Feeling Crafty?

Two faces of faux: Dandy “boxwood” topiaries and flats of fake grass (great for a springtime dinner centerpiece). The artificial boxwood topiary is 32 inches tall and was recently $189.59, online only. The official description says it contains 830 leaves (who counted? I wonder). The Ashland Rectangular Grass Arrangement (about 10 inches tall and long) was recently $8.49, in store only.

Michaels does great boxes, different sizes for different sizes of junk. The City of Paris boxes are a LittleBird fave. They come in a couple of sizes and range in price from $6.99 to $10.99.

You really can rush the season with Michaels’ fake-floral offerings. The hyacinth arrangement is 14 inches tall in a nest-like base. Recently it was on sale for $29.99.

Yes, it’s spring again thanks to Michaels’ phenomenal fake-flower offerings. This trio of foot-tall faux geraniums in tin pails is $59.99, online only.

This assortment of 10 little chipboard frames by Recollections can be used in journals or anywhere, I guess. They’re just so adorable, $5.99.

For “retro-inspired” invitations or inscriptions in your journal (journaling is big at Michaels, and a lot of other places, it seems), Michaels sells, wait for it, typewriters! This We R Memory Keepers machine comes in the mint green shown, also pink and black and white, for $169.99, in store only. For newbies to the industrial age, the store points out that the typewriters offer upper case and lower plus . . . numbers and symbols. Imagine that.

These little doodads are plastic images and inspiring quotes “to add visual flair” to verses in your Bible journal, a category of journaling we were not aware of. This particular “She Blooms” package of 36 pieces is $4.99.

So many little cut-outs, little thingies to be glued to placecards or seasonal cards or the ever-popular journal. A pack of 50 tiny pink fabric rosebuds, recommended for shoes and wedding dresses, is $5.99. The Jolee’s Boutique wine-glass and grape-cluster three-dimensional stickers are glittery and $3.99 for a sheet of 16 stickers. Eighteen of the Mulberry paper leaves cost $4.99.

From Tim Holtz Idea-Ology come these teeny-tiny corked vials in three shapes, for use in shadowboxes or wherever. A pack of nine vials is $5.99. On the right, another Ashland box, this time “Farm Fresh.” The box, about 7 inches square, is $6.99.

Finally, here is one of the Boston ferns I plopped in the urns out back in mid-winter. With a little fluffing they look great. Available in several sizes, they start at $9.99.

FAKE FERNS for the patio urns in winter. Fake blooms anytime. Twig wreath bases I’m “sure” I can fashion into something more sophisticated than the standard offerings.

The craft chain Michaels holds the same allure as hardware stores (and stocks just about as many SKUs, some 30,000) and fabric stores. It’s the promise, the illusion perhaps, of possibility. And purchases at those places make me feel as if I’m accomplishing something.

But screws and battery-powered screwdrivers make me feel guilty when they sit there month after month unused. Those lengths of fabric? They’re never going to be a useful garment, and they taunt me, even when they’re hidden away in a closet.

But Michaels’ bits and pieces aren’t like that. The fake peony just looks springlike, forever. The tiny bunches of grapes die-cut from paper—little doodads to affix to the invites for the wine-tasting you’re going to host . . . someday—they sit politely in a drawer and get a fresh smile out of you (okay, me) every time you see them.

Michaels’ things simply aren’t demanding: They accept you as someone of unlimited potential, to be realized when you (yeah, me again) get around to it. The chain also has a very generous return policy, so when I don’t utilize all the things I bought for a project (like fluffing up the backyard for a mid-winter open house), I can take the unused stuff back.

Of course, I don’t recommend approaching the needlework aisles filled with yarn and embroidery floss. Those puppies are demanding. Don’t wander too close unless you’re of tougher mettle than I.

I’m thinking of the three Christmas-stocking needlepoint kits I bought, one after the next, each one easier than the one before but none of them easy enough. I bought the first when my niece, Carolyn, was pregnant with her first child. Amelia was born in March, surely enough time to make a Christmas stocking. She’s now 4, and no stocking (at least none from me). I’m not even pretending with her younger sister, Evie, now 2.

I’m also thinking of the small MyLittleBird pillows I designed based on our logo and had planned to present to my fellow LittleBirds as a surprise. Well, the surprise is that I haven’t finished a single one of them.

I can’t blame Michaels. I know enough now to stay away from the aisles that require real commitment. But the rest of the place? Disney World for the ever-hopeful. And that “place”? Make that 1,371 stores owned and operated by the Michaels Companies in 49 US states and Canada. That’s a lot of fake ferns. And die-cut paper bits. A world of endless possibility.

But remember to stay away from the knitting and needlepoint aisles. Just sayin’.

—Nancy McKeon

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