I AM SO textbook it’s not funny. Like a good Baby Boomer, I have done everything according to plan: High school, college, Woodstock, marriage, career, divorce, remarriage, motherhood, hip replacement. The only thing missing is grandchildren, but really that’s up to my son as my husband keeps reminding me. Now, according to a recent newspaper article, I should be focusing on “downsizing.” After getting rid of the treasures we have collected over the years, my husband and I are encouraged to sell our home and move to an inexpensive foreign country like Costa Rica, which is apparently the new Collins Avenue, where we can start all over at some new vocation. That’s what people my age do, and who am I to buck the trend?
But what if I want more out of what’s left? So now I am wondering how to make the most of my so-called Golden Years, because simply aging in place and making more paintings is not a very “boomer” thing to do, except if you are George W. Bush whose post-presidency art virtually flies off the walls. After mulling things over, I’ve come up with the following:
1. If Freddie Mercury were still alive I could become a groupie and follow Queen around from concert to concert. That might even make the news, or at least the internet: “Oldest Queen fan bucks the trend.” Alas, Freddie died in 1991 and I only discovered his music after his death, being busy having a career and getting married and then divorced and married again and having a baby and then hip surgery. (See opening paragraph.)
2. If my husband were not so much younger and also felt like retiring, we could pack ourselves into an RV and see the USA. Or, because driving with him is really scary even in a car and I certainly am not up for handling one of those big rigs, we might just fly to a sunny Mediterranean isle and live on the beach, if I were not so prone to getting skin cancer and didn’t hate the beach so much. So, no.
3. I could completely deny my true personality and devote myself to God and start doing His work by adopting babies from Ukraine or wherever there are babies needing adopting, which I would definitely do if I were younger but at my age it is cruel to adopt a baby, or even get a puppy for that matter.
4. Write my memoirs for my progeny.
I better call my son and tell him to get busy on those grandkids.