history of wigs and hairpieces in Wigging Out: Fake Hair That Made Real History ($22.52, Amazon). Wigs have been around for thousands of years, covering the heads of everyone from Cleopatra and Louis XIV to Diana Ross, Naomi Campbell and 21^st-century drag queens. In ancient Egypt, they mainly served ceremonial purposes; for Roman women, human-hair wigs were the gold standard as they were for kings and queens of Europe in the late seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. One of the many reasons Marie Antoinette lost her head was over the extravagant cost of the wigs she had designed for herself—some including actual birdcages. Similarly complicated ones worn on the second season of Queen Charlotte: Bridgerton required the actress playing the queen to wear a neck brace to hold them up. Fast forward to the 1960s when fashion magazines were touting wig wardrobes, and Saks Fifth Avenue was selling $5.99 acetate wigs in colors such as mint, apricot, honey and cobalt blue.

As Glasscock sums up the story of wigs: “Sometimes they were about looking good. Somethimes they were about looking rich. Sometimes they were about looking like one still had hair …” But “where there’s a will, there’s a wig.”

If eyes are the window to the soul, then enhancing their beauty must be a good idea. In Eyeliner: A Cultural History (Amazon, $23.40), Lebanese-British journalist Zahra Hankir makes her case for the cosmetic, which has fascinated her since she was a teenager, transforming her vision of herself. Further inspired by seeing a bust of the Egyptian queen Nefertiti with her kohl-lined eyes in a Berlin museum, she set out to research the history of how humans have been drawn to lining their eyes.

She visits in Chad to interview a group of men who draw kohl on their eyes to attract females. In Iran, she discovers that wearing kohl is an act of resistance; in Mexico, a class marker. A Buddhist monk and makeup artist in Japan tells her eyeliner “accentuates what’s already there.” Traveling to the far corners of the globe, Hankir reports on how eyeliner can signal religious devotion, attract potential partners, ward off evil forces, shield eyes from the sun and communicate without saying a word.

The exhibition, “Fashioned by Sargent,” will be at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston until January 15, 2024. The next best thing to seeing it is getting a copy of the catalogue ($49.98, Amazon) of the same name accompanying the show. Gorgeous images of Sargent’s work are shown alongside equally exquisite costumes of the Gilded Age (including those worn by his sitters). Sargent was a master of showing texture, drape and the way fabrics responded to light. The pictures of sumptuous gowns, gentlemanly dressing gowns and riding clothes may tell you everything you want to know, but if not, essays by art scholars offer new insights into the works of this famous American artist.

Published in association with the Jewish Museum in New York and concurrent exhibit through Feb. 18, 2024, Mood of the Moment: Gaby Aghion and Chloé ($55.42, Amazon) offers an historical overview of fashion designer Gaby Aghion’s life, career and legacy at French fashion house Chloé. Aghion, an Egyptian emigré, who launched her line in 1952 in Paris, named her design house after a friend named Chloé (there was never a designer of that name).

Illustrated with photos of 70 years of clothing, along with sketches and advertisements, the book tells how Aghion brought a fresh, outsider perspective to French fashion, embracing a transition from haute couture to prêt-à-porter. Essays shed light on the company’s approach to fashion and how it promoted young talent. The first in a line of creative directors after Aghion who embodied and reinterpreted her original inspiration was Karl Lagerfeld, who headed design for 25 years. He was followed by Martine Sitbon, Stella McCartney, Phoebe Philo and most recently, Gabriela Hearst, who in a Washington Post Live discussion, praised Chloé for how much she had learned in her stint there and for being ahead of its time for sustainability in fashion. Hearst is back designing her own label while leading the charge for eco-friendly practices and focusing on the idea that less is more.

MyLittleBird often includes links to products we write about. Our editorial choices are made independently; nonetheless, a purchase made through such a link can sometimes result in MyLittleBird receiving a commission on the sale. We are also an  Amazon Associate.

CINEMABLEND

By Grace Cooper

IT took me many weeks to work up to watching another episode of the Golden Bachelor. Skipping quickly through the first four episodes, I wondered to myself why I dislike this show so much. At first Gerry truly did come across as genuinely charming. We cheered to think a 72-year-old widower might sincerely be looking to find true love again after the sudden death of his high school sweetheart wife of four-plus decades. I confess that all that crying he does in every episode is a bit off-putting, and I wondered if a few months of grief counseling might have been a good idea before baring his heart before a national audience. Then I considered as did so many viewers, what’s the harm in viewing Gerry simultaneously courting 20 older women in what can only be described as any elderly man’s daydream?

But there was something else…some nagging feeling that all that emotive, hyper-sincerity was just a tad too scripted. Outside of our favorite fantasy man Ted Lasso, how many real men are that sunny, vulnerable and readily communicative? It was bound to happen, but earlier this month, determined journalists from The Hollywood Reporter uncovered a darker, previously undisclosed side to Gerry’s personality.

According to corroborated interviews with anonymous sources, Gerry lied about dating a woman for 3 years, beginning just one month after his wife’s death. Gerry courted ‘Caroline’ for several months, and then, after he promised to marry her, she moved into the lake home he and his former wife had built. She recounted her surprise when unexpectedly our golden bachelor charged Caroline for half the household expenses, and according to this anonymous ex, soon after his personality began to change. A bit of a neat freak, Gerry instructed Caroline to make the bed immediately upon arising. At one point, Gerry fat-shamed this woman, telling her he wasn’t bringing her to his high school reunion because she’d gained 10 pounds from the stress of this “walking-on-eggshells” living arrangement. At that point, she agreed to move out but subsequently fell and required surgery for a broken ankle. Adding insult to injury, Gerry accused her of falling as a ruse to delay her exit. Additionally, Gerry, who was billed as a successful former restaurateur, apparently padded his resume. He had previously owned and sold a small burger joint, but in recent decades supported himself mostly as a handyman.

Back to the Golden Bachelor series…what’s really happening here? Why am I having such a visceral dislike to just another improbable mating game played out in front of millions of viewers? It occurs to me that the platform for such “reality” shows casts Gerry in the role of the consummate narcissist, and those dozens of fawning old gals in the role of helpless victim to all the games true narcissists play in everyday relationships. Week after week, we watch as Gerry “evaluates” one woman after another for worthiness. As pressure to please Gerry grows, we observe as one by one these accomplished and previously confident women are reduced to tears, anxiety attacks, paranoia and fear that this may be the week in which Gerry decides whether they will be sent packing. What we are observing is a narcissist’s fantasyland: 20 codependent women all vying for the prize—a self-absorbed, preening, love-bombing, gas-lighting, emotional manipulator.

First, I should clarify that the term “narcissist” is tossed around with reckless abandon these days. There are those exhibiting narcissistic behaviors on a spectrum of behaviors considered “normal” depending upon the situation. Then there are those animals who meet the diagnostic criteria of narcissistic personality disorder. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is the handbook widely used by clinicians and psychiatrists in the United States to diagnose psychiatric illnesses. For all intents and purposes in the dating world, it is helpful to recognize narcissistic traits to avoid getting caught up in the web of deception these individuals spin, when looking for their next source of narcissistic supply. You see, narcissists are often referred to as vampires feeding off the genuine emotional responses they provoke in the romantic partners they target.

