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By Valerie Monroe
If you’re interested in feeling happier about your appearance—especially as you age—you might like reading what she has to say about it. For more of her philosophical and practical advice, subscribe for free to How Not to F*ck Up Your Face at valeriemonroe.substack.com.
Can’t get enough Valerie Monroe? There’s more at https://valeriemonroe.substack.com.
VANITY, THY Name Is . . . George?
I recently found this fascinating tidbit in an email from History Facts:
Despite all the familiar portraits depicting George Washington with white hair, America’s first President was closer to a natural redhead than many people realize . . . There’s . . . a locket at Washington’s Mount Vernon estate containing a lock of reddish hair that was presented to Treasury Secretary Oliver Wolcott Jr. in 1797. Another misconception about Washington’s hair is that he wore a white wig, which was a common style choice at the time. But Washington was blessed with a full head of hair as he aged, which he powdered to look like the popular wigs of the time (his natural hair color eventually faded from reddish-brown to gray). The white color was favored by military men, and Washington often kept his hair at shoulder length and would tie it behind his head in a ponytail or with a ribbon. He would then fluff out the sides to give the appearance of a wig, and grease the hair with pomade to add firmness to his fluffy curls. Lastly, Washington sprinkled a fine white powder over his scalp for color, and often bunched his ponytail into a silk bag to prevent the powder from dusting onto his back and shoulders.
Please don’t ever again let me hear you, dear Readers, berate yourselves for being vain. It happens to the best of us.
Another thing that happens to the best of us: undereye issues. You might think it’s weird, but I happen to like undereye bags; I think they add character to a face (including my own). But for those less enchanted with them, there are options.
Q: I hate my undereye bags. I consulted with a cosmetic dermatologist who uses an Agnes brand RF microneedling device to treat that area. Price tag: $4,500. Yikes! Is it worth the money? Do your experts have an opinion on this device and/or other viable options?
A: Undereye bags aren’t on my personal “to undo” list. But I understand they can make you look tired when you’re not, and even festooned when you don’t feel like celebrating. You’re not alone in your predicament, dear Reader: According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, there’s been a 13% increase in blepharoplasty (surgery to remodel the eyes) between 2019 and 2022. I asked HNTFUYF DermDiva Heidi Waldorf for her best advice about solutions.
“Any resurfacing procedure that’s deep enough can tighten the skin, reduce crepiness, and make lower eyelid bags look less obvious,” said Waldorf.
A procedure like what? Like what?!
Calm down, people! Dr. Waldorf explains: “That includes treatments using radiofrequency (RF) microneedling or peeling (ablative RF), and carbon dioxide, erbium, or thulium lasers among others.”
However. (Imagine that word weighs 400 lbs.) “The only way to eliminate undereye bags is with surgery. A lower blepharoplasty (surgery on the lower lids), may include the removal or repositioning of fat pads and removing excess skin.” You can read more about what the surgery involves here.
“If you you want to explore only noninvasive treatment for now, go ahead with the RF microneedling,” said Waldorf. “But maintain realistic expectations. If you’re on the fence, arrange a consultation with an oculoplastic surgeon who can tell you whether you’d be a candidate for blepharoplasty and what that would entail.” The more information you have, the easier it should be to make a decision.
My two cents: Among my five-ish or so friends who’ve opted for a facelift, they made that choice because they “hated” something about their face or neck. Hate is a strong word about strong feelings. And because you said you hate your undereye bags, I think Waldorf’s suggestion about seeing an oculoplastic surgeon might be the quickest route for you to decide your facial fate. If you find yourself backing out of the office with alacrity, you can always opt for a less invasive procedure equipped with the knowledge that the dent in your wallet might be a bit greater than the dent in your dissatisfaction.
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Hi Val
There are several reasons why upper blepharoplasty is medically indicated – often excess tissue on the upper eyelids obstructs peripheral vision. In that case, insurance covers the procedure…as it may for cataract removal or prescriptive eyeglasses.
However, what I’d like to envision is a day when it’s possible to excise that part of one’s personality where the not-so-subtle tendency to shame others lurks. Think of how nice it would feel to decide for oneself – cosmetic procedures or not – without feeling judged by others. I’d name that procedure the MYOB.