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THERE’S AN OLD saying along the lines of, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Sitting down to write today’s post, I suddenly realized that if I followed that suggestion this blog would not exist. This realization made me feel ashamed. So to make up for all the things I have written that mocked, cajoled, criticized, complained, and other words like that, today I will write only about the good things in the world.
Comet Cleanser: It really works! It’s amazing. I guess it’s the bleach, but whatever it is, you just sprinkle a little on your tub, kitchen sink, in fact any tiled surface, and rub it with a wet sponge and in seconds it’s sparkling clean. I appreciate it since so many products do not live up to their claims.
Lorazepam: I just love it! I hope I am not becoming addicted, and I just take the tiniest dose once a day to counteract my anxiety and keep my blood pressure from hitting the high notes, but it certainly makes everything seem a lot better. It takes about 20 minutes to work, and for such a small pill it does the job all day long, which is surprising. I don’t understand why all those addicts who ruin their lives with heroin and opiates don’t just take a teeny little Lorazepam and be done with it.
My son: I guess most people feel this way about their kids, but my son is just about the best person I know. He’s beautiful to look at, very interesting to talk to, incredibly smart about a wide range of things I otherwise would never even have heard of, and is the funniest person I know personally. Really, he cracks me up constantly, especially when he does his “Maine accent.” Besides telling me that butter doesn’t have to be refrigerated, which has basically changed my life, he gave us his cat, and I love that cat.
Cats: Nobody knows for sure, and everyone has their own idea on the subject, but I’m guessing that God is a cat. Cats have the best take on life. They eat, sleep, enjoy the great outdoors and are very loving. Except for the going in and out so many times a day, they ask for so little and give so much in return.
The Philadelphia Eagles: I just love that they beat the Patriots in the Superbowl!
My house: It’s perfect. Besides being pretty, everything is just the right size. I love how the garage is just off the kitchen, and throwing out the trash does not require me to put on shoes and a coat like our last house. And there’s a hot tub which we use all year, not so much in summer but definitely in a snowstorm! I guess it would be fabulous if we lived right on the beach and overlooked the Atlantic Ocean, but then I would worry about tsunamis so in a way it’s perfect that we are situated a mile from the water, on a high ridge.
My car: I drive an Audi and it is the greatest. I just get in and go. I’ve never had the slightest bit of trouble with it. It’s the fastest car on the road when I want it to be, like when I’m at a traffic light and want to get ahead of some truck in the next lane, or when I merge onto the highway. The heater works in seconds, and I can talk on the phone hands-free. Except for it being German which I can’t go into here since I vowed not to say anything bad about anyone or anything —i.e. Hitler, the Holocaust, bratwurst—it’s flawless.
Coffee: Where would we be without it? I know some people don’t drink it, but for me it is the reason to get up in the morning. It’s also a nice break when I’m working on a painting and get stuck; I just go make some coffee and when I get back to my studio, it all makes sense. I never run out of coffee. I think I’ll have some right now.
—Andrea Rouda
Andrea Rouda blogs at The Daily Droid.