Overt narcissists are characterized by nine criteria. First, they have a grandiose sense of self-importance. They brag and exaggerate their achievements to impress. They engage in fantasies about having superior intelligence, beauty, which entitles them to power, wealth and love. They believe they are superior and should only associate with other superior beings. They expect to be catered to or deserving of special treatment to an unreasonable degree. They become angry when they are denied. They are willing to exploit others in the pursuit of what they want. They lack empathy and hurt others without conscience. They see emotions in others as weakness. They are envious and belittle the achievements of others. They are arrogant, patronizing and condescending.

Surprisingly, at the root of this despicable personality disorder is an exceptionally fragile sense of self-esteem, leaving narcissists often experiencing bouts of depression, anxiety and emptiness. They are preoccupied with how others see them and constantly fish for compliments to fill the void inside.

The covert type of narcissist is a bit harder to spot, as they are the fragile loner types, avoiding intimacy, fearing vulnerability, frequently depressed, yet enraged when criticized or rejected. These are the perfectionists, silently seething loner types. I was previously married to this type of narcissist.

The real question to answer is why these women—why any woman— would find a narcissist irresistible, as these women all profess to be falling for Gerry. Outside the phenomena of group hysteria, and female codependency narcissists are typically charming at first, which explains the initial attraction. There are stages to normal romantic couplings, but for narcissists there are predictable patterns to what is known as the narcissistic abuse cycle.

Idealization stage: This how the seduction begins with a phenomena referred to as love-bombing. The narcissist quickly connects with you, puts you on a pedestal, idealizes you. It’s an intense, fast-moving and passionate phase that is more manipulation than love-at-first-sight.

Devaluation phase: This is when the narcissist slowly starts making you feel insecure and devalued through criticism, passive-aggressiveness, backhanded compliments, stonewalling, comparison to others and other mind games.

Repetition phase: Rinse and repeat…in this confusing stage, a narcissist idealizes, then devalues in a cyclical manner causing confusion and distress.

Discard stage: When narcissists no longer have use for relationships, they may abruptly end it. There might be gaslighting to make you feel as if you are to blame, questioning your reality. As you begin to accept and separate from the narcissist emotionally, they may also hoover you back in and initiate a cycle of abuse.

See where I am headed with this analysis? Watch a few episodes again—all the clues an armchair analyst requires to see “The Golden Bachelor” for what it really is. Gerry is the biggest lothario of all…dating multiple women…playing on their sympathies…gaslighting, love bombing, trauma bonding, triangulating, discarding and then hoovering them back in!

Finally, the grand finale. Leslie believes Gerry when he previously called her “his girl” and professed his love…but then Gerry hauls Leslie home to meet his grown kids…they give her a thumbs down…

Yep, what 72-year-old grown-ass man wouldn’t ask the kids for help in choosing his new wife?

“Be happy…” Gerry tells Leslie as he casts her adrift.

Leslie is crying…Gerry is crying about breaking a good person’s heart… “I hate myself.”

But WAIT! Gerry has already used the next line in a previous episode…

“Only time I felt worse was when my wife died,” he sobs.

Leslie calls Gerry on his duplicity and for setting her up for humiliation in front of millions of viewers…although if anyone is still watching this snoozer at this point, it’s only to view this final discard stage.

Gerry at last officially picks Teresa, the swell gal who was manipulative enough to throw Kathy under the bus by tattling to Gerry, for daring to call her on being…well… manipulative!

Here comes the big predictable fake out…

“Teresa, you’re not the right person for me to live with.”

Long dramatic pause…Teresa wrings her hands and swoons…

“You’re the person that I can’t live without.”

Dropping to one knee, out comes the ring some producer purchased and slipped into Gerry’s pocket.

Teresa beams…

Gerry is wiping away tears…

Stay tuned for the big Golden Wedding set for January 4, 2024.

In the meantime, listen to: 48 Best Songs About Narcissists (with Playlist)

Grace Cooper (a nom de plume) left her long marriage a decade ago, and with it went all sense of her identity—but not for long. Now 67, she has begun chronicling her tales of looking for love in all the wrong places.

Get these in your clutches. From left to right, a beaded martini glass from Judith Leiber, a fringe choice, a pop of pink from DeMellier, Fendi’s sleek style for minimalists,, a bubbly blue confection from Benedetta Bruzziches and Cult Gaia’s sculpted caldera. 

By Janet Kelly

PLUSHY velvets, adorable Mary Janes, fab faux furs. Perhaps you’ve noticed my latest posts on gussying up for a busy holiday season—in the midst of Christmas doings, remember Hanukkah begins tomorrow, Dec. 7. If you’re becoming anxious looking for a dress or jacket or skirt, think small-er. You don’t need to go for broke on a new outfit; sometimes all it takes to recharge the look of what you already own is the right accessory—say a big jeweled brooch, satin shoes or an oh-so-chic clutch, which is what I’ve spent the past week tracking down.

Unlike Financial Times writer Carola Long who amusingly rants about the impracticality of this bag style, I’m a fan of a clutch’s simpler lines, particularly for pairing with party clothes be it a flowing long gown or leather pants and a velvet jacket. I do confess they can be awkward to handle during cocktail hours, when you’re also balancing a Negroni and a plate of canapés. Of course, most clutches now come with detachable slim chains or straps to avoid any acrobatic moves on your part.

But whether they’re embellished with crystal beads like Judith Leiber’s or Kate Spade’s or sequins like Mango’s —or crafted in gold leather with fringe effects like Cult Gaia’s— the 14 clutch bags below are designed to dazzle.

Just imagine how well this art deco-inspired matchbook clutch will accent a black velvet jacket, an LBD or a red blazer. Made of resin, embellished with red and white bits of crystal, it’s glam all on its own and practical to boot. Measuring 4.5″ high x 7.25”wide x 2”deep, it will accommodate the current iPhone, has interior slots to keep your cards safe and a chain strap with a 22-inch drop for when you don’t feel like clutching it. Originally $528, it’s now selling for $275 at Kate Spade New York.

Whether you want to hold it in your hand or dangle it from your shoulder—with its long detachable chain strap—Mango’s clutch bag (4.72″h x 2.76″w x 9.45″l ) will amp up your party look. It’s also available in chocolate brown, but we’d choose the sparkling sequins in red for the most bang for your buck. It sells for $80.

A confection of glossy satin and tulle, Jimmy Choo’s Cloud Bow-Embellished Clutch is Lilliputian-sized (measuring 2.8″high x 4.7″wide x 2″deep and weighing 1.1 pounds), just big enough for a lipstick and cardholder. Nestle it next to your evening attire and when you want to sip and snack, let it drop artfully from its chain. It sells for $1,795 at Net a Porter.

