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Green Acre: The Last Garden

The Cavanaugh backyard, a shady paradise. / Photo by Stephanie Cavanaugh.

By Stephanie Cavanaugh

WELL, I THOUGHT, I could write about gardening. 

That was in June of 2016, when I was searching for a perch at Bird, and fashion, and food, health, and design had already been claimed. That was 504 columns ago. At an average of 700 words per story, that would be 352,800 words. That’s longer than any Stephen King novel except for The Stand.

I don’t know about you, but I’m impressed. 

Returning to the subject at hand: Sure, I thought, I have a garden and I’ve been planting and tending it for more than 30 years, though not always successfully. 

There was the blight of the apricot tree (not my fault, it came with the house) that was replaced by the kwanzan cherry,  whose massive canopy accounts for our lack of zinnias and sad roses.

I do adore invasives and have warned you and warned you—even while planting them myself. Wisteria is really irresistible. Oh, the scent. And honeysuckle, trumpet vine, and autumn clematis—which I did not plant, by the way; some seeds blew by from somewhere and said to theirselves: What a nice place to live. Loving that garage roof. 

I’ve done battle with postal-persons tramping across the front garden, careless dog owners, raccoons sleeping on the back-porch sofa, a family of opossums,  mice,  bugs, and feral cats.  

There was the, alas, temporary joy of my little greenhouse, where I could overwinter the jasmine, orange,  lemon, and flowering tropicals like hibiscus that I can’t live without. Built on a porch next to my office, home to my parakeets who flitted about cage free, it was my little slice of paradise. The scent on a sunny winter day was enough to put me in a coma. 

Permanent is the pleasure I take in our five window boxes, which change with the seasons, fancy with bows and lights at the holidays, spring and fall bulbs and pansies, and flowery summers.  The occasional fabulous fake. 

I’ve learned a great deal over the years, such as that potatoes can actually grow on those frilly potato vines we plant as ornamentals. I had one once. You can also cut up a sprouted potato, plant the bits and create a leafy border, for nearly nothing. And avocados? Did you know they grow on those plants you grow from pits? This has never happened for me, but it’s apparently so. 

The column has forced me to stay on top of the weeding and mulching, feeding and pruning. Ordering bulbs and falling for new plants. When I say me, I do mean me and My Prince, who digs the (deep) holes, schleps mulch and dirt, and often takes over the unpleasant work, particularly the clean-up, when I’m having the vapors and must lie on the porch sofa like a sleepy raccoon—but with wine and a book. 

Now we’re done, this is my final column. Editors Nancy McKeon and Janet Kelly will be working on Grownup Girl Fashion on the Substack platform, following style and beauty trends. I might contribute something, though I’ve been cautioned about mentioning peacock feathers.

What is life without peacock feathers? Shall we find out?

Total word count, 505 columns: 353,321.

 

Grownup Girl Fashion by MyLittleBird

Fashion and beauty for women over 40. A Substack from the writers who bring you MyLittleBird.
We’ll still be here at MLB, but do come check us out on Substack. You’ll no doubt find other newsletters, on all topics, that interest you as well.

 



10 thoughts on “Green Acre: The Last Garden

  1. jean gudaitis says:

    You will be missed.

  2. Carol Roger says:

    Where to start? The laugh out loud response to your turn of a phrase will leave a hole in my reading pleasure, not to mention the wisdom I have learned from you.
    But because you are Stephanie somehow your best will go on!

  3. Becky Fleeson says:

    Oh I will miss reading your columns. They are like a nice chat on the porch with a glass of wine! Bind them up in a book please!

  4. Stephanie – I sincerely hope you will put those 504 columns together into a book. They’re so smart, and so funny, and so useful! Come on! Contribute to the culture!

  5. patricia spirer says:

    Will miss you but looking firward to substack

  6. Eleanor says:

    Thanks, Stephanie, I enjoyed reading about your life as a gardener. Hi to the Prince.

  7. Favorite Little Bird! Happy trails to you..

  8. Barbara Kreger says:

    This note is to all you Wordy Women at MLB. Thank you for your energy and enthusiastically written and helpful stories. I’ve loved reading them and will miss you all.
    Barb

  9. Amy Schumaier says:

    I will miss your gardening columns. The photos and the images that your articles give me of your garden always make me envious. Yet I also love how you admit that it’s a process with both successes and failures. Thanks for the inspiration.

  10. Maggie Hall says:

    No, no, say it isn’t so. Like your wondrous garden your, so readable, column should be kept alive. If the Washington Post, the New York Times, or Wall Street Journal, had any sense of what readers would love they would snap you up and herald you as the star, you already are! And I’m sure they’d love to hear about your thoughts on peacock feathers!

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