I KNOW YOU’VE heard this before, that thing about how “there are two kinds of people in the world, the kind that does this and the kind that does that,” and it’s always different stuff, and usually it doesn’t really hold water, at least not for everyone. But I’m pretty sure this one does: There are two kinds of people in the world, those who have grandchildren (TWHG) and talk about them incessantly and think people are interested and those without any grandchildren (TWAG) and who are not the least bit interested in yours.
Forgive me, but TWAG are getting really sick and tired of hearing from TWHG about how cute the little ones are and about the adorable noises and funny faces they make and what they did at their first birthday party and what their teachers say about them and how they are starring in their school plays and how you bake cookies together and how they are such talented artists and all the rest. The truth is that the whole entire time you are going on and on about the precious carriers of your DNA, whoever is facing you, pretending to listen and smiling with a glazed expression, is actually plotting their getaway. Just so you know.
Really, it’s nutty and sometimes downright rude. A new baby is one thing when it’s your very own and we’re good friends, but a grandchild is a different animal altogether, especially when I’ve never even met the kid’s parents and hardly know you. Besides, even though I am among TWAG, I still matter! Ask me a question about my life, why doncha? So stop with the stories and enough with the pictures and let’s focus on more important matters, like the fact that both of the people running for president are currently being investigated for wrongdoings and may be facing legal tribunals before either of them gets elected. Now there’s a topic worth jawing about.
— Andrea Rouda
Andrea Rouda blogs at The Daily Droid.
Editor’s note: Slightly guilty of granny ranting. But I’m learning to keep my mouth shut about how cute the little ones are, knowing how utterly boring it can be to people who don’t have grandchildren. On the other hand, maybe those people could consider that I don’t have much interest in their pets!