I FINALLY figured out out why everyone is nuts. Yes, I mean everyone and that includes you. Come on, you know you are, even though you hope nobody notices. Still, there’s that thing you do—that weird thing—when nobody’s looking, or at least you think nobody’s looking. And that other thing, too. Anyway, all is forgiven because to be alive in today’s screwy culture where contradictions rule is to be made crazy. It’s inevitable.
The truth of this hit me today when I went to pick up a prescription at the local CVS. The first thing I saw upon entering the store was a mannequin dressed as a witch, leaning on a huge candy display adorned with miniature plastic pumpkins, under an orange-and-black banner proclaiming “Happy Halloween.” WTF? Not sure what month it is where you live, but here in Maine it’s early September, with temps hitting 90 for the last three days and more to come. It’s hot, buggy, muggy and gross. My primary concerns are scratching my itches and avoiding heat stroke, so excuse me if I’m confused about the promo for a holiday that is not until the end of October. Hey, I could be dead by then, and so could you, so I’d hold off on buying those trick-or-treat goodies for awhile.
Much more important than whether or not we stock up on Snickers is our universal and ongoing attempt at following the advice of experts on the art of living plastered on books, magazine covers and yoga studio walls everywhere: Be Here Now. We are each instructed that the key to living well is being mindful. We must live for today! Not only that, but we should live each day as if it were our last!! We must embrace the now!!! And above all, stop and smell the flowers!!!!
So if we’re all busy being here now and smelling the flowers, who’s got time for Halloween in early September? No guru anywhere ever said, “Live for sixty days hence.”
Andrea Rouda blogs at The Daily Droid.