Too Much Stuff

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HOW DID I get so much stuff? I’m not rich, yet I have so much stuff. It’s stuff I don’t use or want and it’s weighing me down. I have to dust it. And move it around. Books, furniture, rugs, tables, lamps, chairs, so many that the ones I can’t use are piled high in the basement. The garage handles the overflow. I hate all the stuff. I want it gone. In fact, I want it gone before my death so my son doesn’t curse me out posthumously like many kids do when their parents die. I heard enough of that when I owned a second-hand shop and believe me, it wasn’t pretty.

I have three fine leather belts in my closet and I never wear a belt. I’m not sure how they got there. And the shoes! Imelda Marcos I’m not, but since I pretty much wear either my plastic Crocs or the same pair of boots every day, and sneakers at the gym, who are those other 50 pairs for? And what about the ceramic birdbath and the 40-odd terracotta pots? Why do we have four rakes? How did we get six snow shovels?

One solution would be to burn my house down and start fresh. That sounds glorious, especially the part where all of my husband’s boxes and boxes from grade school, full of love letters and blue ribbons and penmanship exercises, would go up in flames. But arson is against the law, something about insurance fraud. Too bad we don’t live in a flood zone.

So we had a yard sale last fall and maybe 20 people came. I sold next to nothing. Mainers are cheap. How cheap? I had something marked two bucks and a guy offered me one dollar and I said no and he walked away. That’s how cheap. And besides, they all have their own stuff.

Good news! Our landscape guy just came by to drop off some plants for the yard (more stuff), and I was able to give him the bird bath. He said his wife has been wanting one. It cost $80 originally, but I said he should just take it as a gift. We quibbled, but I persisted. I feel lighter already.

—Andrea Rouda

Andrea Rouda blogs at The Daily Droid.