It’s a book cover, it’s a bag, it’s art! Actually, it’s all three. Olympia Le-Tan reimagines Edgar Degas’ 1897 “Blue Dancers” pastel painting in this Ballerinas Book Clutch, hand-embroidered by Portuguese artisans with silk thread and felt appliqués. Lined in a Liberty print, it sells for $1,690 at Matches Fashion.

A sleek envelope clutch can read businesslike but when it’s covered in a shiny metallic, as is this Evie Clutch (6-by-9 inches), it can also say dressy. No matter where you carry it, it will brighten up a dark December day. Tuck it under your arm or hang from your shoulder with its adjustable chain strap. It sells for $248 at Frances Valentine.

Known for its original designs, Cult Gaia’s new Caldera Clutch (5.10″h x-3.3″w x 11″l) takes its name from the circular depression that forms after a volcanic eruption. Dents in the ultra-shiny silver (it also comes in shiny gold, red and blue) shell make it look like an unfinished sculpture. It’s big enough to hold a Pro size iPhone, but when not using, consider it arty decor. Set it down on its flat bottom to show it off. It sells for $598.

When you just need to carry some essentials, this small (5.12″h x 2.76″w x 2″l) neat and compact faux croc clutch ($39.99) from Mango will meet your needs. It comes with a detachable chain strap and closes with a magnetic button.

London-based accessories designer Anya Hindmarch is known for combing a sense of humor with quality craftsmanship. In lightweight, hand-woven leather, the Neeson Tassel Clutch incorporates the brand’s signature woven bow and leather tassel. A detachable wristlet offers hands-free carrying. Also available in holiday-ish gold, bronze and black velvet, the bag sells for $795.

Say hello to your inner flapper girl with this fun, Fringe Embellished Clutch from Cult Gaia. Nano-sized (4.1″h x 2.3″w x 1″d), the shell-shaped bag shimmers with golden tassels crowned with tiny balls. Should you want more sparkle, attach the metallic leather strap. The brushed brass bag sells for $528 at Neiman Marcus.

Anthropologie’s Frankie Clutch bears a strong resemblance to Bottega Veneta’s popular oversize pouch sans the oversize price tag. In a shiny red (above) or blue, black or green polyurethane, it’s not too precious or finicky to reserve for special occasions. At 5″ high by 9.5″ long by 3″ deep, it’s roomy enough for essentials and more day or night. It’s $78.

Position DeMellier’s Mini Cannes bag (8.75″ l x 5″d) in Barbie pink against your hip where it will add a pop of color to your winter clothing and maybe even boost your mood, too. It sells for $350 at Shopbop.

A sculptural oval bubble of air and color in plexiglass, topped with a crystal clasp and lined in silk, Benedetta Bruzziches’ denim-hued Ariel Clutch (4.75″h x 9.75″w x 2.5″d) sells for $2,875 at Saks Fifth Avenue.

Judith Leiber may be gone, but the glitter and the brand live on—for example, in this couture clutch bag in a martini glass shape, complete with a trio of olives. Beaded in crystals on a framed, hard-shell body, the top is lined in metallic. Its diminutive proportions (8″h x 5″w x 5″d) indicate it’s not meant to hold much more than a lipstick. Necessities like phones and eyeglasses, well, forget about those. The witty work of art sells for $5,795 at Neiman Marcus.

Minimalists with deep pockets will swoon over Fendi’s First Small Black  nappa leather bag (18cm h x 26cm w x 9.5cm d) with its sleek lines and oversize metal F clasp. It sells for $3,190.

MyLittleBird often includes links to products we write about. Our editorial choices are made independently; nonetheless, a purchase made through such a link can sometimes result in MyLittleBird receiving a commission on the sale. We are also an  Amazon Associate.

Clockwise from top left: Bright and shiny patent leather block heels from Carel, demure satin flats from Sandy Liang, Larroude’s denim Mary Jane and metallic low-heeled styles from Miu Miu and Louboutin.

By Janet Kelly

The beauty of Mary Janes, like these suede Gemini Ballet Flats, is you can slip them on and loosen or tighten to fit your foot.  Classic shoes with a practical rubber outsole in an unexpected animal print, they sell for $98 at Free People.

Sandy Laing who began her fashion career designing much-loved fleeces has now expanded her reach to girly dresses—and shoes, too. Her satin ballet flats, such as this MJ Double Strap, have been so popular she’s now taking pre-orders. The icy blue shoe shown above is expected to ship in late December. But whenever they arrive, with thanks to a padded leather footbed and about a one-inch stacked heel, you’ll want to dance the nights away. The shoes sell for $550.

Give your feet the royal treatment (Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton both wear Sarah Flint shoes). In these navy croc-embossed patent leather flats, quality construction —the lining and insole are stitched together for a flexible fit— meets comfort—extra foot padding—with a soupçon of toe cleavage for sex appeal. They sell for $396 now, reduced from $495.

A chic shoe that won’t cram your toes, the Goldfinch Jeweled Mary Jane Ballet Flat is made from a silky velvet embossed with a paisley print. But it’s the tiara-inspired jeweled strap that makes it a good choice for turning a simple black dress or any outfit at all into something festive. It sells for $122, reduced from $175 at Birdies. It’s available in several other sparkly variations, along with one in black leather, adorned with a green-and-blue jeweled snake!

‘Tis the season for celebrating. Even if you’re not feeling it, slip your footsies into Larroudé’s wine-colored velvet flat with its bright jeweled buckle—on an adjustable strap—and you’ll look festive. And because the rules of fashion have loosened up so much, it’s more than okay to pair these lush shoes with your jeans. They sell for $330.

Boden’s double-strap Mary Janes, a modern take on the classic like Miu Miu’s below, will flatter thin ankles. Although these flats in bronze crinkle leather are all but sold out (Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales promotions), they’re also available in black or hot pepper patent leather for $96—in limited sizes.

In place of leather and suede, a dark-wash denim updates the classic, girly Mary Jane. Also amping up the cool factor is the contrast between the crystal-embellished buckle strap and the sturdy familiar fabric. Larroude’s chic flat sells for $315 at Shopbop.

In glossy metallic leather with a double-buckled vamp and low block heel, Christian Louboutin’s rose-gold Sweet Jane Flats sells for $895 at Moda Operandi.

I have my reservations about the mesh shoe trend. What I like about Manolo Blahnik’s Mary Jane point toe flat is the reinforced toe and heel, so those parts of the foot are not laid so bare. The flocked polka dots and grosgrain trim are also welcome additions. Sadly, though, these shoes are practically sold out. For something similar—and less expensive—see Margaux’s The Pointe.

Keep your ankles secure with the rhinestone buckled straps on Reformation’s shiny silver Mimi Buckle Pumps (mid-block, 2-inch- high heel). Already sold out in some popular sizes, they sell for $150 at Farfetch.

Have a slew of places to go, people to see this December and in the foreseeable future? Then you can amortize (rationalize) the wear of these spendy but adorable Miu Miu kitten heels (1 inch high) in silver patent with a slick black toe cap. They sell for $1,200.

