From the EnVy Pillow website.
By Valerie Monroe
If you’re interested in feeling happier about your appearance—especially as you age—you might like reading what she has to say about it. For more of her philosophical and practical advice, subscribe for free to How Not to F*ck Up Your Face at valeriemonroe.substack.com.
Can’t get enough Valerie Monroe? There’s more at https://valeriemonroe.substack.com.
MY GRANDDAUGHTER, M, and I were playing one of her favorite games: She’s Detective Little M and I’m a civilian who, due to circumstances undefined but never completely unrealistic, is constantly losing things. I’ve lost my house keys, my dog, my pants (went swimming in a river and when I returned to shore they were gone), and my TV. The game always begins the same way. I pretend to call Detective Little M (a.k.a. DLM), and she, on a scooter in traffic, at the police station, or in bed, answers the call with a slightly annoyed, “What is it?”
“I lost my TV,” I confessed in our most recent conversation. “I came home and it was gone.”
“It’s the middle of the night,” said DLM. “Can you wait till the morning? Okay, never mind,” she said, quickly reconsidering. “I’ll do it.”
Profuse thanks on my part.
Three minutes later, DLM appears before me on her scooter. “Found it. Here it is.” She mimics handing me a large object.
“Where was it?”
“Well,” said DLM, “actually, my friend took it.”
“Your friend took it?”
“Yes,” said DLM. “She went into your house but she thought it was her house and she was hungry and she wanted a snack, so she put the TV in her bag for later.”
“Wait a minute,” I said. “She thought my TV was a snack?”
“Well, yes,” said DLM. “She was wondering . . . she was carrying the bag . . . she was wondering why her snack was so heavy . . . ”
“Detective Little M,” I said, “that is the most preposterous story I have ever heard.”
“What’s pres . . . posterous?”
“It means unbelievable,” I said.
“Well, Grammie . . . ” said DLM. She looked intently into the middle distance, as if an explanation were hanging there, ripe with logic, waiting to be plucked. After a moment, she returned her gaze to me: “My friend was drunk.”
“That,” I said, “explains everything.”
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Speaking of losing things, I gave a talk in Tokyo last week at a private club. Most of the women were expats from one place or another. I was struck by their enthusiastic response to HNTFUYF—and how much they said they needed to hear about the insidious ways our beauty culture (and Asian beauty culture even more ferociously) can unhappily influence our self-image, self-confidence, and overall self-regard.
A couple of women close to my age brought up the issue of loss vis-à-vis an aging face, which got me thinking about the more difficult feelings we have about our maturing appearance, ones I don’t often write about. Take a look at the actor Kathryn Grody’s brilliant clip on TikTok (it inspired a one-woman play she’s written and performs), where she vivaciously captures some of our more conflicted moments. A reminder: Acknowledging and expressing our rage and grief—feelings that are so understandable!—contributes to the complexity and richness of our wisdom.
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Q: You recently mentioned a few different pillow brands designed to prevent wrinkles on a sleeper’s face. I was intrigued and looked them up. One of the brands (enVy) also touts copper-infused pillowcases. The copper is supposed to kill bacteria, viruses, and fungi, while also “promoting elastin and collagen, and repairing and rejuvenating your skin.”
It seems to be an undisputed fact that copper kills bacteria and other microbes. But is that a good thing? Aren’t we supposed to have a facial microbiome full of diverse bacteria and fungi as part of a well-functioning immune system? How do we know copper wouldn’t kill the good bacteria along with the bad?
A: How I love the level of engagement readers have here. From where I sit at HNTFUYF Central, I’m surveying a community of smart, curious, accomplished, and kind women pitching one interesting (usually beauty-related) question after another. To wit: the next-level microbiome question above. I mean, the original question was about pillowcases and wrinkles; now, we’re wondering about the effects of copper on the skin microbiome. Which was a fine reason to email HNTFUYF DermDiva Heidi Waldorf, M.D. for advice.
“Copper has been used as an antibacterial since the time of Hippocrates,” she said. In the 1940s, it was used in wound-care dressings, then with silver in sheets in burn units. (If you’re curious about how copper kills bacteria, check out this fun website.) Specifically, copper works against the common pathogenic bacteria Staphylococcus aureus and E. coli; fungi and yeast; and has even shown promise against several viruses, said Waldorf. Curbing bacterial growth is increasingly important as antibiotic resistance increases, she added. As for your question about the skin microbiome: Copper affects the growth of only pathogenic (bad) bacteria; the normal skin microbiome isn’t altered.
“The antibacterial effect makes pillowcases containing copper fiber helpful for acne-prone people, especially for teens who don’t always wash well, or who tend to be more oily and, therefore, leave more bacterial ‘soup’ on their pillowcases overnight,” said Waldorf. She had one patient whose acne improved markedly just by laundering her pillowcase more frequently—and then even more markedly when she switched to a copper-infused pillowcase.
The first studies of copper-impregnated pillowcases for wrinkle reduction were published in 2009, said Waldorf. The theory is that copper absorbed through intact skin can up-regulate the secretion of extracellular skin proteins and stabilize that new extracellular matrix. If you understand that last sentence, please enlighten us in the comments. I’m not going to try to explain it, because Waldorf doesn’t recommend a copper-infused pillowcase for its wrinkle-preventing effects anyway, preferring the silk ones she recommended here. Bonne nuit!
