A Flurry of Flies

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THE NIGHT before last, as I was getting ready for bed, I was surprised to see a fly circling the room. It was a common housefly that we rarely see in the house even in summertime, ever since we had our new windows and super-tight screens installed. Oh well, I thought, maybe he got in through an open door. Moments later I saw another one. This guy was on my pillow, which really pissed me off/grossed me out. I killed him immediately, something I hate doing because it is, after all, a life.

The next morning, which was yesterday, we awoke to see several more around the house. One there, two there. What’s going on, we wondered. Downstairs in the kitchen making coffee, three more were hanging out on the walls and one was on a lampshade. I became officially freaked out. I’d swat one and turn around to see another one right behind me.

Googling “flies in the house,” I learned that they are attracted to open garbage. Well, we not only don’t have open garbage, but when we have even the smallest amount of kitchen waste I take it to the outside trash bin. Obviously there could be only one explanation: We were cursed. But by whom? Then I remembered that woman online who had written hateful things about me in response to a recent blog post she found objectionable. I thought at the time she was a witch; it must have been her.

Last night a friend came for dinner (don’t tell Dr. Fauci), and she agreed that we had a “situation” on our hands as we swatted away flies during our meal. They seemed to drop with just the lightest tap, so they were old and weak already. Possibly they had gotten the wrong address and thought this was the Fly Hospice?

I went to sleep gripping the fly swatter, telling myself that in light of the global pandemic this was nothing. Still, it really was something, and on top of a global pandemic! (Talk about adding insult to injury.) Happily, this morning has been fly-free. It’s too soon to celebrate but I’ve put the swatter down to write this post, so perhaps it’s over. What I want to know is where did they go and from whence did they come?

—Andrea Rouda

Andrea Rouda blogs at The Daily Droid.