French brand Carel has been around since the early ’50s, “preventing women from walking sadly.” Practical (a low—1.5-inch—block heel) and elegant in patent leather that’s so shiny, it looks almost varnished, these burgundy Mary Jane pumps will cover your sartorial needs from day to night. Think Catherine Deneuve or Inès de la Fressange. They sell for $535 and come in several other colors.

One-two, you can buckle these MJ Double Strap satin shoes. They’ve been so popular that designer Sandy Liang has started to take pre-orders (the website says they’re expected to ship in late December). Late for the holidays maybe, but you can dance the nights away the rest of the year. A padded footbed will cushion your footsies. Also available in black leather and red satin, they sell for $55o.

Reduced from $150 to $109.95 at Anthropologie, these Angel Alarcon flats may go a strap too far for comfort for some of you. On the plus side, they have rubber soles. Note: they’re no longer available in red—only in black or beige leather or black patent leather.

And more for those who prefer to go strap-less:

Zara’s sparkly ballet flats sell for $59.90.

Aquazurra’s crystal flats are discounted to $477 from $795 at Shopbop.

MyLittleBird often includes links to products we write about. Our editorial choices are made independently; nonetheless, a purchase made through such a link can sometimes result in MyLittleBird receiving a commission on the sale. We are also an  Amazon Associate.

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By Mary Carpenter

POLITICAL COACHES on “The Good Wife” TV series advised against sitting with legs crossed at the knees because that position causes slumping. If legs must cross, they should do so at the ankles. Crossing legs at the knees has been blamed for an array of orthopedic problems — and may cause varicose veins, though some experts say that’s pure medical myth.

(In a Wall Street Journal article on the subject, the position called “sitting crossed-legged” is accompanied by photos of women’s legs crossed at the knees —as distinguished from the meditation position seated on the floor with legs crossed.)

Sitting crossed-legged puts pressure on the lower knee, unnaturally twists both knees, rotates and strains the pelvis and hunches the lower back, according to Dr. Naresh Rao, osteopath at NYU Langone Medical Center and medical advisor to the 2016 U.S. Olympic water polo team. Keeping your knees in a misaligned position for a long period of time is the most common cause of knee pain, he says, advising against sitting crossed-legged “for longer than you drink a cup of coffee.”

Crossed legs can cause a temporary rise in blood pressure—which is why blood pressure techs ask you to uncross your legs for the test—but have no long-term consequences. For those at high risk for blood clots, however, sitting crossed-legged for long periods of time could lead to deep vein thrombosis, the formation of a blood clot in a deep vein that can be life-threatening if it travels to the lungs and creates the serious blockage called pulmonary embolism.

Why people get varicose veins—or the smaller spider veins—is usually explained by family history, age and sex. Women make up three-fourths of varicose vein sufferers due to hormone changes during pregnancy and menopause. Taking hormone replacement or birth control pills can increase the risk. But why some women are more at risk than others is considered something of a mystery.

Blood flows through the veins en route back to the heart after delivering oxygen throughout the body—hence its blue, deoxygenated hue. With age, tiny valves in the blood vessels designed to prevent blood from flowing back in the wrong direction can become stretched and weakened, allowing blood to pool and enlarge the veins.

Varicose veins—and the tinier spider veins that are often precursors—rarely create more than cosmetic problems, but some cause aches and pains as well as nighttime cramping and throbbing. Complications can occur with long-term fluid build-up, so that discolored spots on the skin, sudden leg swelling and bleeding all require immediate medical attention.

The best way to prevent varicose veins is to avoid standing for long periods, Johns Hopkins dermatologist Robert Weiss told WebMD.  The number two tip: “Avoid sitting with your legs crossed, it puts terrible pressure on the veins.”  (Other tips involve avoiding tight clothing that constricts the waist, groin or legs; high heels worn for long periods of time; and high salt-diets.) When sitting for long periods while traveling or working on a computer, the advice ranges from getting up and walking at least every hour—to every 15 minutes.

On the other hand, Dr. Rao has seen no studies that prove a correlation between unsightly veins and leg-crossing. Put more firmly, vascular surgeon Jon Modrall at the University of Arkansas writes on the university website: “Crossing your legs does not cause varicose veins.”

To ease discomfort and keep varicose veins from getting worse, the first step is compression stockings—worn all day—along with exercising, losing weight, wearing loose clothing, elevating the legs and avoiding long periods of sitting or standing. Spider veins can be worsened by sun exposure.  (Varicose veins that develop during pregnancy usually improve without treatment within a year after delivery.)

Veins that become varicose are usually close to the skin’s surface—while the more important veins taking blood to the heart lie deeper—and can thus be removed or destroyed. Until the early 2000s, the main treatment (called “stripping”) involved inserting a metal rod into the vein, at the groin and then down the leg, and then pulling it out to destroy the vein. Since then, a thin catheter or a laser can use radio waves to shrink the vessel wall and cause it to collapse and be re-absorbed. Once the varicose veins are gone, deeper veins take over the flow.

For those who are much more comfortable with legs crossed, one study  tested different positions on embalmed pelvises and found that crossing legs at the knee increased elongation in the piriformis muscle, which runs behind the hip joint—compared both with sitting with legs uncrossed and with standing—thereby increasing stability in the pelvic joints.

Getting into the minutiae of leg crossing, one study found that almost twice as many people reported crossing their right leg over the left knee rather than the other way around. And surveys have noted that, for those sitting nearby, the legs-crossed position is hands down preferable to man-spreading.

—Mary Carpenter regularly reports on topical subjects in health and medicine.

Mead connects to the music. / Photo courtesy of videographer Michael Savisky.

Maestro, the film about Leonard Bernstein’s life and loves, is now in theaters. INCYMI, we’re reposting MyLittleBird’s interview with violinist and Carnegie Mellon University professor Monique Mead, whose mentor was Bernstein. 

MLB: You juggle many balls at once—you’re not only a solo violinist, you also teach music students at CMU how to have successful careers. You organize a concert series for families with autism and hold a yearly workshop in Olympic National Park to promote young musical talent. During February you’re the head honcho for Rancho La Puerta’s chamber music week, and in your spare time, you lead sound healing classes. Did I forget something? Oh yes, your involvement with the Lullaby Project, which pairs new and expecting parents and caregivers with professional artists to write and sing personal lullabies for their babies.

Phew! What drives you?

MM: I focus on being a violinist. But my intent is to use music to uplift humanity. And my performances always have a pedagogical bent.

Get your fluff on. From left to right, Stand Studio’s striped blazer, Revolve’s luxe look in gray-blue and Kate Spade’s snuggly jacket in dark chartreuse.

By Janet Kelly

WAAAY back when, I was the proud owner of a wonderful raccoon coat—toasty warm and a lot less spendy than a mink. Retailers christened it a “fun fur.” Fast-forward to winter 2023, and some of the trendiest coats on the market can’t claim to have a single hair of fur—they’re 100% polyester or a polyester-acrylic blend.

