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RECENTLY I RECEIVED two marketing calls from vendors seeking my business. While certainly annoying, this is nothing extraordinary, except for the fact that both calls came from the offices of medical doctors.
The first was from a woman representing our family physician, wondering why my adult son had not yet made an appointment since signing on with the practice over a year ago, shortly after he moved to Maine. She pointed out that “Now would be a great time for him to come in for a thorough checkup, as the doctor has a lot of flexibility in his schedule.” I said that knowing Zack as well as I do I’m pretty sure he would not see a doctor unless he was sick, and even then he’d have to be really sick. She began a prepared spiel stressing the importance of regular checkups but I stopped her and said my son has his own home and phone number and maybe she should call him.
The next call came from my dermatologist’s office. I had cancelled a follow-up appointment after a minor procedure several months ago because I went to Florida, and never rescheduled. “The doctor really wants to see you,” she intoned, sounding quite stern. Thinking it’s supposed to be the other way around, I assured her that I’m fine and have no problems whatsoever, at least none requiring a dermatologist. She countered by saying the doctor was now booking out “as far as September,” and so if I anticipated having any problems by then I should schedule an appointment now. “You never know when something will pop up,” she added helpfully. I told her I would be happy to just be alive by September, and completely agreed that “you never know.” She said that was all the more reason to make an appointment now. I promised to call back soon.
Either fewer people are getting sick these days or they’re finding other ways to fix themselves when they do. I’d say this is a good trend, except for all the poor doctors struggling to pay their malpractice insurance. Thank goodness for new illnesses like the Zika virus or all those doctors would face financial ruin.
— Andrea Rouda
Andrea Rouda blogs at The Daily Droid.