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WE’VE GOT a new guy delivering our daily paper and it’s been a real drag. The last one had it here each morning at six by the latest, but this one shows up whenever he damn well pleases, or not at all, far too often. I caught a glimpse of him one morning as he sped off in his beater sedan with the loud muffler, looking bleary-eyed and only half-awake, and decided he’s either a drug dealer or a new father. Either way it’s none of my business, I just wish the paper arrived in time for my breakfast.
I’m no Einstein, but I’ve always thought that’s not a problem anyone would, or should, care about besides me. So I was surprised to read an article online about Kim Kardashian West losing five pounds on a stringent diet she’s undertaken to look her best at an impending black-tie gala. She’s got another five pounds to go to reach her goal, and with what little strength she has left she asked her 59,701,010 Twitter followers to “pray for me.”
Even though I have no Twitter account I do have this blog, and Kim’s request has emboldened me to ask my readers to pray for me later this week, specifically on Friday, when I fly to Venice on a 10-day holiday. Naturally, considering recent events, I am worried that I will be partially sucked out the window of the plane, then pulled back inside to no avail and die before reaching that magical city. My husband says because we have first-class seats that fold down into sleeping pods, that likely won’t happen. But what if it happens while I’m still sitting up? As my father always said, anything is possible.
While you’re down there on your knees, could you also pray for my cat? Lurch will be home alone with a pet-sitter who certainly will not go the extra mile and microwave his food for ten seconds like I do, which means he’ll have to eat it straight out of the can. He hates that. And of course, it almost goes without saying that a prayer for my paper to come earlier would be greatly appreciated.
—Andrea Rouda
Andrea Rouda blogs at The Daily Droid.