Faux fur is not new, however. As a story in Smithsonian magazine explains: “Fur is no longer the status symbol it used to be, and while some credit can be given to public awareness campaigns orchestrated by animal rights groups, it’s largely thanks to the proliferation of fake furs that began to hit the market more than a century ago.” The “high prices for real furs and the excellence of textile furs contribute to make the large manufacturers of women’s garments… more active than before,” remarked one designer who went on to create many of the plush faux leopards of the 1950s.

New or not so new, today’s flock of faux looks better than ever with pops of color, animal patterns and a variety of textures and shapes. These fun furs are competing for dollars with down coats, which have ruled retail for at least a decade or more. Because warmth is one of my priorities for choosing outerwear, I was curious whether a faux fur could compete in that category with my reliable puffer. Preeti Arya, assistant professor, Textile Development and Marketing, at New York City’s Fashion Institute of Technology, set me straight: “Fake furs are warm because they can trap body heat due to the thickness and length of the fur, which is also enhanced by the presence of a lining.” Denser materials with layers offer good insulation from the cold, she said.

So, here, 13 faux fur coats and jackets tempting me today:

Whether you’re walking Fido in your sweats or heading to a swank soirée in a silky slip dress, you’ll look glam in this plush faux fur (100% polyester) with wide, face-framing collar, a limited edition from the J. Crew Collection. It’s now selling for $439.50 (a 20% reduction from the original $550).

As I’ve mentioned before (at least I think so), animal prints are baaack this winter (er, they never really go out of style) and making a statement in faux fur. An oversize shawl collar, hidden hook-and-eye closures, front pockets and a satiny lining add to the appeal and wearability of this Bengal Kiss Coat from Unreal Fur. It’s $549 at Free People.

A faux fur trench ($398) from Alo Yoga—who would have thunk it? Cut long and oversize, the unisex style with zippered pockets and sleek satin lining ranks “warmer” according to Alo’s scale, which rates the coat as “perfect solo or layered for the coldest weather.” Availability is limited in this gray/lavender hue (shown above), which sells for $398.

High-end designers like Missoni have fallen for faux fur, too. Shown on the label’s fall/winter 2023 runway, this multicolored, zigzag-pattern coat sells for $1,827, reduced from $2003.75 on Italist. Don your retro sunnies when you wear it slope side in St. Moritz or Aspen—or anywhere you want to dress to impress.

When you’re jonesing for a jacket that’s sleeker and more fitted than LNA’s but still has a print on the wild side, set your sights on Mother’s Pony Keg Cheetah Faux Fur Jacket ($325, Neiman Marcus).

Remember shrugs back in the early aughts? That’s what Mango’s Fur Effect Jacket reminds me of. A useful piece of fluff—for layering over your party dress when you’re hopping from outside to in and then later for draping over your shoulders when you feel a chill or just for how chic it looks. The cropped jacket sells for $159.99.

Let’s talk cozy chic. Trimmed with a splash of multi-colored faux fur, Lisa Todd’s merino-wool Moonstruck Sweater Jacket will keep you feeling warm this winter inside or out. It sells for $475.

From Stand Studio, known for its clean-lined Scandinavian design in leather and its colorful faux fur, comes this stunning Double-Breasted Faux Fur Jacket with a striped texture and blazer-like fit. It sells for $595 at Nordstrom.

Such a cute, curly-textured faux shearling bomber jacket. It’s $158 from Avec Les Filles at Anthropologie.

If this looks familiar, it’s because you’ve seen it here before—in pine green. We like this mid-length Plush Faux Fur Jacket ($498) in dark chartreuse with a leopard-print lining just as much.

Danish designer Sonja Davidsen says she’s inspired by Scandinavian minimalism and LA glamor. Her oversize Copenhagen Faux Fur Coat in ice blue stands out from the rest of the crowd with its curvy panels. It sells for $600 at Revolve.

MyLittleBird often includes links to products we write about. Our editorial choices are made independently; nonetheless, a purchase made through such a link can sometimes result in MyLittleBird receiving a commission on the sale. We are also an  Amazon Associate.

Among our picks for sweater weather, from left to right, a heart-print sweatshirt, a cozy cow knit and a colorful crewneck.

By Janet Kelly

IT’S A banner season for sweaters—and we’ve got a whole bunch of cute ones to show you. Quarter zips, half-zips, printed sweatshirts, knits with cows and ducks and squirrels, polos, a varsity style, even a vintage-looking cardigan. Below, take a look at our suggestions for sweater weather:

I’m a sucker for face-framing quarter-zip sweaters, such as this one from Ba&Sh in rich maroon (haven’t seen this color in a while, and I welcome a comeback). A soft alpaca blend keeps your top half warm while you party in, say, a short, sparkly sequin skirt or a longer, more demure style. The Baltan sweater sells for $375.

Lilac for winter —yes, please. Faherty’s cotton-blend sweater polo is the sort of thing you didn’t know you needed until you bought it and found yourself wearing it on repeat—by itself or under a blazer, the season’s essential. Did you notice the gray line circling the cuff? Note to self: violet and light gray play well together. Also available in oatmeal, navy and olive, it sells for $158.

The usually collar-less cardigan is appointed by a wide ruff edged with crochet and matching buttons for a distinctly feminine and retro vibe. The merino wool Bettany cardigan in “vintage blue” is $170 at French label Sézane.

Sometimes you feel like a sweatshirt —and this mock-neck style with a boxy, oversized fit couldn’t be cuter or comfier. Although this pattern in lilac is nearly sold out, the good news is that the all-cotton sweatshirt is available in 18 other prints/colors, ranging from a gray, black and white argyle pattern to botanical and polka dot prints. They all sell for $98 at Anthropologie.

Emily Bode recently turned her talented eye to women’s clothing, designing unique pieces using antique textiles that include quilts, grain sacks and bed linens. A bold bovine meanders over the landscape of this udder-ly cozy all-wool crewneck sweater, inspired by a ’70s sweatshirt. It’s $730 at Nordstrom.

Fashion has fallen for fauna on sweaters embroidered with barnyard animals and big game, too. Keep au courant with today’s cropped silhouette in Sea NY’s Fair Isle raglan-sleeve sweater (all merino wool).  A winner for your cold-weather wardrobe with cute sheep gamboling above the ribbed hem, it sells for $395 at Tuckernuck.

Designed in London by a small team, Kitri (named for the sassy heroine in the Don Quixote ballet) produces its styles in limited quantities with the goal of offering fresh fashions each month without overproducing. Plus, their small output means it’s not likely you’ll bump into your same outfit. This playful oversize bouclé knit with a leopard-inspired pattern sells for $220 at Shopbop.

So many things to like about this Boden Fair Isle sweater ($130), made from a wool blend with a soupçon of cashmere for softness. It’s the antidote to a dull day with its white duckies and raspberry-pink squirrels frolicking along the front and back of this whimsical knit.

I like the sporty, preppy vibe of this striped polo ($129), which is knit with mostly wool and a bit (5 percent) of cashmere. While neither sporty nor preppy is Massimo Dutti’s main wheelhouse, their “rugby” sweater competes well on style and price with the retro athletic styles of brands like Sporty & Rich and High Sport.

Yes, stripes are everywhere. Z Supply used to be best known for its oversize T-shirts, sweats and cuddly socks, but in the past couple of years, the label has evolved, expanding its range with cozy sweaters like this half-zip style in a cotton blend. The mid-weight, relaxed-fitting ribbed-knit sweater with chunky collar looks terrific with jeans; it sells for $89.

Be that woman in red in J. Crew’s hip-length, deep V-neck sweater ($118), a blend of merino wool, alpaca and acrylic. Layer it over a white T-shirt or button-up with a pair of jeans or a denim midi skirt. For a festive touch, show off the neckline with a chunky gold necklace and pair your top half with white stretch velvet pants. Expect compliments.

Wear your heart on your sleeves —and all over in this cotton sweatshirt ($88) from Anthropologie. It will instantly elevate the  your sweats or old jeans whether you’re just kicking around the house, running errands or . . .  .

If you crave color, hit the buy button on Mother’s cable-knit crewneck with its bright pink, blue and yellow stripes and checks popping out against a cream background. It sells for $350 at Anthropologie.

If you want to purchase this cotton-blend cardigan ($99.99) in navy, you’ll have to put your name on Mango’s waiting list. I’m particularly in like with the look of a varsity jacket—without the bulk and weight. And it’s cropped! As we have suggested before, to avoid showing a slice of stomach, layer it under a long button-up shirt and leave the bottom half of the blouse hanging out.

La Ligne’s Marlow Sweater ($295) is sold out in all except sizes small and medium. But if you can snag one, this cotton cable pullover with black cording threaded through eyelets will complement the look of any one of  those pairs of black pants we know you’ve accumulated in your wardrobe.

MyLittleBird often includes links to products we write about. Our editorial choices are made independently; nonetheless, a purchase made through such a link can sometimes result in MyLittleBird receiving a commission on the sale. We are also an  Amazon Associate.

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In case you missed Mary Carpenter’s post on capsaicin’s role in pain relief, we’re republishing it in appreciation of the groundbreaking work of the 2021 Nobel Prize winners in Physiology or Medicine. 

By Mary Carpenter

THE PAIN-relieving action of capsaicin—molecules responsible for the “heat” in chili peppers and the pungency of horseradish and wasabi—played a starring role in groundbreaking research that led to the 2021 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine. According to Brazilian capsaicin researchers, “We can fairly consider capsaicin as one of the most important sources of knowledge in the pain field.”

At the same time that capsaicin causes intense burning pain, it can conversely act as an analgesic (in formulations of cream and patches), countering pain that is both immediate and chronic. (“Chronic” pain by definition lasts longer than three months after the onset of injury or disease, or causes 10 or more missed work days/year.) Most often used in treatment for nerve pain, such as that of shingles and diabetic neuropathy, capsaicin can also relieve the discomfort of both rheumatoid and osteoarthritis.

(In addition, capsaicin spray used regularly over two weeks can provide long-term relief to sufferers of perennial sniffles that are caused by non-allergic hyperreactivity of the nasal passages. And topical applications can decrease sensations of itching as well as pain by causing the “defunctionalization” of relevant brain pathways.

One motivation for seeking better chronic pain treatment is the recent documentation of increased pain in dementia patients beginning years before their diagnosis. In a study of almost 10,000 British government employees, those who developed dementia reported slightly more pain as early as 16 years before that diagnosis, according to researchers at the Université de Paris. Whether chronic pain might cause or accelerate the onset of dementia, or may be simply associated with dementia because both are caused by some other factor, results suggest chronic pain might be an early indicator of dementia.

After similar findings among about 2,500 enrollees in the Framingham heart study, researchers hypothesized that “widespread pain could be a preclinical phase” of dementia — as a result of either lifestyle factors associated with chronic pain, such as decreased exercise; or higher brain levels of cortisol, caused by many stressors, that can affect cognitive decline.

The 2021 Nobel Prize winners, neuroscientist Arden Patapoutian at Scripps and physiologist David Julius at UCFS, located the gene that makes cells sensitive to heat — by way of turning on channels in peripheral sensory nerves that respond by sending pain signals to the brain. Disabling the gene in order to block sensation would be risky because sensitivity to touch helps protect against harm from burning stovetops and scalding water, and because these channels also help control body temperature.

“The sense of touch is unique in perceiving stimuli both physical (temperature, mechanical) and chemical (compounds that cause pain and itch) in nature,” according to Patapoutian, also a Howard Hughes Medical Institute researcher. “In each modality, touch neurons distinguish noxious (painful) from innocuous stimuli, and the sensitization of touch neurons in response to injury and inflammation is the basis for many clinically relevant chronic pain states.”

Repeated exposure to “counterirritants” like topical capsaicin that act to increase nerve stimulation can make peripheral cells less sensitive. At lower doses, topical capsaicin relieves pain at its local source, similarly to topical NSAIDS like Voltaren. And at the high concentrations available in prescription patches, capsaicin’s effectiveness against pain has matched that of oral drugs like gabapentin —without the side effects that include sleepiness and dizziness; or even those of OTC NSAIDS, notably stomach problems.

High-dose patches applied for 60-minute periods in a doctor’s office—often after topical numbing—can produce analgesia lasting three to six months. And liquid injectable capsaicin, under development for knee joint pain, could produce more long-lasting effects.

For self-treatment of arthritis pain, “it makes sense to give capsaicin a two-week trial to see how it works for you,” according to Clinical Medicine Professor Ted Fields at Weill Cornell Medical College and New York’s Hospital for Special Surgery. Fields suggests starting with a mid-strength (.075%) OTC patch: “if you find the burning sensation too much to cope with,” then go down to the milder strength (.025%).

Self-administering capsaicin patches, though less unpleasant after prior numbing with ice, requires care to keep treated areas away from direct heat—for example, removing the patches at least an hour before taking a hot shower or sauna as well as before vigorous exercise. And to be sure capsaicin does not come into contact with broken skin or eyes, hand-washing after use is crucial —some people wear gloves at night to protect their eyes.

To be worth trying, because capsaicin can be so unpleasantly irritating and because it requires such care in application, the pain being treated has to be severe enough and resistant to other remedies. For my own knees, topical Voltaren seems to have little medicinal effect but creates a soothing massage for sore knees that seems preferable to burning skin. For combating my perennial non-allergic sniffles, on the other hand, capsaicin provides immediate relief and an appealingly more natural option than everyday squirts of Flonase.

—Mary Carpenter regularly reports on topical subjects in health and medicine.

By Grace Cooper

To listen to while reading: “Both Sides Now” by Joni Mitchell 

APOLOGIES for being unable to sit through another episode of “The Golden Bachelor,” ABC’s newest reality “how-to-find-love-in-all-the-most-public-of-forums” show. Like our over-emoting, golden bachelor Gerry, this one was just too gosh darn cute and unrealistic to hold my attention for long. Besides, those women…such denial, such sexist drivel, so embarrassing to have mature, accomplished women still being portrayed in such a manner.

After all, I did come of age in the ’60s and ’70s. Back then Joan Baez and Bob Dylan set the tone for my romantic-activist relationship goals, while Joni Mitchell’s wistful and starkly personal lyrics echoed the angst of knowing we’d have to someday choose between family life and freedom to follow our true passions. Ultimately, I drank the Kool-Aid of my mother’s generation and played the role of accomplished medical professional, but my alter ego was a codependent, validation-seeking housewife to one narcissistic, controlling man. How exhausting it felt to play that role for 57 years, yet how terrifying it felt to leave without a replacement identity. What to do and how to be, in this next and final phase of life?

Maybe it’s because I’d enjoyed too many episodes of “The Golden Girls” back in the day that I anticipated my golden years being ones in which I could finally hang up the hang-ups. Somehow, I’d hoped there’d be a more interesting way to live my life that lay beyond age 45’ish, the expiration date society places on what is considered desirable and interesting for women. Remember those outspoken Golden Girl queens with their own award winning, seven-season sitcom? Nobody messed with sarcastic, short-tempered Dorothy, aside from her quick-witted, straight-talking Sicilian mama, Sophia. Sweetly dim-witted Rose with the pointless, yet hilarious stories of growing up on a farm in St. Olaf, Minnesota, was the perfect counterpoint to Southern Belle, man-hungry, unapologetically promiscuous Blanche. Now those gals made growing older seem somehow safer, saucier and rich with true friendship, if not possibility.

Yet, there I was approaching 60, a golden girl in my own right and itching for yet another shot at romantic adventure. What a wild ride that was at times to jump into the shallow end of the geriatric dating pool à la Match.com. All first impressions and starry-eyed expectations were soon dashed as one by one disappointing date after another, I lost my naiveté and found my true muse in—of all people—Martha F#@%ing Stewart .

Ok, I know Martha evokes all sorts of unpleasant emotions for many Boomer women and most Boomer men, with the improbable exception of her BFF rapper Snoop Dog. In fact, in the past I found Martha to be just one more condescending, perfectionistic snob. But bear with me here for a moment. Martha is one of the most interesting contrasts in what it means to be a contemporary woman. She began her career as a stockbroker and simultaneously posed as a fashion model. Later, she became the undisputed duchess of domesticity who singlehandedly built her brand into a billion-dollar nest (Arauchana) egg. She practically screams: Just try to fit me into one of your polarized, patriarchal perceptions of femininity. Martha was the badass mistress of all the above and I grew to love her for it.

Who can forget that back in the day of truly egregious white-collar crime, the SEC was hungry to prosecute anyone that it plucked Martha’s low-hanging fruit and accused her of insider trading. Although the charges of securities fraud were thrown out, Ms. Stewart was found guilty of four counts of obstruction of justice and lying to investigators. She was sentenced to a federal penitentiary for five months plus another five of home arrest. Despite the untrue rumors that Martha led how-to classes for her fellow inmates, she was assigned the lowly task of scrubbing floors. Still, upon her release, she spoke with great humility about the true friends she made among fellow inmates and of the old friends and family who publicly supported her in her hour of need. Martha was far from finished, however.

In a 2000 New Yorker article, “The Promises Martha Stewart Made- and Why We Wanted to Believe Them,” Joan Didion—always the smartest individualist in any situation—rose to the defense of Martha Stewart. In a feminist manifesto, she calls out those who gloatingly deconstruct successful women who dare to infiltrate the old boys club of corporate power brokers.“Misogynistic in a cartoon way,” she says. “Oddly uncomfortable, a little too intent on marginalizing a rather considerable number of women by making light of their situations and their aspirations.”

Didion explains that Martha prevails, despite her much-dissected personal travails—divorce after 26 years from Andy who married Martha’s much younger personal assistant, one-time estrangement from only daughter, Alexis, and later, of course, her prison sentence. And then there was that 1997 New York Times bestseller, Just Desserts, an unauthorized biography of Martha Stewart by Jerry Oppenheimer, in which the author set out to shatter the myth of Martha. One Amazon reviewer had this to say: “You’ll want to wear old clothes: Jerry Oppenheimer’s biography of Style Doyenne Martha Stewart is a frenzy of mud slinging.” With chapter titles like “A Dysfunctional Family,” you know exactly what to expect—but Stewart is such a big, fat target that the book is entertaining anyway.

Recently, Martha made history again when at age 81, she posed for the cover of Sports Illustrated—the magazine’s oldest female cover star. Accused of everything from plastic surgery to heavy airbrushing, the nonplussed Martha denied all the above, but admitted to thrice-weekly Pilates classes, a healthy diet, no alcohol, a spray tan, full-body waxing and more frequent facials. I tend to believe her…Martha has been promoting a healthy, balanced lifestyle forever, but even if she has nipped and tucked, so what? Once again, Martha dismisses all critics with an outrageously wicked sense of humor. Case in point…Roast Revenge – Martha Stewart’s Best Comebacks.

Despite all the controversy that has always surrounded Martha, the Martha Stewart brand is the woman herself, and Martha the brand remains unreproachable, and in many ways thoroughly approachable.

Wrote Joan Didion, “On October 19th, the evening of her triumphant I.P.O., she explained, on “The Charlie Rose Show,” the genesis of the enterprise. “I was serving a desire—not only mine, but every homemaker’s desire, to elevate that job of homemaker,” she said. “It was floundering, I think. And we all wanted to escape it, to get out of the house, get that high-paying job and pay somebody else to do everything that we didn’t think was really worthy of our attention. And all of a sudden, I realized: it was terribly worthy of our attention.”

12 years post-divorce and unapologetically following my own late-life second act, I tip my hat to the good-enough gals, to the somewhat tarnished trailblazers, and all the resilient women in between who embody that oft-quoted phrase, “to thine own self be true.” Amen, sister!

Grace Cooper (a nom de plume) left her long marriage a decade ago, and with it went all sense of her identity—but not for long. Now 67, she has begun chronicling her tales of looking for love in all the wrong places, and unexpectedly finding herself.

Giddyap, grown-up girls! From left to right, Free People fringe jacket, Ba&Sh denim flared skirt and Isabel Marant suede cowboy booties. 

By Janet Kelly

REMEMBER watching those TV series about the Wild West— “The Roy Rogers Show,” “Gunsmoke,”The Lone Ranger,” “Annie Oakley?”

Handcrafted in stain-resistant saddle-brown suede, Freda Salvador’s city-dweller cowboy boot gives a nod to classic western style. Pull it on or off easily for swaggering around town. Also available in black suede and white leather, it sells for $495.

How do you spell cozy? Faherty’s Bozeman plaid flannel shirt ($168, Tuckernuck) is exactly what we want to pull out of the closet on cold mornings and keep on throughout the day. Wear with jeans and boots for walking the dog, running errands or meeting friends for coffee. Plus the muted colors make it a less traditional, more interesting choice.

Made in Spain from calfskin leather, Ba&Sh’s braided Bergamo belt with its aged brass buckle and rugged look appeals to our inner Annie Oakley. Also available in a chocolate brown, it comes in two lengths—33.5 or 35.4 inches—and sells for $215.

Go rhinestone cowgirl and match these wide-leg Hatcha jeans from Ba&Sh with the Bergamo belt of the same label (above). Complete the picture with the label’s quarter-zip alpaca sweater in burgundy—or pale gray—and a pair of chunky loafers.

Avec Les Filles updates the classic jean jacket with a 28-inch denim shacket in an inky acid wash and pintucks at the shoulders and cuffs. It sells for $139 at Nordstrom.

I have been saying “just no” to the ubiquitous maxi denim skirt, which rather than flattering most figures, weighs them down. Opt instead formid like Dôen’s cotton poplin Sabina skirt with broderie-anglaise detailing. It sells for $228 at Net a Porter.

This sleeveless, denim jacket ($340) is lined with warm sheepskin and topped with a Peter Pan off-white sheepskin collar— for those cold days herding cattle into the corral. Seriously cool vibes wherever you happen to wear it.

With its Cuban heel, pointed toe and pull tabs, Isabel Marant’s faded black suede booties rock cowgirl cool. Considering the $750 price tag, you will probably want to keep them safely indoors or on the sidewalk, instead of, say participating in any rodeos.

Another flattering denim skirt—with a just-below-the-knee length that won’t hobble you as go about your day—and will show off your boots. It sells for $245. Here’s another longer style with a contrasting lighter denim.

Put a shine on your western duds with Cos’s oversize, foldover clutch ($190) from its fall 2023 collection. The embroidery is an unexpected, nice touch. A magnet closure hides the zipper and an interior pocket keeps your keys in place, so you can easily find them in the black hole of your bag.

For wannabe cowgirls, any worthwhile western jacket must have fringe. Free People’s Fringe Out Denim Jacket meets that requirement and then some with its abundant amount. A generous cut, a 30-inch butt-covering length, side slits and a rounded hem ensure a comfortable piece of outerwear.

Looking authentic isn’t cheap. Take these shearling-lined, distressed-suede boots with  metal cap toe. They sell for $790 at Moda Operandi. Be sure you like them, though, because they’re marked “final sale” and not returnable.

And more we like this week:

A neck-coddling, stand-up collar, long sleeves with tapered cuffs to block the cold and flap pockets to warm hands or store necessities, this Paros faux fur jacket blends chic with practical. It sells for $495.

How I ever lived without a down vest, I don’t know, but Uniqlo has a sporty new one that comes in the blue above as well as in off-white, beige and black. An improvement in warmth comes from the high fill power of the down, while “nanodesign technology” gives the fabric is puffy feel and shine. Even though the fabric is coated with a water-repellent agent, the finish is not permanent, unfortunately. The Powder-Soft Down Vest sells for $99.90.

MyLittleBird often includes links to products we write about. Our editorial choices are made independently; nonetheless, a purchase made through such a link can sometimes result in MyLittleBird receiving a commission on the sale. We are also an  Amazon Associate.

Tops that go with gray. From left to right, a V-neck sweater from Massimo Dutti, an Isabel Marant cardi from Ssense and a wool T-shirt from & Other Stories.

By Janet Kelly

GRAY is listless and dull; gray is sophisticated, a neutral.  And if not 50, there are sooo many different shades of it. Yada, yada, yada. But in 2020, intimating that gray might benefit from a complementary color, the Pantone Color Institute chose two “colors of the year” instead of their usual one—Ultimate Gray and Illuminating (a sunny yellow)—the former for uncertainty mid-pandemic, the latter for hope. Anyway, it was the combination that launched/relaunched a 1,000 kitchen designs.

To hear her thoughts on wearing gray, we emailed color guru Leatrice Eiseman, head of the Eiseman Center for Color Information and Training and executive director of the Pantone Color Institute.

Although Eiseman thinks gray is among the most versatile colors to include in your wardrobe, she said: “The best tip for wearing gray is to use it with something that is a flattering color next to or on the face. That is the color that will reflect onto the skin. For example, a rosy pink, pinky beige or coral. Of course, red is always possible as well. [Use] on the cheeks or the lips, in a necklace, a scarf,  blouse, or jackets or sweaters and if you are into hats and/or caps, that works well.”

We couldn’t agree more, but to add to Eiseman’s complementary colors for gray, we give our nod to navy, lilac and pale yellow, too.

Below, how to wear it well:

Yep, that’s Gwyneth Paltrow modeling Goop’s all-wool Rafaela peacoat, an oldie-but goodie style that favors longer lengths (instead of the usual cropped version) this season. Classically detailed with wide-notch lapels and flap pockets, it’s roomy enough to fit over a chunky sweater. And doesn’t navy look chic with dark gray? The jacket sells for $895.

Red is a favorite this season, and R13’s plush velvet blazer elegantly taps into the trend. It’s a show-stopping piece for a splurge-y $1,295. There are matching pants, too, just in case you’re feeling bold and flush and loved Tom Ford’s red velvet suit in the 1990s.

Take the triste out of winter—and a gray coat—while keeping your neck wrapped and warm in Cos’s oversize, colorful mohair-blend checked scarf. Measuring a generous 23.6 inches in width by 78.7 inches in length, it sells for $135.

Adorned with the label’s signature horsebit, Gucci’s Horsebit Chain Small Shoulder Bag ($3,490) in quilted leather comes with both a detachable leather strap and a chain shoulder strap. It comes in five other colors but red puts the most life into gray. Here’s a bigger, way less expensive choice—a satchel in apple red from Anthropologie.

Look sporty and subtly rich in Anthropologie’s Maeve V-striped, cotton-blend sweatshirt for $88.

Light up dreary gray days with this punchy red baby alpaca sweater from French brand Sézane. A favorite of Kate Middleton, the Princess of Wales, it sells for $170.

Wear Marimekko’s Toisto down vest now by it lonesome; come colder weather, slip it under you top coat for an extra layer of warmth (it has a down filling), plus there’s its neck-coddling high collar and pop-of-pink color. It sells for $510 at Anthropologie.

Massimo Dutti’s cashmere-blend V-neck sweater ($99.90) in lilac will flatter a lot of faces, while pairing perfectly with slouchy gray flannel pants.

On Prada’s fall 2023 fall runway, designers Miuccia Prada and Raf Simons top a white appliqué midi pencil skirt and bouquet shoes with a charcoal gray crewneck.

Remember those gray and yellow kitchens? We won’t pass judgment except to say we prefer the chic combination of charcoal gray and pale, lemony yellow in clothing. The Isabel Marant cardigan in baby alpaca sells for $485 at Sense. Here’s one for a good deal less at Uniqlo.

Have washed gray jeans or corduroys in a cement hue? Wear with & Other Stories’ boxy alpaca knit T-shirt with three-quarter raglan sleeves. It’s also available in yellow, red, light blue and beige for $99.

MyLittleBird often includes links to products we write about. Our editorial choices are made independently; nonetheless, a purchase made through such a link can sometimes result in MyLittleBird receiving a commission on the sale. We are also an  Amazon Associate.